- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Zenhai
- Nominated by: DarthRevan1173
(Long live Lord Revan) 23:14, September 5, 2013 (UTC) - Nomination comments:For Project Novels
(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
CC7567 (talk) 01:41, October 21, 2013 (UTC)- Thefourdotelipsis (talk) 05:32, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
- Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 06:44, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
Sir Cavalier of One(Squadron channel) 09:09, October 21, 2013 (UTC)- JangFett (Talk) 19:21, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
Object
Cav
Is the fog the main reason why the mission has to be undertaken? If so, this fact should be mentioned earlier. - Sir Cavalier of One
(Squadron channel) 09:50, September 11, 2013 (UTC)
- Not that I know of however I may be interpreting the story wrong. As far as I can tell the fog only affects the starfighters finding the base which forces the squad to mark it with targeting beacons. DarthRevan1173 (Long live Lord Revan) 00:41, September 12, 2013 (UTC)
- So the beacons have to be placed for the starfighters to attack, so how if the fog not the be the catalyst that causes the mission? - Sir Cavalier of One(Squadron channel) 21:02, September 23, 2013 (UTC)
- Re-reading the story it doesn't say the main reason the mission is undertaken is cause of the fog, but only to destroy the spaceport. When they reached it Malcom broke out the beacons and says "Beacons charged and ready. Plant them on the targets and the fog won't matter." It seems to me they break out the beacons only because of the fog, but it's not the reason the mission was undertaken. DarthRevan1173 (Long live Lord Revan) 23:42, September 23, 2013 (UTC)
- Re-reading the story it doesn't say the main reason the mission is undertaken is cause of the fog, but only to destroy the spaceport. When they reached it Malcom broke out the beacons and says "Beacons charged and ready. Plant them on the targets and the fog won't matter." It seems to me they break out the beacons only because of the fog, but it's not the reason the mission was undertaken. DarthRevan1173
- So the beacons have to be placed for the starfighters to attack, so how if the fog not the be the catalyst that causes the mission? - Sir Cavalier of One
Attack of the Clone
The first sentence of the intro and Bio are a bit too similar. Please reword one of them.- Reworded, hows it look.
Any relevant images?Is there any other info from the story that you can use to expand the article? At one point, Immel asks Zenhai and the others to report in. Also, you might consider mentioning the other known squad members by name in the Bio.- Mentioned squad members and the check in. The rest of the info doesn't pertain to him so I would say no, but I can expand on what Malcom and Immel's doing if you want.
- If you feel anything else should be added, then please do so, since you've written enough articles by now to have a good sense of what's relevant info and what's not. I'll strike this objection and leave it up to you to decide if anything else is needed. CC7567 (talk) 00:33, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
- Added context on what happens to Malcom.
- If you feel anything else should be added, then please do so, since you've written enough articles by now to have a good sense of what's relevant info and what's not. I'll strike this objection and leave it up to you to decide if anything else is needed. CC7567 (talk) 00:33, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
- Mentioned squad members and the check in. The rest of the info doesn't pertain to him so I would say no, but I can expand on what Malcom and Immel's doing if you want.
I would advise expanding the Bts to explain Zenhai's "voice only" appearance—e.g. the story focuses on Malcom and Immel, and Zenhai is one of the other soldiers who reports in to Immel, or something like that. It'll help the reader to better understand Zenhai's appearance in the story.CC7567 (talk) 18:14, October 20, 2013 (UTC)- Done. DarthRevan1173 (Long live Lord Revan) 22:11, October 20, 2013 (UTC)
- There's enough information to warrant starting a new sentence, instead of lumping the new info inside dashes. I'd recommend removing the "voice only" part from the first sentence (so that it reads, "Zenhai first appeared in…" and then starting another sentence with the new info. CC7567 (talk) 00:33, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
- Done. DarthRevan1173 (Long live Lord Revan) 01:08, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
- While fixing objections, you still need to double-check as you go to make sure that linking is adjusted as appropriate. There's at least one link that needs to be added in your recent additions. Please also make sure to do this in the future. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
- Didn't realize I missed one, thought I linked everything. I think I got it now unless I'm overlooking something. DarthRevan1173 (Long live Lord Revan) 01:39, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
- Didn't realize I missed one, thought I linked everything. I think I got it now unless I'm overlooking something. DarthRevan1173
- While fixing objections, you still need to double-check as you go to make sure that linking is adjusted as appropriate. There's at least one link that needs to be added in your recent additions. Please also make sure to do this in the future. CC7567 (talk) 01:26, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
- Done. DarthRevan1173
- There's enough information to warrant starting a new sentence, instead of lumping the new info inside dashes. I'd recommend removing the "voice only" part from the first sentence (so that it reads, "Zenhai first appeared in…" and then starting another sentence with the new info. CC7567 (talk) 00:33, October 21, 2013 (UTC)
- Done. DarthRevan1173
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 19:21, October 21, 2013 (UTC)