- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Vune Willic
(+5)
Support
- -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 22:29, 29 February 2008 (UTC)
- This thing isn't 1000 words? Toprawa and Ralltiir 01:37, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
- Chack Jadson (Talk) 19:55, 7 March 2008 (UTC)
- Greyman(Talk) 00:22, 11 March 2008 (UTC)
- supergeeky1
The Cantina 00:06, 22 March 2008 (UTC)
Oppose
This is confusing. If he was from Carida, and raised on Carida, what then is his ancestral homeworld? "Vune Willic was brought up on the world of Carida, in the Colonies region of the galaxy, though he never visited his family’s ancestral homeworld"- Addressed.
Reword "homeworld" here. Moving to someplace new doesn't make it a new homeworld, IMO: "Loor allowed Willic several hours to get settled on his new homeworld"- Addressed.
Deducing is kind of a stilted word to use twice in one paragraph. Please reword: "after deducing that his grandfather"- Fixed.
I'm unclear as to his motive here. Did he know he was killing his grandfather? Did the whine tell him that his grandfather was in fact the "Rebel saboteur"? A little more clarification would be good. Any indication that his grandfather really was a Rebel agent? Or was this just a test of him? "As he prepared his sniper rifle, however, he was interrupted by the arrival of Korval. When he pointed the weapon in his grandfather's direction, the rifle began to whine; after deducing that his grandfather was the intended recipient of the rifle's powerful blaster bolt, he fired on his grandfather at close range without hesitation."- Clarified. It's not really clear either way if he was a Rebel or if it was a test; I'd be inclined to say both, but it's not stated or implicitly implied.
I would like to see a little extra added to this. In what capacity did they prove his guilt? In the court of law, for ex? Alone, since they are falsified, they don't prove his guilt, if you understand what I'm saying: "These videos proved that Villic was guilty"- Gotcha. Fixed it up.
Do me a favor and pipelink the correct name of the battle: "After they liberated Coruscant"Toprawa and Ralltiir 07:26, 1 March 2008 (UTC)- Done. Thanks for the review. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 01:10, 2 March 2008 (UTC)
Quote in "Downfall" needs a source. Chack Jadson (Talk) 20:51, 3 March 2008 (UTC)- Whoops. Now sourced -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 21:40, 3 March 2008 (UTC)
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