Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Dorvalla

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Dorvalla

• Nominated by: Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 21:36, May 3, 2020 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Back to "Inbrief" we have Dorvalla.

(3 ECs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

1. Fan26 (Talk) 15:22, May 8, 2020 (UTC)
2. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:44, May 9, 2020 (UTC)
3. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 14:30, May 9, 2020 (UTC)
4. Zed42 (talk) 21:03, May 9, 2020 (UTC)
5. TK-462 (talk) 18:49, May 10, 2020 (UTC)

Object

TK

• "at some point by the year 0 BBY. The company's Captain Micha Evon soon noticed that Brand, another soldier of the Sixty-First, hovered around those recruits." What are you trying to say here? TK-462 (talk) 01:12, May 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • It's to do with Evon realising that Brand had stopped keeping her distance from soldiers and was now hanging about with these recruits, if that makes sense. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 07:25, May 4, 2020 (UTC)
    • Ah, makes sense. For some reason I was really having a hard time with the way that sentence was worded. Excuse my ignorance, lol. TK-462 (talk) 13:53, May 4, 2020 (UTC)

Fan

• "in an attempt to make her stay" I think "while trying to convince her to stay" would work better here. Fan26 (Talk) 04:21, May 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • Done. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 07:25, May 4, 2020 (UTC)
• I know Brand was initially a bounty hunter who infiltrated the company to kidnap Captain Evon. However, the article just describes her as a soldier and then later says she tried to take out a bounty. Please provide more context for Brand so this isn't as confusing. Fan26 (Talk) 13:04, May 7, 2020 (UTC)
  • Sorted. She was there to kill him by the way. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 14:47, May 7, 2020 (UTC)

Zed

• For more clarity, I think Brand being a bounty hunter should be specified upon her first mention. Zed42 (talk) 20:05, May 9, 2020 (UTC)
  • How does it look. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 20:20, May 9, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

• I wouldn't constitute this as an objection, but is there any reason why Brand hovered around the recruits from Dorvalla, and could it be added to the article? I think once you fill in the gaps with the typo this will be resolved, but it seems rather abrupt right now. TK-462 (talk) 01:11, May 4, 2020 (UTC)
  • Changed the word now. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{(Hello there)} 07:26, May 4, 2020 (UTC)

Approved as a Comprehensive article by EduCorps 20:43, May 14, 2020 (UTC)