Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/Arbeloa

< Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Arbeloa

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Good work on the objections. 501st dogma(talk) 12:07, September 29, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 03:14, October 18, 2013 (UTC)
  3. His first name is Alvaro. Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:26, November 12, 2013 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 02:05, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 19:25, April 9, 2014 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:39, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
  7. Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:11, April 18, 2014 (UTC)

Object

501st
  • Intro: Context on Artorias? It would probably also be good to say it fell to the enemy, to give context on the refugees.
    • added some more context in the intro.
  • "Later, Arbeloa joined forces with the Artorian princess, Kaye Galfridian, and other slaves in a revolt on their slaveship, the Tsam P'ah." I wouldn't say here that it was their worldship. Saying it was the one they were imprisoned would be better.
    • reworded for more clarity.
  • Body: You have no linking or context for the Yuuzhan Vong. You should add that they invaded the galaxy. Also, when you say around the Battle of Dantooine, give us a date as well - 25 ABY.
    • added some more details.
      • You still need to link to the Yuuzhan Vong.
        • Linked.
  • You need to mention that Artorias fell in the body, and that the Pythea was destroyed.
    • added.
      • Last sentence of early life is not reffed now. 501st dogma(talk) 11:51, June 25, 2013 (UTC)
  • Context on Sha'kel?
    • added the fact that he was the commander of the ship.
  • Dibrook section: Context as to what is happening? Why are they suddenly at the space station. Also, you need to mention that they renamed the slave ship.
    • added some more information on why they were there.
  • Context on Ogden?
    • Added some more information to establish context of his appearance.
  • "When Ogden tried to usurp command from Galfridian, Arbeloa was directed to take the captain somewhere and bind him tightly to keep him out of the way. [6]" Did Arby do so? You should state so if he did.
    • Added. It's never shown in the comics, other than afterwords when he's already tied up and Kaye confronts him.
  • The Dibrook section has a little too much play-by-play with the talking. Could you cut some of this out?
    • I've tried to reword it some, but I've tried to be inclusive of all stuff that is going on in the source. He's pretty heavily featured in the comics.
      • Here's some play by play that could be toned down: "As the invasion force approached the shaper research facility, Galfridian ordered Arbeloa to give the order to halt but he assumed she was deferring to him due to her inexperience in leading. When he told her that she shouldn't be afraid to give orders and lead her troops, she pointed out that she ordered him to give the command due to his large size and the fact that she was small and likely to be overlooked. He apologized and gave the command and Galfridian thanked him for his encouragement." This talking back and forth is not quite needed, so try to cut out the unnecessary parts of this dialogue.
        • Ok cleaned that section up some. Thanks for the suggestions.
          • There is still some more play by play in that section, so read it over. Play-by-play uisually occurs when you have dialogue between people too often, or too much Vader sliced with his lightsaber stuff. You have her e a bit too much dialogue I think.
            • Ok did some more cleanup to eliminate the wordiness, let me know if that's better.
  • I'll be back with more. 501st dogma(talk) 22:15, June 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • The proper name for the enemy is not Vong, but Yuuzhan Vong. Please use the latter in your article.
    • fixed all abbreviations of Vong to full name.
  • Please go through and try to give more context to things. You have a lot of characters who are contextless. Additionally, go through and make sure everything flows. A lot of the article is disjointed. 501st dogma(talk) 22:55, June 24, 2013 (UTC)
    • created several articles for some of the characters. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 05:17, August 4, 2013 (UTC)
      • I meant that you should give some context to some of the context less things in the article. For example, Tsalok has no context whatsoever, so we don't know who or what he is. Look through the article and make sure everything has some context, if its needed. 501st dogma(talk) 14:07, August 4, 2013 (UTC)
  • "and Arbeloa helped subdue an unidentified Twi'lek thrall" Here you have to pipelink the Twi'lek Thrall.
    • done.
