Wookieepedia:Comprehensive article nominations/Beilert Valance's grandfather

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Comprehensive article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Beilert Valance's grandfather

• Nominated by: UberSoldat93 (talk) 17:01, February 15, 2020 (UTC)
• Nomination comments:

(4 ECs/0 Users/4 Total)

Support

1. Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 17:07, February 16, 2020 (UTC)
2. —spookywilloww^talk 19:57, February 16, 2020 (UTC)
3. Zed42 (talk) 10:03, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
4. Fan26 (Talk) 14:43, February 17, 2020 (UTC)

Object

Anil

• Could you please add that Valance and/or his father were humans, which would hint to readers that the grandfather was also probably human?
• By reading that section of the comic, is it fair to assume that the grandfather was dead at that point?
• Since the father says they worked in those mines for generations, I believe it's fair to assume that Chorin is the homeworld of the grandfather as well. What do you think?
• Could you please slightly reword the text with the grandfather being the main focus of the article? I mean, I believe all that centuries-long mining and slavery stuff should be introduced before Valance's conversation, in chronological order. You can then just say something like "sometime after the Empire liberated/occupied Chorin, Valance asked his father blah blah." Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 00:01, February 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Addressed, but I'm skeptical about objection 2 since that quote is the only mention of the grandfather. UberSoldat93 (talk) 07:13, February 16, 2020 (UTC)
    • Since Valance's grandfather is not mentioned Target Vader 5, I think you should create a reference note to source his homeworld in the infobox. Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 16:54, February 16, 2020 (UTC)

Spooky

• Is the illustrator necessary in the BtS, given the grandfather is only mentioned?—spookywilloww^talk 19:52, February 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • Given the recently nominated CT-720, BT-823, and Kolivo, you don't need the illustrator if the subject is only mentioned. UberSoldat93 (talk) 19:55, February 16, 2020 (UTC)

Zed

• "…like generations of the Valance family before him who did so for centuries. The people of the world had mined their homeworld's hills for generations as slaves …" I feel like this repetition of "generations" is unnecessary. You can probably combine the mention of the Valance family being miners for centuries with the other sentence. Zed42 (talk) 20:25, February 16, 2020 (UTC)
  • How does it look now? UberSoldat93 (talk) 08:41, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
• The body currently doesn't specify that Chorin was his homeworld. Zed42 (talk) 09:59, February 17, 2020 (UTC)
  • Added. UberSoldat93 (talk) 10:02, February 17, 2020 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Comprehensive article by EduCorps 00:43, February 18, 2020 (UTC)