Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Vollen Sor

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Vollen Sor

• Nominated by: Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 20:39, July 20, 2011 (UTC)
• Nomination comments:Up from CAnom and GA for TOR.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

1. One of these days I'm going to have to get this book.--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 17:22, July 30, 2011 (UTC)
2. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 20:54, July 31, 2011 (UTC)
3. I agree with EJ--Talrrivanian ^{(Headquarters)} 14:18, August 3, 2011 (UTC)
4. Just remember to always capitalize "Padawan," you missed that a couple of times in the article. Kilson^{(Let's have a chat)} 09:04, August 7, 2011 (UTC)
5. 1358 ^(Talk) 09:44, August 9, 2011 (UTC)

Object

• Context on the Alderaan Peace Conference in the intro.
  • How's that?
• Any quotes for the bio or for the P&T?
  • Got some. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 21:46, July 28, 2011 (UTC)
• The phrase "would use to bear a fallen comrade" is used twice. Vary it up.
  • Changed.
• The bio itself is very vague and somewhat confusing. Some context on what exactly Leneer was doing would help clear it up.
  • Ummm, not sure what more could be added to explain what Leneer was doing, but I changed it around a bit.
    • That's my bad, I forgot about the part where it says she was going to avenge her Master. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:01, July 22, 2011 (UTC)
• That's all. IFYLOFD ^{(Floyd's crib)} 01:44, July 21, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thanks for checking it out. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 18:17, July 21, 2011 (UTC)

Kilson

• You should briefly mentioned Leneer's departure in the Intro.
  • Done.
• Also in the Intro, "He was on the planet Alderaan during the Alderaan Peace Conference between the Galactic Republic and the Sith Empire." It's unclear here who "He" is here. I'm guessing it's Sor, but please clarify. Here's a hint for the future, generally don't start sentences with pronouns, but save the pronouns for the middle of the sentence.
  • Alrighty.
• In the Bio, "When Vollen asked her what she was doing, she simply stated that she was doing something for Zallow." I'm a little confused here why you referred to Sor by his first name instead of his surname. Generally, we refer to beings by their surnames if possible, so please change it to Sor unless you have a reason why you didn't.
  • Yea, that was a mistake. I kept getting his first and last names switched around. It was no piece of pie. Oh whoops. Didn't mean to get you hungry. :P
• Otherwise, good job Cal. Kilson^{(Let's have a chat)} 06:20, August 6, 2011 (UTC)
  • Thanks for the review. Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 22:20, August 6, 2011 (UTC)

Ecks Dee

• "Sor had a Rodian Padawan by the name of Keevo. Sor and his Padawan were on the planet Alderaan during the Alderaan Peace Conference between the Galactic Republic and the Sith Empire." Choppy; please merge.
  • Done.
• Why are you capitalizing Alderaan Peace Conference like that? Seems like "peace conference" should be decapitalized since it's a conjectural title.
  • Fixed.
• "During the peace conference, Sor and his Keevo…" Uh, is Keevo his darling or slave or something? Please...fix. 1358 ^(Talk) 20:04, August 8, 2011 (UTC)
  • Heh, meant to say "his Padawan". That didn't sound right. :S Cal Jedi ^{(Personal Comm Channel)} 21:19, August 8, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 09:44, August 9, 2011 (UTC)