  • "Arbeloa was able to rip open one of the membranes and rescue a single child. They managed to escape before her mother obliterated the Yuuzhan Vong compound with the weapons of the Heart of Artorias." Okay, here you have it sounding like Nina is the mother of the small child. Additionally, I think you should mention the mother earlier, and maybe explain why she is commanding the ship. 501st dogma(talk) 11:52, August 18, 2013 (UTC)
    • ok reworded to make it more clear. Also added some more context for Nina, but I don't think this article really needs the details on why Nina was in control of the ship. It's not really germane to the article. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 23:58, August 18, 2013 (UTC)
      • Could you refer to Nina by name as her mother? Currently you pipelink to Nina via her mother, but never say it outright.
        • Ok reworked the Dibrook section some more to give context to Nina in reference to who she is and where she is. Hope this is better. Thanks.
  • I'll continue the review soon, though I think I saw a refless paragraph in the Dibrook section. 501st dogma(talk) 20:56, August 19, 2013 (UTC)
  • Last paragraph of Dibrook has a lot of play by play conversation in it. Please cut a bit of it out, or condense it.
    • reworded the paragraph some, let me know if that's better.
  • "During the fierce battle, Arbeloa saved the journalist Cianba who was covering the battle, by throwing her to the ground." I would add here that by throwing her to the ground, he saved her from a threat. Mention of the threat would be nice as well.
    • added more context to it.
  • I think the P&T could be expanded a bit. Mention of his brutality in taking off the Vong commander's scalp would be nice, and maybe mention of how he stuck at the Galfridian's side would be nice. 501st dogma(talk) 00:12, August 31, 2013 (UTC)
  • His gender needs to be mentioned in the intro and the body.
    • Added.
  • Intro should have mention of Dibrook and Shramar in it.
    • Added.
  • You mention the Battle of Dantooine by name in the body. Are you sure that it was reffered to as such in any of the books? I seem to remember a lot of battle articles failing to have conjecture tags when required. If it is conjecture, you need to pipelink it.
    • I didn't write the intro, and it's never clearly stated when the invasion of Vonak happened but that battle isn't mentioned. Reworded.
  • First sentence of Dibrook section: I would mention right away that it is the Dibrook station they are at, not later in the second sentence.
    • Did some rewording. I think I've pretty clearly stated the sequence of events of their arrival.
  • Context on Dibrook in body
    • Added location and the fact it's an inhospitable planet.
  • "As the invasion force approached the shaper research facility..." Is this where the captives are? It might be good to clarify.
    • Added
  • "The invasion force's rear guard was attacked by a group of thralls and Arbeloa helped subdue a Twi'lek thrall. Soon after, a recon force was attacked..." Try not to use attack twice in a row here.
    • Reworded.
  • Context on the AT-ST in the Shramar section. Just saying it is a walker will do fine. 501st dogma(talk) 00:02, September 18, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'll look it over more when I have time. 501st dogma(talk) 20:23, September 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • "When Ogden tried to usurp command from Galfridian, Arbeloa was directed to take the captain somewhere and bind him tightly to keep him out of the way, and the officer was taken inside the Heart and bound to an outcrop in a corridor of the ship." Please kill one of the takes here.
    • reworded.
  • Maybe something about his surprise at discovering that Queen was a Vong could be put in the P&T. It could also mention how he stood beside her anyways, despite this. 501st dogma(talk) 18:18, September 28, 2013 (UTC)
    • added a mention regarding his loyalty by standing by Nina even after her revealing her race. Not sure what I could say about him being surprised since her real race was a surprise to everyone except Kaye. Him being surprised is totally expected and not really related to his personality. If you can give me an idea of what you're looking for, I am certainly open to suggestions. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 01:56, September 29, 2013 (UTC)
      • That works. 501st dogma(talk) 12:06, September 29, 2013 (UTC)
His first name is Alvaro
4dot
  • "Early in the Yuuzhan Vong War, a potent invasion force from the Yuuzhan Vong who were invading the galaxy, landed on the Cilare homeworld and waged war on the warrior species." This could perhaps be rephrased so that we don't have "an invasion force that is invading" :P
    • rephrased.
