Wookieepedia:Featured article nominations/11-4D/Legends

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a featured article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Contents

  • 1 11-4D
    • 1.1 (3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)
      • 1.1.1 Support
      • 1.1.2 Object
        • 1.1.2.1 Jangeth
        • 1.1.2.2 Savaged…
        • 1.1.2.3 Attack of the Clone
        • 1.1.2.4 Final Attack
        • 1.1.2.5 Floyd
        • 1.1.2.6 Cav
      • 1.1.3 Comments
    • 1.2 Vote to strike objections by SavageBob (Inq only)

11-4D

  • Nominated by: 501st dogma(talk) 16:02, June 30, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:Here's my last contribution to Barnburner 4, on its last day

(3 Inqs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Good job! Plagueis327 (talk) 18:01, June 30, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 22:36, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
  3. JangFett (Talk) 16:40, August 24, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 00:04, August 28, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Cade Calrayn GalacticRepublicEmblem-Traced-TORkit 20:25, September 15, 2012 (UTC)
  6. Inqvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 11:06, September 18, 2012 (UTC)
  7. My apologies for the abortive review. Summer obligations intervened! ~SavageBOB sig 11:41, September 18, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Jangeth
  • Before I could continue my review, please cut down your intro. It's too long. JangFett (Talk) 15:34, July 1, 2012 (UTC)
    • Better? 501st dogma(talk) 17:09, July 1, 2012 (UTC)
      • To be honest, I know many have their own views on intro sizes, but you could condense the intro to at least three paragraphs. While the article itself is long, the intro does not need to be that long. It has improved the last time I saw it but it could go down even more. JangFett (Talk) 03:29, July 2, 2012 (UTC)
        • Too short now? 501st dogma(talk) 15:28, July 2, 2012 (UTC)
          • It was too short, so I beefed it up a bit. There, I think it's done. 501st dogma(talk) 15:41, July 2, 2012 (UTC)
            • Much better. JangFett (Talk) 19:23, July 2, 2012 (UTC)
  • Specifically the first two bullet points in the affiliation parameter are not government or organizations that usually tend to be in the parameter. In the novel, did it say that 11-4D was affiliated with those two or did he just work/was there?
    • Deleted first two as he worked there/with them
  • Who is Venamis' apprentice and how was he captured?
    • Sorry, I meant Palpainte, Plagueis' apprentice. Fixed.
      • "11-4D later helped Plaguies with his work on the moon of Sojourn, where the Muun let the Venamis, who had been in a comatose state since his capture, die in front of Palpatine and 11-4D, and then brought the Bith back to life by using midi-chlorian manipulation. " This sentence could use some tweaking. Was Plagueis' work to let Venamis die? It does not make sense for 11-4D to help Plagueis and then you later bring in Venamis and say that Plagueis allowed Palpatine and the droid to watch him die. I could do into further detail if you want me to. JangFett (Talk) 15:51, July 3, 2012 (UTC)
        • Elaborated.
  • If the droid is a male, as said in the infobox and the intro, then you could use "he" as a way of describing him in the history section and beyond. Saying "its" sort of contradicts his male programming. Saying "the droid" as a way to describe him is fine, but saying "its" is a problem.
    • I went through the article and changed "it" to "he" for the most part before noming 11-4D, though I might have missed a few instances. I rewent over half the article and only managed to find one "it". If you find a signiificant amount of "it"s in a section, just let me know.
  • "The droid waited for the rest of the crew to return from the Kon'meas Spaceport in the main cabin space of the freighter, which was being held in a refrigerated hangar" I would avoid the usage of "was currently" since it sort of is a tense shift on its own. You could say "was held in," which is what I changed it to.
    • Sorry, did you fix that already, because "currently" is currently not there anymore.
      • Yes, I said that I changed it. :P JangFett (Talk) 15:51, July 3, 2012 (UTC)
        • Missed that. Sorry.
