Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Unidentified musical composition (LoBue Cantina)

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

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Object

Axinal
- Before I give a more thorough review, I think you ought to reread the article and fix up some of the run-on sentences, punctuation, and overall general grammar. For example, I'm sure the comma following 9 ABY was intended to be a period, but the sentence after that is entirely too long. I suggest cutting it down and then proofreading the entire article for other run-ons and punctuation errors.—Axinal ^{Convocation Chamber} 19:31, July 3, 2011 (UTC)
  - Better?--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 19:49, July 3, 2011 (UTC)
    - ~~Much better, thank you. My only other problem is with the title, which I find to be a little too generic. What do you think about moving the page to Unidentified musical composition (Lobue Cantina)?~~
      - I moved it to Unidentified musical composition (LoBue Cantina). (It is called LoBue in the book.)--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 22:18, July 3, 2011 (UTC)
        Yeah, my mistake. Nice work!—Axinal ^{Convocation Chamber} 03:43, July 4, 2011 (UTC)
Women-kooroo
- ~~Why is Han called a former General? He's still a Captain at this time.~~
  - Oops! Fixed...--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 15:20, July 10, 2011 (UTC)
- "A piece of music was played from a recording" seems a little grammatically awkward. Can you reword it to be a little cleaner? Menkooroo 15:14, July 10, 2011 (UTC)
  - Better?--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 15:20, July 10, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Just a little something I found while reading Heir to the Empire.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 16:13, July 3, 2011 (UTC)