  • "Arbeloa's species had been devastated in the attack; he urged recipients of the message to flee the oncoming Yuuzhan Vong invasion force while they still could, as attempting to fight the species was futile." Parts of this are redundant - those which aren't should be merged with the preceding paragraph.
    • reworded.
  • "Of his people, only Arbeloa survived," Yes, we know.
    • reworded.
      • Still there, I think.
        • Yeah, I see what you mean. Reworded.
  • "Arbeloa was onboard the Heart of Artorias" You need to establish that it's one and the same as the Tsam P'ah.
    • added.
  • "Arbeloa boarded the Dibrook station, which was loaded with survivors of recent Rim-world battles, with Kaye Galridian after the Heart of Artorias assisted the defenders of the station in destroying the attacking Yuuzan Vong ships." - This is arse about. Flip it around and it'll read better.
    • reworded to better reflect the timeline of events.
  • "Ogden attempted to commandeer their ship but Arbeloa picked him up with one hand and slammed him into a wall, stating that the New Republic would not take their ship." - "He tried to take the ship but then someone said he would not take their ship" in essence - perhaps rephrase for less repetition and nudge it ever-so-slightly away from PBP.
    • reworded.
  • Space stations have bridges? Honest question, may be the case.
    • it's never specifically stated, and was probably an assumption on my part. Removed.
  • "He scolded Ogden when the officer yelled at Galfridian." Too PBP.
    • yeah it was trivial, removed.
  • "When Ogden tried to usurp command from Galfridian, Arbeloa was directed to take the captain somewhere and bind him tightly to keep him out of the way, and the officer was forced inside the Heart and bound to an outcrop in a corridor of the ship." - Perhaps two different sentences would be in order.
    • reworded.
  • "As the invasion force approached the shaper research facility that held the captured sentients, Galfridian ordered Arbeloa to give the order to halt. He deferred, thinking that she was afraid to give orders and lead her troops, but she pointed out that she ordered him to give the command due to fact he was larger than her and more likely to be seen." - This is the first mention of the invasion force approaching the station, and requires condensing to avoid PBP. Some of this is more suited to the P&T.
    • added a mention of the invasion force to an earlier paragraph. I've already reworded this section to remove PBP, but I think it's important to leave it in since it's an indication that he still underestimates Kaye's leadership. If you could give me some more idea of what you are looking for, I'm open to suggestions.
      • It's no biggie, I just think that when you've got "dialogue" that doesn't really impede or affect action it could be better left as an example in the P&T.
  • "The invasion force's rear guard was attacked by a group of thralls and Arbeloa helped subdue a Twi'lek thrall." - Perhaps a little bit of context on a thrall, and... the invasion force was attacked by a thrall? Which Arbeloa is fighting? This is a tad confusing.
    • reworded.
  • Now you are referencing Arbeloa as a part of the invasion force, adding to the confusion. Forgive me if I've missed something obvious.
    • added in an earlier paragraph that Arbeloa accompanied the invasion force to the surface of Dibrook. Hope this clears up the confusion.
  • How did Nina come into it controlling the ship? Was she already on board? If so she should perhaps be introduced earlier.
    • He's never present when Nina takes control of the Heart and never refers or asks about it. I don't think it's really germane to this article. I do explain earlier in the article how she's in control of the Heart.
  • "Arbeloa explained to Kaye that they had to destroy the thralls in order to rescue prisoners that could be saved." - As an example of PBP here, you only need to say that "Arbeloa determined that they" but if you prefer to keep it as is this isn't a hard-and-fast objection per se. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 23:46, October 1, 2013 (UTC)
    • I think it should be in the article as an example of his pragmatism. Also added some P&T that refers to this.
  • "Shortly after, when Kaye faltered due to feeling the death of her father," - through the Force?
    • it's never stated, and the comics never state she is force-sensitive. I assume the writers would have gone more into if the series continued but I left it ambiguous. She does state she felt her father die and it was somehow due to her brother though. I don't want to add speculation.