  • "11-4D was only able to dodge them by using the droid's ability to calculate trajectories" This is like the what I said above with "his." By saying "the droid's ability" in this sentence, it sounds like he's using a droid's ability and not his own.
    • Done.
  • "As the freighter reached the coordinates supplied by Plagueis and came out of hyperspace" A ship cannot reach the coordinates. Do you mean destination? I think this could use some tweaking as well. You could mention Plagueis supplied him the coordinates in the previous sentence.
    • Done.
  • I'll continue with "Tracking the force-sensitives" JangFett (Talk) 19:23, July 2, 2012 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 19:53, July 2, 2012 (UTC)
  • "In one of the Sith Lord's laboratories, which was newly outfitted with medical appendages, 11-4D" Could you clarify on who the Sith Lord is? Since you mentioned both Plagueis and Venamis.
    • Done.
  • "The droid's surgical appendages, replaced with a pair of utility arms, 11-4D and Plagueis arrived at Collider," This is like what I had mentioned before. Was "the droid's surgical appendages" separate? Or actually apart of 11-4D? It does not make sense for you to add the surgical appendages in the list if the latter.
    • Better?
  • "As Plagueis was inquiring about a massive winning streak the casino had seen recently, a Kubaz received one, and Plagueis left to check it out. " Received what?
    • Done.
  • "Plagueis and others viewed a databank containing images of gamblers who had broken the bank for numerous casinos" Particularly the "who had broken the bank for numerous casinos" is confusing. What do you mean by that? Did they rob a bank?
    • Better?
  • To keep the POV on the droid, was there any information regarding Plagueis leaving him on Sy Myrth?
    • That's all it said in the book. 501st dogma(talk) 16:10, July 3, 2012 (UTC)
  • Not bad, I'll continue with Further service to Plagueis. JangFett (Talk) 15:51, July 3, 2012 (UTC)
Savaged…
  • The opening sentence of the article strikes me as somewhat awkward. Would it be possible to axe the things bout "named after the droid's model number"? It's wordy, and I don't think it adds much.
    • Axed. 501st dogma(talk) 11:35, July 6, 2012 (UTC)
  • The first meeting between 4D and Palpatine on Chandrilla seems superfluous to the broader narrative of the droid's life. I'd remove it from the intro and merely add a few words about Palpatine being Plagueis's apprentice when you next mention Palps. More later! ~SavageBOB sig 11:27, July 6, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done. 501st dogma(talk) 11:35, July 6, 2012 (UTC)
  • In the bio, what does it mean for a droid to be named after its model number? The way I understand it, the model number is the name.
    • Here's a Forum where I asked that question. Exiled seemed to think it was named after the number it is of the model (11th of the 4D batch for example, though he was not sure. The book says only that he was named after his model number, so should I just leave it like that?
  • The bio jumps back and forth between calling 11-4D "him" or "it." Either should be OK, but it should be used consistently.
    • I orginaly wrote the droid as an "it", before going to "he". Any "it"s you see are the ones that I missed changing the "he".
      • Went through with the find option on the computer and found all the "it"s referring to the droid and changed them. 501st dogma(talk) 16:41, July 6, 2012 (UTC)
  • Maybe combine "Early occupations" with "Meeting the Sith"? It's a bit jarring that the first section sets 11-4D up to be separated from Lah, but that separation doesn't' occur until after a new section header and quote have intervened. It's the same incident that's being described above and below the section break, so I'd combine them into a single section.
    • Done.
  • The fact that Lah confronted the Muun while the others stayed in the main cabin seems to be play-by-play to me. I'd axe the line or simply say that Lah confronted Plagueis and be done with it.
    • Axed the whole thing, as I don't mention Lah again.
  • "was only able to dodge them" -- dodge what, lightsaber strikes or blaster bolts?
    • Done.
  • "After the freighter reached its destination and came out of hyperspace, 11-4D was at the control console when he responded to Plagueis' queries on how the droid became part of the Woebegone's crew" -- Not sure why this is relevant; seems PBP to me. You could just say that during the journey, Plagueis asked about 11-4D's past with the crew or something and be done with it.
