Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Yearo Seville

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Yearo Seville

  • Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 18:22, July 27, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Viva Seville and olé!

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Menkooroo 04:04, August 20, 2010 (UTC)
  2. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 21:40, August 22, 2010 (UTC)
  3. ACvote--Tommy 9281 15:53, August 25, 2010 (UTC)
  4. ACvote See my comment below. -- 1358 (Talk) 16:17, August 30, 2010 (UTC)
  5. Mobile-reviewed (: --Tm_T (Talk) 12:33, September 6, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Yearo plenty
  • Does the source state that Yearo and/or his mother were offworld when the freighter crashed into his compound? Either way, a sentence outright stating that he like... didn't die and stuff would be great, as the jump to the next paragraph seems a little jarring without it.
    • Changed. OS doesn't even specify whether the freighter really crashed against the compound or not. Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:42, August 19, 2010 (UTC)
  • Can you create an article for his pirate gang?
  • "Seville was to handle the Shashay to the Empire." --- I wanna sofix this, but I'm not sure if I should change handle to hand, or to to for. Help me!!
  • "from the hands of a deranged Governor Farool, who believed to have disgraced Seville, the Alliance," --- should this be "who was believed? I'm not really sure what the sentence is trying to say.
    • Not exactly; I've reworded it, but I don't want to expand that paragraph too much. It's not that related to Yearo. Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:42, August 19, 2010 (UTC)
  • Is anything known about the battle between the two pirate fleets? Enough to warrant an article on it?
  • Are there no alternate paths for bts to note? Menkooroo 10:51, August 17, 2010 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Please provide context on Braig Farool in the intro.
  • "Afterward, Seville sent the droid": even though you talk about Yearo last before saying this, it isn't clear who "Seville" is referring to. Please clarify somehow.
  • "he believed to have disgraced Seville": something's missing here. "Believe" is a transitive verb, and he therefore has to believe something. CC7567 (talk) 21:13, August 21, 2010 (UTC)
"9281", in a camel's hair overcoat & a fedora…
  • You identify Darion as Yearo's mother in the article but make no such distinction in the intro. It caught me a bit off guard when I came across it.
  • You also link ionize as the means by which Yearo disabled the droid attempting to kill his mother, but nothing I've read states that Yearo was Force-sensitive.
  • In the intro you don't identify the Hutt, which made me wonder if he had a name & if there was an article for him. Then you go on to name him in the body. Please do so in the intro as well for consistency's sake.
  • "At some point, Seville also owned and customized a CRX-Tug; among the customizations, that ship was prepared to accept a one-legged pilot." Is the CRX-Tug the Worthless Fool? If so, please say so outright. The sentence is confusing in its current form.
  • There are several instances of the word "this" which, when used, causes a shift in tense. See if you can rework these, please.
    • Did my best. Part of the problem is, text's talking about a scheme, so future is conditional. See if you like it now. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 04:58, August 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • I understand, I recently ran into the same exact problem myself. It looks good.--Tommy 9281 15:53, August 25, 2010 (UTC)
  • All done, not bad.--Tommy 9281 20:59, August 23, 2010 (UTC)
Xd1358
  • "At some point, Seville also owned and customized a CRX-Tug; among the customizations, that ship was prepared to accept a one-legged pilot." This is a pretty choppy and confusing sentence. Could you make it read smoother?
    • Better? --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:02, August 29, 2010 (UTC)
      • I'm striking this objection, but could you merge the two sentences, like "At some point, Seville also owned and customized a CRX-Tug, which had been prepared to accept a one-legged pilot."?
  • "While the Vallaido fleet was destroyed, a number of Vallaidos survived--including Siro Simito, who joined the Alliance to Restore the Republic." Is Simito joining the Alliance so relevant to Seville?
    • Expanded: If Seville had not annihilated the Vallaido fleet, Simito wouldn't have joined the Alliance. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:02, August 29, 2010 (UTC)
  • That's all. :-) -- 1358 (Talk) 20:44, August 28, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 12:35, September 6, 2010 (UTC)


  • I made the abduction image larger; hope ya don't mind. Menkooroo 10:51, August 17, 2010 (UTC)