      • Maybe then "somehow sensing the death of her father"? I understand it's difficult in this case, but in terms of flow it's a bit of a sticking point. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 02:19, October 5, 2013 (UTC)
        • Ok removed the reference to her brother. Probably doesn't need to be in this article. Thanks for the clarification.
  • "During the fierce battle, Arbeloa saved the journalist Cianba who was covering the battle. A strafing run by Yuuzhan Vong ships destroyed an Imperial AT-ST walker and Arbeloa tackled the journalist, knocking her into a ditch, which prevented her from being smashed by the wreckage of the walker." The chronology of this is odd, you mention that something happened and then explain it after. Some rephrasing here would not go astray.
    • reworded to make it more chronologically correct.
  • I'm not overly fond of using a nickname to refer to the character throughout the article. Perhaps using "the Cilare" to break it up".
    • fixed
      • I should clarify, it's only the shortened version of the name, not nicknames per se. Just in case anyone labels me a hypocrite down the track. :P
  • "Arb stood behind Queen Galfridian as she addressed the people who had survived the battle." A tad PBP, but I get why in context. Maybe just mention that he attends the speech, though?
    • I don't know, I think it's relevant to explain why they were at the meeting and the Queen's audience.
  • Based on what has been said in the bio, the P&T could probably be fleshed out... y'know, saving the kid on the Imp planet, wearing the Vong skull as a helmet... should be about 2 paragraphs there at a guess, but then I'm not familiar with the source material.
  • Otherwise that's it. I know it seems like a lot, but I think if these things get spruced up you should be well on the way. Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 00:28, October 2, 2013 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • A few preliminary objections. First, all punctuation in image captions needs to adhere to our related policy.
    • fixed.
  • There's a missing reference in the infobox; please fix.
    • fixed.
  • The Pythea requires context in the intro. Is it a ship? What kind of ship? What are its affiliations? You don't need to answer all of those questions, but please provide more info about it.
    • fixed.
  • "However, they were killed": who is "they"? I believe you mean the crew of the Pythea, but because the previous sentence talks about them and Arbeloa, it's grammatically possible for the "they" here to refer to the crew and Arbeloa, and I don't think you're saying that Arbeloa died here. Please reword as necessary.
    • reworded.
  • "during a dogfight with Yuuzhan Vong vessels": an event article should be linked at "dogfight."
    • created a link for an article, I'll create the article shortly. Still don't know what to name it thought :)
  • I'm not quite understanding why ref 1 (the reference to the Warfare endnotes) is being used. The infobox presents it as a source for his homeworld, but this isn't consistent with that same info in the first paragraph in the Bio, where it is referenced to Invasion 0 (ref 2). If ref 1 is the correct citation, then it should ideally be referenced in both places to avoid confusing the reader. Could you also explain to me why ref 1 is necessary, i.e. what does it say that can't be referenced to any issues of Invasion? Authorial comments are generally not official sources, so they (again, generally) should not be used as citations for canon material.
    • Fixed. His homeworld is never named in the comics. EGW uses the name Vonak, but never states explicitly that it's the homeworld. The connection wasn't made until the blog.
      • Please use {{WebCite}} for the reference. Also, references need to come after punctuation. The endnotes should also be listed under an "External links" section instead of a "Sources" section, as they currently are. CC7567 (talk) 00:51, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
        • fixed <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 01:10, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
          • Please check the placement of ref 1 at the beginning of the Bio section. This is minor, but it's still something that you should keep your eye out for. CC7567 (talk) 01:29, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
            • moved to after the comma, do you think it should be at the end of the sentence instead?
              • The endnotes can only serve as a reference for the information that it contains; if it is at the end of the sentence, that means that the entire sentence's information is attributable to that source. In its current placement, it's only a source for "Arbeloa was a male warrior who lived on Vonak." Hopefully that's enough information to help you decide where to put the ref. CC7567 (talk) 01:40, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
  • This is minor, but in the "Shramar" section, please find somewhere to split up the paragraph; aesthetically it's a bit long.
    • split into two paragraphs.