    • Better?
  • The bit about the ship being slagged is confusing. Was 11-4D on the ship or not? And why did he record it?
    • Done.
  • The fact that they took an elevator is PBP in my opinion. More later... :) ~SavageBOB sig 15:32, July 6, 2012 (UTC)
    • Axed. Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 16:33, July 6, 2012 (UTC)
  • OK, a bit more: "Plagueis and 11-4D after Palptine killed his parents." The antecedent on "his" isn't clear here.
    • You fixed it right?
  • The paragraph about Palpatine's kidnapping goes on in great detail about a bunch of stuff that doesn't directly concern 11-4D. Could it be pared down at all?
    • Cut a bit out. Is more cutting needed?
  • "The droid came within a meter of Plagueis before he was forced to take himself through a self-diagnosis routine due to the five disks stuck in the droid" I'm not sure what this sentence is saying. What are these five discs and why are they suddenly pertinent?
    • Better?
  • The final paragraph of "Assassination attempt" includes some play-by-play, like 11-4D greeting Palps. Maybe just say 11-4D guided Palps on the Senator's first visit and condense the two points into one.
    • Done.
  • Are the attendees (Ephant Mon and Diva) on Sojourn really important to 11-4D's bio?
    • Done.
  • Who invited them to visit Tatooine? Jabba himself? I'd reword this active voice to indicate.
    • Done
  • The note that they drank wine seems superfluous to the droid's bio in my opinion.
    • Done.
  • "11-4D later shuffled in confusion at this turn of events." What does it mean to shuffle in confusion? I'll get to P&T and BTS next! ~SavageBOB sig 16:11, July 8, 2012 (UTC)
    • That's what it said in the book.... 501st dogma(talk) 22:42, July 13, 2012 (UTC)
    • Objection(s) overridden by Inquisitorius 22:13, August 19, 2012 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • In the intro, did Plagueis actually kill those three apprentices? You say that he tracked them to their various hideouts, but it sounds like more elaboration is needed.
    • Better? I didn't add context to the one on Saleucami, as 11-4D does not help him with that mission.
  • Please fix the context about Palpatine in the intro. The linking as well as the context doesn't come until your second mention of him.
    • Better?
  • I would also recommend introducing Plagueis and Venamis as Sith Lords (or Dark Lord of the Sith, or whatever their proper titles were) in the intro, as that was a fairly important part of who they were. Currently, the only one directly associated with the Sith is Palpatine.
    • Done.
  • More of aesthetics than anything else, but if you can beef up the intro at all, I would recommend doing so. It's looking a tad slim when compared to the size of the rest of the article. Namely more stuff from "Characteristics" would be potentially helpful, like the fact that he was willing to switch masters to Plagueis so easily.
    • Just pointing this out, but I had a much longer intro until Jang told me to cut it done. 501st dogma(talk) 19:20, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • Different reviewers will have slightly different opinions, but the intro can definitely be longer enough to incorporate more detail without getting unwieldy. I can help you decide what to put back in if you need help, but it's much easier to cut down stuff than to add it. CC7567 (talk) 19:48, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
        • Beefed up. I took some content that I previously cut out and re-added it. How's that look?
  • Masculine-programmed should be in the intro and the beginning of the body.
    • It was already in the intro. I've put it in the body as well.
  • Please alternate image placements properly in the article. I'll continue with "Aborah" once these have been fixed. CC7567 (talk) 18:56, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
    • What do you mean by that? Have the images left, right, left, right? 501st dogma(talk) 19:23, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
      • Yes, it helps a lot when viewing the article. CC7567 (talk) 19:48, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
        • Fixed. 501st dogma(talk) 20:57, August 16, 2012 (UTC)
  • The fact that he's a medical droid should be explicitly mentioned somewhere in the intro.
    • Added.
  • Venamis's affiliation to the Sith is again missing in the body, under "Aborah."
    • Added.
  • What is Damask Holdings? Context on this in the bio, please.
