Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Yennir of the Green

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Yennir of the Green

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. 501st dogma(talk) 15:28, July 8, 2013 (UTC)
  2. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 02:37, July 11, 2013 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:35, July 18, 2013 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Winterz (talk) 19:15, July 19, 2013 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:56, July 24, 2013 (UTC)

Object

501st
  • The intro and the first part of the bio are practically identical. Please change it up.
    • Changed.
      • A bit more change would be nice. Switch up the words.
        • Hows it look now?
          • I'll accept it, but in the future, write separate intros and bodies. 501st dogma(talk) 23:23, July 7, 2013 (UTC)
  • The intro is too long by my tastes. I would suggest cutting the part about the Corporal dying, as it is unnecessary. Also, consider combining the last two sentences for better flow.
    • Cut and combined.
      • I cut a bit more out. You have this "Three hours after the attack..." still in though. Since you removed mention of the attack, this has to go. 501st dogma(talk) 16:27, July 7, 2013 (UTC)
  • How about a quote? Since you say his voice was the only thing that "appeared" in the book.
    • There is no available quote the story says Yennir and his comrades check in after ordered to by Immel and that Malcom listened in as they did. However it never states what they said.
  • P&T: I would say the Yennir had good eyes, because he could see through fog as if it were glass.
    • Changed.
  • You need to mention the fog in the bio. How does it play a part?
  • I'll be back with more objections once you finish these. 501st dogma(talk) 23:31, July 5, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 10:56, July 24, 2013 (UTC)