- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
B'omarr Order
(5 Inqs/3 Users/8 Total)
Support
- -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 14:13, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
Green Tentacle (Talk) 01:13, 17 November 2007 (UTC)
-- Darth Culator (Talk) 01:27, 17 November 2007 (UTC)
Thefourdotelipsis 23:41, 17 November 2007 (UTC)- JMAS 00:54, 26 November 2007 (UTC)
—Graestan(This party's over) 02:24, 28 November 2007 (UTC)- Very well-written, Acky. Hobbes(Tiger's Lair) 05:25, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
—Xwing328(Talk) 16:43, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
Oppose
Per rule 9 — there are some appearances that are not listed in the references. Either they need to be included with the information they contain, or the proper citation tags (for example, {{Mo}}) need to be affixed to the appearances which require them. Greyman(Paratus) 15:41, 9 November 2007 (UTC)- Ok, I've added {{mo}} where applicable. Other than the Roque Squadron handbook, which I am in the process of acquiring, and possibly Who's Who in Jabba's Palace, the remaining non {{mo}} sources/appearances contain no refable information whatsoever. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 16:04, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
- (Clarified objection via IRC). Greyman(Paratus) 16:09, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
- Every non {{mo}} appearance currently referenced.-- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 20:59, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
- It looks like you got them all except And Then There Were Some: The Gamorrean Guard's Tale — that is, unless that story is supposed to have a {{Mo}} tag attached. Greyman(Paratus) 21:32, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
- Whoops, missed that one. Reference's been added though. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 22:44, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
- It looks like you got them all except And Then There Were Some: The Gamorrean Guard's Tale — that is, unless that story is supposed to have a {{Mo}} tag attached. Greyman(Paratus) 21:32, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
- Every non {{mo}} appearance currently referenced.-- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 20:59, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
Needs a BTS, per Rule 4--Eyrezer 23:14, 9 November 2007 (UTC)- Addressed. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 20:59, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
- From the motel of Green Tentacle:
"Palace" or "palace". I'd say "palace" unless you're using the full name but I could be wrong. Either way, it needs to be consistent.Same goes for "Citadel" and "citadel".It also might be better to call it the monastery or something until you get to the point where it actually becomes Jabba's Palace. No biggie though.Practices and beliefs: "The Order originally consisted only of Humans, though in time it encompassed a great many species." Consider moving to the appropriate place in history instead.B'omarr Registry should be linked shouldn't it?Do these images have to be so huge?Behind the scenes could do with a bit more. Specifically, since they were just brains in jars in ROTJ, which source first identified the Order? Green Tentacle (Talk) 00:01, 15 November 2007 (UTC)- I think they've all been addressed. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 23:19, 16 November 2007 (UTC)
It says they were founded in 700 BBY, but would ponder for millennia...is this right? Thefourdotelipsis 07:52, 15 November 2007 (UTC)- Addressed. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 23:19, 16 November 2007 (UTC)
The article claims that Eron Stonefield entered K'vin's Outpost. This is false. The player character in Missions enters the outpost. Thefourdotelipsis 08:16, 15 November 2007 (UTC)- Addressed. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 23:19, 16 November 2007 (UTC)
- From the squalid cublicle of Graestan:
"Real world" can be changed to something like "physical world" to avoid making a POV statement; the same goes for "reality," as we cannot dismiss the realm of thought as unreal in a universe possessed of its own band of magic.- Addressed.
"The tests varied, with some related to logic, others to knowledge of sacred texts and others to physical tasks, to test if a monk could use his mind to block out pain."—Please reword and clarify.- Addressed.
Your lack of serial commas disturbs me.- Care to clarify?
- Clarified on IRC; I think I got them all. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 23:19, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
- Care to clarify?
"The brain support unit allowed the monks to survive without being connected to the special equipment in the deepest parts of the monastery, though they were initially difficult to use, and most monks preferred not to."—Specify what they preferred not to do. Otherwise, it looks like they preferred not to survive, or to be connected to the special equipment.- Addressed.
"Four spindy black legs"…"the traditional four"—Redundant.- Addressed.
"Rarely lasted long, and the monks soon left"—Again, redundant.- Addressed.
The word "order" is capitalized a lot, and I'm not sure it should be in every instance. For example, "K'vin lived on Tatooine at the B'omarr outpost, and like the B'omarr, his Order had their brains removed so they could ponder the infinite for ever more" is somewhat awkward. Please reexamine capitalization usage and adjust where necessary. Consistency is key.- Decapatalised any "order"s that were along, left any "B'omarr Order"s capatilised.
"The body was found by one of Jabba's Gamorrean guards, though J'Quille managed to cover up the monk's death."—Contradictory. I know what you meant; please specify.- Addressed.
"The B'omarr Monastery"—Palace, palace, palace. Palace. Please change a few of these to reflect the building's other functions and monikers.- Addressed.
Can we get a better picture of Bubo? His eye is cropped off at the top.- Replaced it with another.
One more quote?- Added.
- —Graestan(This party's over) 06:06, 22 November 2007 (UTC)
- Sorry it's been so long; I've been having a hectic RL. I'll fix these this evening. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 08:48, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
- Addressed them all, bar one, which I would like to be clarified, if at all possible. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 22:54, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
- Sorry it's been so long; I've been having a hectic RL. I'll fix these this evening. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 08:48, 27 November 2007 (UTC)
Comments
Approved by Inquisitorius 21:33, 13 December 2007 (UTC)
- Not a character, ship or location, and not TOTJ. :) -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 14:13, 9 November 2007 (UTC)
- According to Who's Who in Jabba's Palace, the B'omarr Monks are listed under "The Bad" section...maybe that, or Insider's writing of the B'omarr Monks, deserves some mention in the BtS. Just a suggestion since I haven't been able to read Who's Who in Jabba's Palace myself. Greyman(Paratus) 21:37, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
- I've been having trouble getting my hands on that myself. I'll see what I can do. Any assistance from anyone is welcome. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 22:44, 10 November 2007 (UTC)
- I still haven't gotten access to Insider 60, but I've added a brief mention of it in the BtS. Is that what you had in mind? If not, I'll continue trying to find Insider 60. Thanks, -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 23:27, 16 November 2007 (UTC)
- I could be wrong, but don't Hyperspace links count as Sources? —Xwing328(Talk) 22:02, 5 December 2007 (UTC)
- Usually yes, but in this case they just link to images, so external links would, IMHO, make more sense. -- AdmirableAckbar [Talk] 08:52, 6 December 2007 (UTC)