    • Done
      • Check your dash usage, or lack thereof. CC7567 (talk) 21:08, August 17, 2012 (UTC)
      • Better?
        • If "InterGalactic Banking Clan allied" is the adjective that you're making, then dash usage needs to be present. Please read the usage of en dashes. CC7567 (talk) 02:58, August 19, 2012 (UTC)
          • Is this better? 501st dogma(talk) 12:45, August 19, 2012 (UTC)
  • The Unidentified Shi'ido isn't linked until very late after his first mention in the body. While I understand the thing about him being a shapeshifter, the article still needs to link to the individual first, and his species later, in this context—even if it's linking it through "Quarren."
    • Fixed.
  • "a Bothan informed them that the Kubaz was leaving the casino": article for the Bothan?
    • Added link. Did not make article, as I'm under the limit currently.
  • "Ithorian superintendent of the Institution": is "Institution" ever capitalized on its own in the novel text? As with the Sy Myrthian Insurrection, it should depend on what the book says. Please check and clarify.
    • Institution is capitalized in the book, so I left it, though I did add "Bedlam" in front.
  • "Later that day, Plagueis lured Lare out into a confrontation with the Jedi, which resulted in the death of the Nautolan." Article for the duel/confrontation?
    • Linked to the article that already existed. 501st dogma(talk) 20:16, August 17, 2012 (UTC)
  • The linking has been rather inconsistent with what I've read so far; underlinking and overlinking are both present, as well as linking to completely irrelevant subjects such as the databank and disambig pages such as apprentice and changeling. Since I gather you haven't had the time yet to check the rest of the article for linking, please do so now before I continue my review. Please also make sure to check all of the pages that you're linking to, so that they don't turn out to be disambigs or other irrelevant subjects. CC7567 (talk) 19:58, August 17, 2012 (UTC)
    • I've looked at the links. Is it better now? 501st dogma(talk) 17:53, August 18, 2012 (UTC)
      • I'll go through specifics when I continue reviewing. CC7567 (talk) 02:58, August 19, 2012 (UTC)
  • Just to make sure that these get fixed, I'm going to list the remaining issues with linking here. Squad, Pau'an, and pilot to be linked; Darth and Padawan are overlinked. Monarch of Naboo also needs to be linked somewhere in regards to Veruna.
    • All done. Thanks for taking the time to find those issues.
  • "and bowed to the Sith Lord's thrall": the use of "thrall" here is a little ambiguous, since one doesn't really bow to one's "power." One can be in one's power while bowing, but not really in the current usage of the word. Please rectify.
    • Switched Trall out for Mastery. I don't remember putting Thrall there originaly, so somone else must have done changed it to that.
  • The beginning of "Assassination attempt" needs to focus on 11-4D more, as he's the subject of the article. This can be fixed by making sure to mention where 11-4D and Plagueis were, and what they were doing there, before you say that Palpatine contacted them.
    • Better? I flipped some stuff. 501st dogma(talk) 16:35, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
  • "One month later, 11-4D, now fully repaired, escorted Palpatine during his first visit to Aborah, and led the Sith to where Plagueis awaited." This time jump follows the direction of the novel more than it follows 11-4D. His being repaired should be the first thing that you mention, before showing Palpatine's first visit to Aborah.
    • Fixed.
  • "Perhaps your enemies intelligence that their attack plan had been compromised."" Something's wrong with this quote; please check it against the novel.
    • Argg. There. Done.
      • Something's wrong with your additions. Please make sure to be more careful when addressing objections. CC7567 (talk) 23:19, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
        • Stupid typo. Fixed.
  • In some places throughout the article, referring to Plagueis as 11-4D's "master" gets a bit overused. Can you vary up the word choice? It doesn't have to be for every single usage of "master," but some places can be adjusted.
    • changed a couple of them up.
  • "11-4D became a liaison between his master and the Sun Guards, relaying his master's requests": is there evidence that Plagueis, prior to this, conferred directly with the Sun Guards? If applicable, that would be a good detail to mention here.
    • Done.
