Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Whip Hand

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Whip Hand

  • Nominated by: 501st dogma(talk) 18:21, September 16, 2014 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: For Jang. Not that he was ever a punishing admin. :P

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:39, October 4, 2014 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:19, October 22, 2014 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:00, October 29, 2014 (UTC)
  4. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 22:48, October 30, 2014 (UTC)
  5. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 03:34, November 1, 2014 (UTC)

Object

Exiled Jedi
  • Can any of the standard Lancer-class frigate information (like length) be added to the article?
    • Bah, forgot to add length. Apologies.
  • The introduction makes it sound like the New Republic captured the ship, but the body shows that this cannot be the case.
    • Tweaked it a bit to make it more clear.
  • Could you section the history section?
  • Is the entire last line of the quote in the history section supposed to be unitalicized?
    • Nope - that's due to forgetting a period and some ''.
  • Does the source say who captured the frigate?
    • The only info we have is that is was captured during the Rebellion.
  • "It and the rest of a New Republic task force waited until the captured Yuuzhan Vong vessel Trickster signaled them before jumping to the star system to make it appear as if they were tailing the frigate and were caught unawares by the Yuuzhan Vong fleet there." Just reading this, it is impossible to tell which frigate is being chased. You never call the Yuuzhan Vong ship a frigate until the pipelink, so it sounds like the Whip Hand is being chased.
    • That should alleviate the confusion.
  • "Following the battle, the New Republic's base was shifted to the planet of Kashyyyk" Shifted from where? You never mentioned a base before this.
    • The book doesn't specifically say.
  • Please break up the first sentence of the second paragraph of the history section.
    • Doesn't the semi-colon do just that currently?
      • Yeah, but the sentence is still really long.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:23, October 19, 2014 (UTC)
        • Not seeing how the sentence is too long. I've got longer ones in the body, namely paragraph one sentence 2.
          • I'm not entirely sure what sentence you are referring to, but I can't see any that are longer than this one. I just don't understand why you need create an unnecessarily long sentence by sticking together two compound sentences with a semicolon.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 22:11, October 21, 2014 (UTC)
            • Pretty sure Im allowed to use the semi-colon as such, but I've broken it into two sentences.
  • Just checking, but was the cruiser damaged during the same battle mentioned earlier?
    • Yep, it took a pounding at Obroa-skai.
      • Could you try and make this more clear. With the mention of shifting the New Republic base, it is hard to tell whether the escort mission was immediately following the battle, which makes it unclear whether the fighting is the previously mentioned battle or simply speaking of the war itself.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:23, October 19, 2014 (UTC)
        • There.
  • Surely there is enough information to say that the frigate had engines in the description and infobox.
    • Added.
  • Could you make it clearer that the New Republic tender was present for the battle before saying it was destroyed?
    • There, tweaked "New Republic ships were attacked" to "three ships were attacked" to clarify that the tender stuck with them.
  • "after Twin Suns Leader Jaina Solo had the frigate modify its position briefly to help in catching the coralskippers unaware" Is there any more information on this?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 14:06, October 13, 2014 (UTC)
    • Added a little more. Thanks for the review, and sorry for the stupid errors (Lancer-length etc). 501st dogma(talk) 15:18, October 13, 2014 (UTC)
      • Does the last part with the Whip Hand hiding Twin Suns Squadron happen first? If so, I think it would be better to mention this first.
        • It does, but that's why I say they make the pass "after" the hiding part happens.
          • I don't see the reason for putting something that happened earlier in the second part of the sentence. It just makes it more confusing to read.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 22:11, October 21, 2014 (UTC)
            • There, switched around. 501st dogma(talk) 01:16, October 22, 2014 (UTC)
  • Intro: "and despite managing to drive the starfighters off with the help of two squadrons of their own" This makes it sound like one of the two ships launced the fighters, which I assume is not the case looking at the body.
    • Tweaked.
  • Does the source say where the shuttle came from?--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 04:23, October 19, 2014 (UTC)
    • Nope. 501st dogma(talk) 13:47, October 19, 2014 (UTC)
Ecks Dee
  • You have two consecutive [2] in the beginning of the History section. Please double-check. 1358 (Talk) 18:40, October 21, 2014 (UTC)
    • Remedied. That was left-over from when I was trying to source the capture of the ship to a more specific time period. Thanks for taking a look. 501st dogma(talk) 19:02, October 21, 2014 (UTC)

Comments