  • I'll begin reviewing the Bio once the above objections are addressed. CC7567 (talk) 15:22, October 18, 2013 (UTC)
Cav
  • First off, redlink in the intro.
    • created article, although I have no idea what to call it :).
  • Context on the Vong and the war.
    • added some context to the intro.
      • Needs some in the body.
        • Added a reference in the Early Life paragraph.
  • The Fire Breather technical info - is that from the comic itself, or a secondary source? If the latter, then a separate ref is needed for it.
    • comic shows them spewing flames so I think it's fine to be referenced to the comic.
      • True, but the technical info such as the anti-laser aerosols - is that mentioned in the comic?
        • No, but I sourced it.
          • Now, though, the first three sentences of the second paragraph are sourced to the NJO sourcebook, which is incorrect as it has no mention of the Cilare or the battle. The first two lines needed to be reffeed to the appropriate comic issue.
            • Ok resourced the earlier sentences to the comic.
  • Could probably do with a thorough go through for linking - the article appears underlinked in some places. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 18:42, November 6, 2013 (UTC)
  • Some more!
  • Infobox - affiliation could probably be filled out to include Kaye Galfridian.
    • added.
  • Infobox - skin colour needs to be added.
    • Added.
  • Do the sources ever use the term "Artorian" to refer to natives of Artorias? Linking to it creates a redirect to Artorias, and if it is a valid term, then a proper article should be made.
    • Fixed.
  • Some more detail on the slaveship revolt is needed I think.
    • added more details.
  • Last sentence, first paragraph, of "Dibrook" is unreffed.
    • added references.
  • Dibrook Station is inconsistently capitalised.
    • fixed
  • Nina Galfridan's status should be established earlier in the bio.
    • Not sure what you mean. She's referred to as the Queen in her first mention.
      • Well, I was refering to her Vong status earlier, but the reveal at the end makes more sensse from Arbeloa's POV
  • Who is Bylsma? They are just dropped into the Shramar section.
    • he's introduced in the Dibrook section. "Later, Arbeloa attended a strategy meeting with Kaye, Captain Ogden and Bylsma, the commander of the Dibrook station. "
      • Totally missed that. Whoops.
  • Needs show physical description stuff in the PT, and clothing, equipment, etc. - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 13:06, November 28, 2013 (UTC)
The Attack Arrives
  • "The fate of Commander Sha'kel"—unless we have evidence that predeterminism is operating on this occasion, this wording is rather POV-oriented and needs to be adjusted.
    • Fixed
  • No eligible quotes for the "Dibrook" or "Shramar" sections? Or the P&T, for that matter? Unless he doesn't have any dialogue at all, there should be quotes aplently judging from his number of appearances.
    • Added quotes.
      • In the P&T quote, is "Sometime kindness" supposed to be "sometimes kindness"? CC7567 (talk) 02:43, February 28, 2014 (UTC)
  • "the Yuuzhan Vong, an extra-galactic species that invaded the galaxy": this context should ideally come at the first mention of the subject (Yuuzhan Vong), which is in the previous sentence. Or you could consider removing the context altogether, since the intro doesn't need to specify context for every single subject—the intro should only provide the reader with the most basic level of understanding of the article. I'll leave it up to you, but something needs to be changed here.
    • moved the information about the Yuuzhan Vong to the first sentence.
  • There's a great deal of over-linking in the article. If you're having trouble spotting it, I would suggest that you use the "Highlight duplicate links" gadget in your preferences (which might require you to use the Monobook skin). Let me know if you need any help using the gadget.
    • I've enabled the gadget in my preferences but I am not seeing anything special in the article. Do I need to do something to my monobook.cs or something?
      • In your toolbox on the left sidebar, there should be a link that says "Highlight duplicate links." You'll need to click that each time to use the gadget. CC7567 (talk) 00:17, February 9, 2014 (UTC)
  • The article needs to entirely adhere to the current policy on rank capitalization, particularly for "queen."
    • Ok think I've got them all properly capitalized per the policy.