  • "on Sojourn slowly fell into a shambles": please check this.
    • Fixed
  • "while the once-grand residence on Sojourn slowly fell into a shambles. Twenty years after the attack": I realize that the novel jumps forward a lot in time, but that doesn't mean that this article has to. I would recommend looking at this time transition, as well as all of the others throughout the article, to see what you can do to make the "unknown" blocks of time less abrupt. For example, for this passage you could instead say, "while the once-grand residence [...] deteriorated over the next twenty years," instead of mentioning the twenty-year passage after the fact. Please see what you can do.
    • I changed the time transition a bit. Is the time transition by the Yincorri part okay?
  • Also, the fact that there was a residence on Sojourn comes out of the blue; it needs to be clarified more in regards to Plagueis and 11-4D. Is this were Plagueis and/or 11-4D stayed when they were on Sojourn? Whatever details are relevant, please add them to the article.
    • Better.
  • It would be ideal to mention the Rule of Two when Palpatine first becomes the apprentice to Plagueis. That would also mean explaining a bit how Maul wasn't really part of the Rule of Two, but that can be mentioned in the article without taking too much room.
    • Added.
  • "Later that day, 11-4D entered Plagueis's study as the two Sith were talking of their plans." Since there isn't a really significant result of 11-4D entering the study, it might be good to remove this sentence altogether; it doesn't have much relevance in the article in its current form. If there's detail that can be added to make it more relevant to 11-4D, please do so, but otherwise I would recommend removing it.
    • Deleted.
  • Going back briefly to the intro—"Lare died in a confrontation with two Jedi Knights later the same day": one of them wasn't a Knight. Please rectify.
    • Simplified to just Jedi.
  • The "Master" in the "Death of the Master" section name shouldn't be capitalized; "Master" was a title that Plagueis held, but only as a Sith Lord and thus not over 11-4D. Please fix.
    • Fixed.
  • "Plagueis and 11-4D watched from afar": specifically, where in the warehouse were they? That would be good to mention if it's known.
    • It wasn't a warehouse. Palpatine and Maul were on the balcony, though is doesn't say where 11-4D and Plagueis were.
  • Please split up the long sentence that begins "Death of the Master." Directly clarifying that Amidala succeeded Veruna would also be helpful.
    • Take a look at that.
  • "11-4D later used his knowledge of shapeshifting species to identify the first Force-sensitive as a Shi'ido." The first Force-sensitive what? Some context is needed here, given that this is a different section from the biography.
    • Fixed. 501st dogma(talk) 18:44, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
  • "When Plagueis was killed by Palpatine, 11-4D tried to treat the Muun for his injuries, but was motioned not to by the Senator, and later called Palpatine master. However, after the change of masters, 11-4D shuffled in confusion at this turn of events." The first sentence is a bit long, and it sounds like the last part can be merged with the second somehow. Please reword.
    • Better?
  • "and knew that if Plagueis attempted to contact Naat Lare on Abraxin": contact how, specifically? Through the Force?
    • Better?
  • "Luceno comented that 11-4D was present when Anakin Skywalker was fitted with Darth Vader's armor": even though this is in the Bts, it still needs proper context. Who's Skywalker? Who's Vader? Where was this scene from?
    • Done.
      • The Bts section is riddled with several typos. Please check here and the rest of the article for typos. CC7567 (talk) 23:19, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
        • Typos killed.
  • Since the Facebook Q&A isn't linked to in the article, it can't be treated as self-sourcing in the current version of the Bts. I would encourage you to cite it using {{WebCite}}, which would also necessitate you sourcing the rest of the Bts.
    • Done.
      • The "date" field should be known, so please fill in that parameter. CC7567 (talk) 23:19, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
        • I think that's done.
  • "This article assumes 11-4D has masculine programming, although Darth Plagueis refers to the droid as male relatively few times compared with how many times 11-4D is called 'it.'" Could you reword this somehow? It needs to be made clear why the article "assumes" that 11-4D has masculine programming, as the connection between that and the multiple references to 11-4D as "him" vs. "it" isn't very clear, with how the sentence is currently worded. It should say something along the lines of, "Because Darth Plagueis refers to 11-4D as male, this article assumes that 11-4D has masculine programming despite the fact that [blah blah blah]."
