Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Unidentified battle (Vagaari)

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified battle (Vagaari)

• Nominated by: Samonic 09:32, 27 June 2022 (UTC)
• Nomination comments:
• WookieeProject (optional): Chiss, Novels

(3 ECs/0 Users/3 Total)

(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

1. Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 06:18, 26 July 2022 (UTC)
2. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 16:02, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
3. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 22:37, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

Object

Commander Code-8

• The first sentence will flow better if you move the date to a different spot, either at the start or after introducing the combatants
• Infobox exclusives: Unknown Regions, Chiss Ascendancy
• Please use Category:Battles in the Unknown Regions
• Star Wars Legends always needs to be formatted as Star Wars Legends
• There's no reason to be linking Vagaari with the phrase gravity-well projector, as you've done in the main body and the Bts Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 08:25, 25 July 2022 (UTC)
  • All done. Samonic 10:41, 25 July 2022 (UTC)

Manoof

• The use of "eventually" in the previous field is counter-intuitive, does the word need to be here? Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 06:32, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Removed. Samonic 07:30, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
• The use of "first" in that opening sentence is a bit clunky, do you mind rephrasing it to align better with the BTS, maybe "between the Vagaari pirates and Chiss Ascendancy Senior Captain Mitth'raw'nuruodo "Thrawn", the first of several battles fought between the pirates and Chiss captain", moving the rest of the sentence into a separate sentence. Alternatively a similar tweak could be made when you say the battle commenced Thrawn's operations against the pirates (ie that it was the first battle in Thrawn's campaign). Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 06:32, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
  • We don't really know if there were several battles, there could have been one, and then Thrawn stealing stuff, or two battles. Also, I don't see much issue with the opening sentence, at the minute? It makes sense, it isn't too long, nor is it confusing in my opinion. Samonic 07:30, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
    • The BTS says its the first clash between Thrawn and the pirates, here it isn't as clear. It could mean anything—first time Thrawn captained in battle, first battle of the fleet, etc. Currently it almost reads that it is the first battle of the region. Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 08:55, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
      • Addressed. Samonic 09:42, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
• Context for Grysk Manoof (he/him/his) (talk) 06:32, 29 July 2022 (UTC)
  • Added. Samonic 07:30, 29 July 2022 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Comprehensive article by EduCorps 22:39, 29 July 2022 (UTC)