Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Mamkoda

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Mamkoda

  • Nominated by:--DarthRuiz30 (talk) 21:26, April 16, 2018 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: First CA nom

(3 ECs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 20:20, April 17, 2018 (UTC)
  2. ECvote Nice work! Imperators II(Talk) 08:01, April 26, 2018 (UTC)
  3. ECvote First the CAN, then the world. 1358 (Talk) 13:59, April 28, 2018 (UTC)
  4. Cwedin(talk) 14:22, April 30, 2018 (UTC)
  5. ECvote Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:53, May 6, 2018 (UTC)

Object

Tommy
  • What type of book is bomber command?
    • That's a good question, I always thought that they were reference books like Rebel Files, Jedi Path book, but recently the Studio fun books including this one was moved from the source to the appearances section. Its a replica journal, but I'm pretty sure its not a novel. Any suggestions to how to describe it? Maybe "in the the 2017 replica journal canon book The Last Jedi: Bomber Command"
      • Yeah that sounds good.
        • Added
  • I think you should mention the pirate's base earlier, and then go onto the weapons smuggling. Something like "In 34 ABY, a group of pirates operating in the cassander sector had a base on Mamkoda. After the first order..."
    • Mentioned earlier now
  • "After the Resistance learned that the First Order was supplying weapons to the pirates in an attempt to take control of the sector…" Who was attempting to take control of the sector, the FO or the pirates?
    • Mentioned
  • Could you say these events occur in the Cold War?
    • Mentioned
  • Battle of Mamkoda seems to have a lot of info on the resistance's forces. Could you give a bit more detail on the battle—maybe just say with a group of resistance bombers and A-wings, unless you can give a tad more detail on the battle. Nothing too much, but a bit of context. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 18:58, April 17, 2018 (UTC)
  • "Their first target in the sector was to destroy the pirate base in Mamkoda, which later during a battle with the pirates the Resistance forces were able to destroyed.[1]" This honestly doesn't make sense.
    • I think I've fixed it
      • Okay, I've made some small changes to improve the flow. Make sure you're happy with them. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 20:20, April 17, 2018 (UTC)
  • You seems to repeat "sector" at lot. Try and spice it up with some variation. Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 19:25, April 17, 2018 (UTC)
  • Congrats on your first CAN! Tommy Imperial Emblem Macaroni 16:28, April 17, 2018 (UTC)
Imperators
  • Please find a way to break up the body into two paragraphs. Imperators II(Talk) 06:21, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
  • "The Battle of Mamkoda takes place shortly before the Atterra campaign" — source?
  • "which takes place during the events of Star Wars: Episode VII The Force Awakens" — source? Imperators II(Talk) 06:21, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
  • The date ref uses two consecutive clauses using "which," please reword. Imperators II(Talk) 06:21, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
  • Just checking: does the source actually say "in Mamkoda"? Imperators II(Talk) 06:21, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
    • This is what the book says "Our first target was Mamkoda where the pirates seized a spaceport" --DarthRuiz30 (talk) 06:54, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
      • Well, I'd interpret Mamkoda as being an astronomical object (you already do, too, by placing the article within the relevant category), so you should just go ahead and change to "on Mamkoda." Imperators II(Talk) 07:15, April 26, 2018 (UTC)
  • Context for Resistance and First Order. Imperators II(Talk) 06:21, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
    • Added--DarthRuiz30 (talk) 06:43, April 26, 2018 (UTC)
      • Be careful with the referencing. Right now it implies that Bloodline says the events on Mamkoda happened during the cold war. Imperators II(Talk) 07:15, April 26, 2018 (UTC)
      • Also now we need context for Leia. Imperators II(Talk) 07:15, April 26, 2018 (UTC)
        • Not sure of how much context should be added for Leia. I just added rebel hero, but it might not be enough--DarthRuiz30 (talk) 07:31, April 26, 2018 (UTC)
          • Wasn't she a New Republic Senator by that time? If she was, I'd use that instead. Imperators II(Talk) 07:37, April 26, 2018 (UTC)
  • "as an answer to the threat they sent" — who's "they", the Resistance or the First Order? And in either case, both of those groups should be referred to using singular pronouns. Imperators II(Talk) 06:21, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
  • "first target in the region" — any information whatsoever on the next targets? Imperators II(Talk) 06:21, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
    • The book just mentions Mamkoda as the first target. There's two missions after it, but no mention of them being a target--DarthRuiz30 (talk) 06:52, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
  • It seems to me there's enough articles to create Category:Trans-Hydian Borderlands. Imperators II(Talk) 06:21, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
  • You date the establishment of the pirate base to 34 ABY, but in the date ref you talk only about the subsequent battle. Imperators II(Talk) 06:27, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
    • Ref now refers only to the battle--DarthRuiz30 (talk) 06:43, April 26, 2018 (UTC)
  • If the Battle of Mamkoda happened before an event that was concurrent to TFA, it might have happened in, say, 33 ABY. Safer to use "around 34 ABY," or, if you're talking about the establishment of the base at an unknown point prior to or during 34 ABY, then you can use "by 34 ABY." Imperators II(Talk) 06:27, April 23, 2018 (UTC)
    • The missions in the sector took place shortly before Aterra, First was Mamkoda, three days later Caraxl and immediately after Sheh Soahi. After they finished they immediately returned to D'Qar and the Aterra campaign starts per the book, but I can change the placement of the battle to around. --DarthRuiz30 (talk) 06:52, April 23, 2018 (UTC)

Comments