- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Battle of Hoth (Great Galactic War)
- Nominated by: Cade Calrayn
04:55, January 4, 2013 (UTC) - Nomination comments: A Battle of Hoth. Short, sweet, and icy... *wanders off to find ice cream*
(4 Inqs/2 Users/6 Total)
Support
IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:25, January 9, 2013 (UTC)- —Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 04:45, March 7, 2013 (UTC)
- Sir Cavalier of One
(Squadron channel) 12:24, March 8, 2013 (UTC) - CC7567 (talk) 21:03, March 9, 2013 (UTC)
- Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:47, March 14, 2013 (UTC)
- Stake black msg 02:08, March 16, 2013 (UTC)
Object
Floyd
Article for this "fleet" of prototype warships?- Done.
Also, article for superdreadnaught?- Done.
Article for the "secret Chiss enclave"?- Done.
"The presence of the powerful prototype ships ensured the survival of many of the Republic crews—including Satele Shan," This should be "crewmembers" or something like that, right? It doesn't really match up as is.- Done.
"Navy ambushed the Republic ships and began a protracted battle that lasted for days and spread over several star systems." Such as?- IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 03:30, January 6, 2013 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
As with the Sith Emperor article, please make sure that you consistently include or exclude "a"/"an" attributives in links. There's a slight discrepancy in the infobox with "An Imperial prison ship" and "A transport ship."- Done.
If the battle took place in several systems, not just Hoth, then the infobox "location" field should express that as well.- Done.
Is it "the Star of Coruscant" or just "Star of Coruscant"? The intro formats it as the former, while everywhere else it seems to be pretty much referred to as the latter. Even if sources refer to it both ways, one should be picked for consistency. Please check.- Ah, I forgot the "the" in the intro. Done
"and was stranded on the surface for six months before he was rescued": this sounds more like it belongs in the Aftermath, since it didn't happen during the course of the battle itself.- Done.
"A Sith holocron was believed destroyed in the battle, but Imperial forces would recover it over two decades later with help from the Chiss Ascendancy." Same here. The part about the holocron being destroyed technically could remain in "The battle section," but I would recommend moving it into the Aftermath for better flow.- Done.
A link to Battle of Hoth (Second Great Galactic War) needs to be worked into the Aftermath somewhere.- Done.
Would there be a slightly better way to format the TOR {{C}} tag in the Appearances section? Perhaps something like (Mentioned only in-game; Codex entry), to avoid using the ampersand (&).CC7567 (talk) 20:31, March 9, 2013 (UTC)Stemming off the previous objection about the Star of Coruscant, it appears that there is a similar problem every time the Vehement Sword gets mentioned, so please check these and all of the other ship names throughout the article to make sure they're consistently formatted properly (with or without "the").CC7567 (talk) 20:58, March 9, 2013 (UTC)
Toprawa
I'm not really familiar with the "order of prominence" here, but I offer the possibility that "Galactic Republic" should perhaps be listed before "Jedi Order" in the "Combatants" infobox field.- Done.
The intro states explicitly that the battle began in a "nearby star system," but the article itself really only alludes to this in general by saying the battle played out over several systems. I would like to see the body state this literally as the intro does.- Done.
- I'm afraid this still isn't quite getting at what I'm looking for. The most recent change states that they were "not far" from the Hoth system. That's not exactly synonymous with saying the battle actually started in a nearby star system. I would still like to see this mentioned explicitly.
- Done.
The body of the article states that multiple starfighter "units" participated in the battle, which is somewhat different from the infobox, which only states that "multiple starfighters" participated. I think the infobox should probably add "units" to that bit.- Done.
A paragraph break in Aftermath would be welcome.- Done.
Since we know canonically that this holocron was in fact lost and not destroyed, I think something should briefly be added to this sentence noting this for our immediate clarity: "and a Sith holocron was believed destroyed during the fighting."- Done.
This sentence doesn't seem to make sense. "Mistakenly" and "though" seem exclusive of each other. It should be one or the other, no? "The Imperial Agent missions involving the Shadow Arsenal superweapon mistakenly place the Battle of Hoth near the end of the war, though this is inconsistent with all other sources."Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:44, March 13, 2013 (UTC)
Stake
Hard to review such a solid article, but here it goes:
My main concern is towards POVs. Are terms like "highly advanced prototype warships" and "legendary prototype" used by impartial sources?- Again, that objection's been used rather excessively lately. The warships were highly advanced, and the Star of Coruscant is well-known by both sides of the conflict (almost every companion character says that they've heard of the ship before).
- Those are not adjectives I would use, and I probably disagree with your take on our NPOV policy, but I won't hold that against you. Stake black msg 02:07, March 16, 2013 (UTC)
- Again, that objection's been used rather excessively lately. The warships were highly advanced, and the Star of Coruscant is well-known by both sides of the conflict (almost every companion character says that they've heard of the ship before).
A little context on the Treaty of Coruscant would be nice.- Done.
Context on the Shadow Arsenal superweapon project.- Added "the Republic's", but there's not much more context needed other than that it's a superweapon. What the Shadow Arsenal does isn't really related to the battle.
In the Aftermath section, try to make it a little clearer the allegiance of the people you mention. Is Doctor Godera on the Imperial or Republic side, for instance?- Done.
This one isn't a proper objection, as you're not required to do so, but it would be great if you created the article for Darkil Aro, which shouldn't be too much of a hassle.- I'll do so soon
- Good job, as usual. Stake black msg 19:19, March 15, 2013 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:56, March 16, 2013 (UTC)