Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Wieler

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Wieler

• Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 17:56, September 20, 2010 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Part One of my Storm on Khorm project. Qui-Gon gave you the ship, here comes the admiral.

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)

Support

1. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 18:01, September 20, 2010 (UTC)
2. Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 08:11, October 20, 2010 (UTC)
3. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:00, October 20, 2010 (UTC)
4. 1358 ^(Talk) 19:07, October 22, 2010 (UTC)
5. CC7567 ^(talk) 06:19, October 24, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Xd1358

• Could you make the Bts a bit more smooth? It's a bit choppy at the moment.
  • Please try it.
• Ranks should not be capitalized when they are not refering to an individual. (I am refering to "...in the Republic Navy as an Admiral on his flagship...")
  • Fixed.
• 1358 ^(Talk) 19:14, September 20, 2010 (UTC)
  • Thank you. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 17:34, September 21, 2010 (UTC)
• I doubt that comic series should be italicized (Bts).
  • Eh I saw it in this article. Any ideas?
    • Comic series is not italicized in that article AFAIK. Please fix. 1358 ^(Talk) 16:30, September 23, 2010 (UTC)
      • Bah. Fixed.
• You sure that the battle of Khorm can't be linked earlier in the Bio?
  • Fixed.
• "Nevertheless, the Republic forces were able to land several units of ground troops…" Something's wrong there. 1358 ^(Talk) 18:53, September 22, 2010 (UTC)
  • Fixed. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 18:57, September 22, 2010 (UTC)
    • That still doesn't sound right. 1358 ^(Talk) 16:30, September 23, 2010 (UTC)
      • Now it should be fine. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 16:35, September 23, 2010 (UTC)
        • No, it's still not good. The Republic can't land stuff, the Republic stuff can land, if you know what I mean. 1358 ^(Talk) 16:38, September 23, 2010 (UTC)
          • Fixed. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 16:52, September 23, 2010 (UTC)
• "Around 21 BBY, Wieler and his battle group, including Wieler's flagship, the Resilient, were placed under the command of Jedi Generals Kit Fisto and Plo Koon to free the planet Khorm, in order to obtain the valuable agrocite mineral which was found there." Choppy.
  • Better?
• Decide if you use "Separatists" or "Confederacy". Consistency. :P
  • Used "Separatists".
• "…although Wieler tried as hard as he could to prevent it from doing so." Reads rather awkwardly. perhaps "…despite of Wieler's attempts to stop it."?
  • Changed.
• In the intro, you say that Wieler's forces were under the command of the Jedi, but in the body, you say that only the ground forces were.
  • Fixed.
• I think you'll need a new version of the body image. I think that if a speech bubble is completely visible, there needs to be text in it. 1358 ^(Talk) 10:33, October 17, 2010 (UTC)
  • Is that really neccessary? If so I probably replace it with this file (File:Resilient.jpg). Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 15:47, October 17, 2010 (UTC)
    • Yes, it is, per Wookieepedia:Images#Cropping. 1358 ^(Talk) 13:04, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
      • Replaced with the Resilient image, but I asked QuiGon for a better version. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 17:37, October 18, 2010 (UTC)
        • Thanks to QuiGon for the image. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 18:35, October 18, 2010 (UTC)

Cav

• Intro: You should be mentioning the weather station and its ability to create storms when you mention that the CIS created a storm after the Republic's landing, not at the end.
  • Fixed.
• Intro: You mention Ventress broke the blockade, but you haven't established that the Republic fleet set one up. - Cavalier One^{(Squadron channel)} 12:01, October 19, 2010 (UTC)
  • Fixed. Thanks Cav. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 17:10, October 19, 2010 (UTC)

Toprawa

• This is a rather generic, meaningless sentence without some kind of specific examples. Don't be afraid to give us the meat: "Wieler gave his Jedi officers brief statements which were helpful for the ground forces."
  • Please try it now.
• Also, not necessarily an objection, unless you didn't do this accurately, but can you confirm for my sake that the ellipses punctuations in the quotes are exactly as they are formatted in the comic? I only ask because some of the spacing between the ellipses seem rather random. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:49, October 20, 2010 (UTC)
  • Yes, they are. Thanks for the review. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 17:56, October 20, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 06:19, October 24, 2010 (UTC)

• Thanks to QuiGon Jinn and Master Jonathan for the pre-nom previews. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 17:56, September 20, 2010 (UTC)