    • Better?
  • Pretty good for your first FAN. Please make sure to go through the changes that I made during my copy-edit; if you have questions about why I modified certain things, I'd be happy to answer them to make sure that you understand the reasons behind them. I'll go through the article a bit more after you fix the above objections. CC7567 (talk) 22:13, August 19, 2012 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the review. On your copyedit, you changed "Plagueis'..." to "Plagueis's...". I thought you could use either one. 501st dogma(talk) 20:41, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
      • It's solely a stylistic preference, not policy; I automatically use "'s," but you're welcome to change them back if you feel otherwise. CC7567 (talk) 23:19, August 20, 2012 (UTC)
        • No, its ok. 501st dogma(talk) 11:44, August 21, 2012 (UTC)
Final Attack
  • In what way was 11-4D affiliated with the Republic? The infobox lists this, but the article doesn't directly clarify it.
    • I removed it from the infobox, as technically, 11-4D was not directly affiliated with the Republic.
  • If the Woebegone had a reputation in the Auril sector (I'm assuming that's where they primarily worked, then), that would be some very handy info to mention prior to the trip to Bal'demnic and the stowaway. It would serve to indicate where the Woebegone primarily operated, and what 11-4D might have been doing prior to Bal'demnic.
    • Better?
  • "Plagueis supplied 11-4D with new coordinates for the ship and forced the droid to set the course; he also ordered 11-4D to prepare food and drink for him, and to tend to a wound that he had received on Bal'demnic." It needs to be clarified directly somewhere here or close to here that Plagueis became 11-4D's new master.
    • Done.
  • In "Aborah," who, specifically, is Larsh Hill? Saying that he's "elderly" doesn't really suffice as context here.
    • Contexted.
  • At the beginning of "Tracking the Force-sensitives," it sounds like it would be helpful to mention why exactly Venamis attacked Plagueis, and thus why Venamis was looking at six potential apprentices; it's not very clear, especially since the Rule of Two hasn't been introduced yet. It might mean that you have to mention Darth Tenebrous as well.
    • Is that better? I think that answers the questions. 501st dogma(talk) 19:35, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
  • "since Plagueis had sensed the Kubaz using the Force to cheat": is this Force sense? If so, it needs to be linked here instead of later in "Assassination attempt," as is currently the case.
    • Linked.
  • "suggesting that the gambler was in fact the Shi'ido whom Venamis had been tracking": this part is a tad confusing. It hasn't been made clear yet that Venamis was tracking a Shi'ido, so this kinda comes out of the blue. I would suggest rewording "the Shi'ido" to something along the lines of "another Force-sensitive, a Shi'ido" to make it clearer.
    • I'm not sure what you mean by that. Earlier in the paragraph I state that 11-4D thinks they're tracking a Shi'ido. Also, the Shi'ido is indeed the Quarren. I've made it a bit clearer that they are one and the same.
      • The thing that's unclear is if Venamis knew he was tracking a Shi'ido, and thus if a Shi'ido was on Plagueis's and 11-4D's original list of three Force-sensitives. Currently, the article presents the three alive Force-sensitives as being a Quarren, an Iktotchi, and a Nautolan, but "whom Venamis had been tracking" indicates that the Shi'ido is an entirely different person from those three, which doesn't seem to be true. The main thing I'm trying to get at is if Venamis knew that the Quarren was actually a Shi'ido, which will affect how this is worded in the article. Could you clarify this so that I can help you reword if necessary? CC7567 (talk) 21:52, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
        • The book does not say if Venamis knew. However, since the databanks revelead the Shi'ido as a Quarren, we can assume Venamis did not. I've changed a bit. How's that? 501st dogma(talk) 22:31, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
  • The Shi'ido's relationship with Santhe isn't quite clear. Was he hired/affiliated somehow? Please clarify.