  • I'll start reviewing the body of the article once these are fixed. CC7567 (talk) 17:57, February 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • The second paragraph of "Early life" needs to provide some proper context on the Yuuzhan Vong.
    • added some context.
  • The sourcing in the same paragraph needs to be fixed. The current placement of ref 5 attributes everything preceding it (in that paragraph) to The New Jedi Order Sourcebook, which is not true for the extermination of the Cilare.
    • resourced that paragraph.
  • "Before their destruction, Arbeloa's warning was passed on by the crew of the Pythea": there is a dangling clause error here—as it currently read, the first clause ("Before their destruction") refers to "Arbeloa's warning" as its subject instead of the "crew of the Pythea" given the placement of both subjects. Please fix.
    • reworded the sentence.
  • "Unfortunately for the citizens of Artorias": borderline POV voice; it would be safer to reword without "Unfortunately" or just replace this clause altogether.
    • fixed.
  • "Kaye pretended to be subservient to Sha'kel to learn more about her captors, but Arbeloa realized her plan and concluded she was a formidable warrior herself." I don't quite understand the use of "but" here, since there doesn't seem to be any sort of direct contradiction.
    • reworded. Basically, Arb wasn't fooled by her although everyone else was. If you still think I need to change it more, let me know and I'll attempt to rephrase it.
  • "Sha'kel would be sending more of the ship's guards to the planet": I assume "planet" referring to Artorias, but it would be helpful to the reader to be more specific here, since it isn't immediately clear.
    • reworded.
  • "Captivity" should explain closer to the beginning of the section that Arbeloa was physically restrained aboard the Tsam P'ah, since it doesn't become clear until later on.
    • added.
  • Currently, the article refers to Kaye Galfridian by both her first and last names on separate occasions. Please pick one for consistency and stick with it.
    • Ok, I think I fixed all the names, it's either Kaye or her full name to be consistent.
  • On a similar note, sometimes the Heart of Artorias is shortened to just "Heart," though this doesn't seem to be consistent. I would recommend simply using the ship's full name throughout the article.
    • changed all to the full name to be consistent.
  • Article for the revolt aboard the Tsam P'ah?
    • linked.
  • Would Combined Defense Forces of the New Republic be appropriate to pipe-link when you say "New Republic military"?
    • good call, relinked.
  • "but Arbeloa stated wouldn't allow that": something's not right here.
    • oops missed a word, good catch.
  • "a recon force was engaged by a group of Yuuzhan Vong": the passive voice ([x] "was engaged by" [y]) is making this bit rather hard to read. Please adjust the wording (i.e. to [y] "engaged" [x]).
    • reworded.
  • "the leader of the recon mission": article for the leader?
    • created.
  • Also, is there an article for the "Yuuzhan Vong compound" on Dibrook?
    • It's linked earlier in the paragraph, but I reworded to make it more clear to what compound it's referring to.
  • At times, the article appears to be using "destroy" as a synonym for "kill"/"eliminate" (i.e. "destroy the thralls," "Arbeloa and Kaye quickly destroyed them," "saved the prisoners from destruction"), although it doesn't have the exact same meaning when applied to living beings. Please adjust this wording throughout the article.
    • reworded.
  • "He was present at the memorial service that was held later at the mass grave": I don't think it would be out of place to make an article for the memorial service, since we already have a lot of articles on funerals.
    • Yeah I agree, article created and linked.
  • Has an official source directly referred to the "Battle of Shramar" as such? If not, then the battle's name is {{Conjecture}}, and the "Shramar" section quote and image captions cannot capitalize the name as such. Just wanted to make sure it was intentional.
    • Never officially referred to that, so I changed the captions.
  • The "Arb" nickname needs to be mentioned somewhere in the body of the article.
    • Added
      • Per grammar rules, quotation marks need to be outside of punctuation. Please fix. CC7567 (talk) 19:37, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
        • wow that looks totally wrong to my eyes, but it is correct. Fixed.
  • Content needed on the Outer Rim Alliance at the end of the "Shramar" section.
    • added some more information.
  • I would say there's enough information to make a full Equipment section for the article per the Layout Guide, since there's clothing in addition to weaponry.
