Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Yalaran

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Yalaran

  • Nominated by: Eyrezer 07:51, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Low hanging fruit

(4 ACs/2 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ~ SavageBob 02:48, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Kilson Likes PIE(The Bakery) 22:50, April 8, 2011 (UTC)
  3. ACvote—Tommy 9281 Saturday, April 9, 2011, 17:24 UTC
  4. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 20:18, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
  5. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 18:31, April 21, 2011 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 13:05, April 26, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Prepare to be savaged…
  • Just a couple of things. First, the lead claims that the Noghri were sent to Yalara and wiped out the species there. Yet, under "History," this is treated as Luke Skywalker's supposition. Could one be changed to support one version or the other?
    • The speculation is that Vader sent the Noghri, not that the Noghri wiped out the Yalarans. The intro asserts that the Noghri were there but not who sent them or why. Let me know if you still think this needs to be reworked.
      • Yeah, I think it needs more work. What facts are indisputable, and which are Luke's speculation? The current wording makes it sound like Luke speculated that both Vader dispatched the Noghri to kill the Yalarans and that the Noghri did indeed kill the Yalarans. If it's indisputable that the Noghri came to the world and wiped out the Yalarans (despite who did or didn't send them), that fact should be moved out of the speculative portion of the "History" section and placed where it belongs chronologically (before the part about Tionne, probably). ~ SavageBob 23:17, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
        • How about now? --Eyrezer 01:13, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
  • The History repeats the word "Order" quite a few times. Could you replace some with synonyms? ~ SavageBob 21:36, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
    • "Jedi Command"? :P Done.
    • I also removed the 14 ABY date from the S&C section you added as they were primitive at the time that Broden Kel Verdox visited them, but we do not know when this was. --Eyrezer 21:55, March 21, 2011 (UTC)
Graestan
  • An infobox if you please. There's actually more to go in one for this species than for some others who have them. Graestan(Talk) 22:21, March 23, 2011 (UTC)
    • Done. --Eyrezer 01:13, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
      • Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 16:19, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
Nitpicky
  • Nitpicky, but shouldn't the "mentioned only" in the Appearances seciton be changed to "1st mentioned?"
    • Okay. --Eyrezer 20:33, April 1, 2011 (UTC)
  • I noticed in the Bts you have a quote, "dispatched to wipe out the Yalarans guarding the cloaking device." Now, wouldn't that mean that after the cloaking device was built, that the Yalarans began to guard it? If so, shouldn't you put that into the History section.
    • I have added a small sentence to the BTS. I wanted to highlight the error in the BTS, but favor the spoken dialog as it is Luke Skywalker speaking, man! --Eyrezer 20:33, April 1, 2011 (UTC)
      • Sorry, I think I didn't make myself that clear. What I meant was: can not both quotes be true. Couldn't the Yalaran been guarding the cloaking device, and after the Norghi killed them off, the Norghi themselves began guarding it? Kilson 06:09, April 3, 2011 (UTC)
        • Well, the words and the dialog are meant to be the same, yet one matches what is seen in the actual level - the Noghri guarding the cloaking device - while one does not. It therefore seems clear to me that one is a mistake.--Eyrezer 22:45, April 8, 2011 (UTC)
          • Fair enough, I don't want to hold up your nomination just because of such a minor issue. My apologies that this took so long. Kilson Likes PIE(The Bakery) 22:50, April 8, 2011 (UTC)
  • After those two, seems fine. Nice job. Kilson 03:55, March 26, 2011 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • Can you mention that they are a species in the B&A? Currently you only mention that they were sentient.
    • Done. --Eyrezer 10:53, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
  • "The Yalarans were native to Yalara, a planet located in Wild Space…" Should the WS part be sourced to TEA?
    • Added. --Eyrezer 10:59, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
  • "…learned of the planet through a Holocron." Why is "holocron" capitalized?
    • It is capitalised in the original source. --Eyrezer 10:53, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
      • Strange OS. :P 1358 (Talk) 20:18, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
  • Appropriate to link Noghri Death Commando instead of [[Noghri]] [[commando]]?
    • Done. --Eyrezer 10:53, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
  • Will give it another look once the clock is less. :P 1358 (Talk) 20:28, April 11, 2011 (UTC)
    • Thanks for the preliminary review. --Eyrezer 10:59, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
Cav
  • Once the Jedi Order became aware that the planet had been discovered by another organization, - a little info here would be appreciated. Which organization, and how did they learn that the organization had found Yalara? - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:37, April 15, 2011 (UTC)
    • The text that sets the scene is vague and simply says "But now, someone else has discovered Yalara. Go to Yalara and find out if anyone has been there..." From this, my understanding is that Luke dd not know who was on the planet, and it was only once Jaden Korr arrived that this became clear, hence why I have worded it as I have. Let me know if this explanation suffices to overcome you objection. --Eyrezer 10:53, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
QGJ
  • I haven't played Jedi Academy in a while, but as far as I can remember, it's not necessary to complete all the missions to advance the plot. If that's the case, then {{Gamemechanics}} is required in the history section, along with a mention in the Bts that Korr's visit is not 100% canon. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:51, April 20, 2011 (UTC)
    • Tags added, and I also removed a line from the intro which referred to the mission. BTS addition also made. Good catch on this one. --Eyrezer 11:06, April 20, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

  • Not an objection, but I moved the first sentence of the "History" section to the be the first of the preceding section, so that it isn't a single-sentence paragraph, and because that information seems to make more sense in a section titled "Society and culture."—Tommy 9281 Saturday, April 9, 2011, 17:24 UTC
    • Cool. --Eyrezer 08:27, April 11, 2011 (UTC)

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 13:05, April 26, 2011 (UTC)