    • I added a bit about the affiliation, but there's not much in the book that says if he is hired or not.
  • "On their starship": is an article appropriate here?
    • Added link, didn't create as I'm still under the limit.
  • "Master and apprentice discussed the progress of the Sith Grand Plan": the Grand Plan needs to be linked and mentioned much, much earlier somewhere, where it's first relevant.
  • "Soon after the invasion commenced, Plagueis and 11-4D watched from afar as Palpatine tasked his apprentice, Maul": I realize that we don't know where Plagueis and 11-4D were, but where are Palpatine and Maul? We know at least that they're on Coruscant, if I'm correct, and that doesn't get mentioned.
    • Palps and Maul are on a balcony of a building on Coruscant. Added.
  • Looking at the Bts quote, it might also be good to mention Luceno's hypothesizing that 11-4D was in Labyrinth of Evil, since he wrote that too. CC7567 (talk) 20:07, August 21, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done. Thanks for the thorough review CC7567. 501st dogma(talk) 21:37, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
      • "as they neared Palpatine's secret lair": where is this, specifically? Coruscant? Somewhere else? CC7567 (talk) 21:52, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
        • There, done. 501st dogma(talk) 22:31, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
Floyd
  • Intro: Context for the Order of the Canted Circle, same thing in the body.
    • Better?
  • Intro: You should probably mention beforehand Plagueis' search for immortality.
    • Done.
  • "bombed Sojourn with a nuclear bomb," Vary up the word choice.
    • Done.
  • Intro: Context on "Plagueis' enemies".
    • Better? 501st dogma(talk) 12:50, August 27, 2012 (UTC)
  • You aren't consistent on your capitalization of senator.
    • Fixed.
  • Meeting the Sith: "The Togruta eventually retrofitted 11-4D's specialized medical appendages to more suit the tasks found on the ship." Such as...?
    • The books doesn't clarify.
  • More context on the Grand Plan. What did it hope to accomplish?
    • Better?
  • Sojourn: Any context of Plagueis' betrayal of Veruna?
    • Done.
  • Do you think that both possible appearances of 11-4D proposed by Luceno warrant being listed in the Appearances section? With a {{Pos}} of course. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 22:52, August 26, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done. Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 17:54, August 27, 2012 (UTC)
Cav
  • In 52 BBY, 11-4D was at Plagueis's side in the Fobosi District on the planet Coruscant when they survived an attack by Maladian assassins, hired the enemies Plagueis had made over the years by negatively affecting them with his plans, while attending the initiation of the Muun Larsh Hill into the exclusive social Order of the Canted Circle. Bit of a run, missing a word or two. Please consider revising/ breaking up. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 12:31, September 12, 2012 (UTC)
    • Better? 501st dogma(talk) 20:19, September 12, 2012 (UTC)
      • I rejigged it a little to scan better. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 11:06, September 18, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Featured article by Inquisitorius 11:47, September 18, 2012 (UTC)

  • Sorry for the delay dogma. I'm waiting for Bob to finish up his review. JangFett (Talk) 04:38, August 6, 2012 (UTC)
    • Bob's gone on vacation until the 25th of August, so feel free to pass him in the reviewing process. 501st dogma(talk) 12:37, August 10, 2012 (UTC)
  • Realized this post-vote, but the "publisher" field is known and needs to be filled in for the {{WebCite}} citation. CC7567 (talk) 22:37, August 22, 2012 (UTC)
    • Got that fixed. 501st dogma(talk) 22:46, August 22, 2012 (UTC)

Vote to strike objections by SavageBob (Inq only)

  1. Inqvote Bob's objections have been addressed since July 13. 1358 (Talk) 13:45, August 10, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote CC7567 (talk) 20:04, August 10, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:53, August 11, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Inqvote—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 18:08, August 18, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Do we need five votes? IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 22:39, August 18, 2012 (UTC)
    • Yep. CC7567 (talk) 22:13, August 19, 2012 (UTC)