    • Added and sourced
  • The P&T (or somewhere else in the body) needs to mention his hair and skin color, as they're currently infobox-exclusive.
    • added.
  • "since he did not appear in the second half of the sixteen-page comic and was only mentioned": the "only mentioned" is confusing me, since this doesn't seem to correlate with the Appearances section. What exactly are you trying to say here? Do you mean that he wasn't named yet in these first appearances?
    • Edited the BTS, since it wasn't written by me and the original author obviously wrote it very early on in the series.
      • Please take another look at your changes; there's at least one easily fixable error that's left from your revisions. CC7567 (talk) 19:37, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
        • Added some stuff into the BTS section based on what I've seen in other FA BTS sections, but I am not sure what you're referring to. If you could give me some more details, I'd appreciate it. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 22:19, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
          • I was referring to the "was was released," which I've fixed. CC7567 (talk) 02:05, April 5, 2014 (UTC)
  • The Bts should mention the fact that he had a prominent role in the following Refugees and Revelations story arcs.
    • reworded.
      • It would be helpful to name the issue in which the character was first identified by name, which was previously in the article but got removed after your revisions. CC7567 (talk) 19:37, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
  • For future reference, disambiguation pages such as head and hand should not be linked to in the in-universe parts of an article. Please try to check your links before adding them next time. CC7567 (talk) 02:51, March 2, 2014 (UTC)
El Jefe
  • Intro: "a species of warriors whom the extra-galactic Yuuzhan Vong exterminated around 25 ABY at the start of the Yuuzhan Vong War. He was the sole surviving member of his species following a one-sided engagement against the Yuuzhan Vong" Are the extermination and the "engagement" the same event? If so, you should probably just combine these sentences.
    • reworded.
  • "a potent invasion force from the extra-galactic Yuuzhan Vong species, who were invading the galaxy," The invasion/invading is kinda redundant.
    • reworded.
  • "The crew of the Pythea alerted the planet Artorias, but they were intercepted and attacked by the Yuuzhan Vong fleet.[2] Before their destruction, the crew of the Pythea passed Arbeloa's warning to Dulac, an inhabitant of Artorias. However, Dulac was a Yuuzhan Vong infiltrator and did not warn the populace." So did they alert the planet or not? The first sentence says they did, but the next one suggests that they failed.
    • reworded to make it a little more clear.
  • In your recounting of the revolt on the Tsam P'ah, you go from Arbeloa accompanying Kaye as she confronts Sha'kel to him wearing Sha'kel's skull as a hat, with no mention of what happens in between.
    • It's never shown. Literally, Arb is with Kaye confronting Sha'kel and the next scene has him holding the decapitated head. I don't want to add speculation on what may or may not have occurred "off-camera".
      • Well, you don't even need to speculate. It's obvious. You don't have to go into specifics, but it's clear that Shakel was killed, his head severed and worn as a hat. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:36, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
        • Added some stuff in.
  • Link to the child that Arbeloa saved?
    • created.
  • Same for Arbeloa's father. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:36, April 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • After looking at the page you made for Arbeloa's father, the episode where he died and Arbeloa fled into the forest to avoid dealing with it has to be in this article, and perhaps a note in the P&T as well. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:36, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
    • Added into the P&T. Not really sure where I could add it into the article. It's a one sentence mention without any context. No idea when his father died, if it was related to the Vuuzhan Vong, how old Arb was, etc. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 20:30, April 17, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 14:22, April 18, 2014 (UTC)


Vote to strike Lee's objection (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote Addressed for two months. User has been sporadically active since then. CC7567 (talk) 01:50, September 22, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote 1358 (Talk) 01:51, September 22, 2013 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:38, September 28, 2013 (UTC)
    Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 18:50, December 19, 2013 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote Many unaddressed objections past three weeks old. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 05:09, March 28, 2014 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote JangFett (Talk) 05:09, March 28, 2014 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 14:43, March 28, 2014 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 00:16, April 3, 2014 (UTC)