- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Vima Sunrider's lightsaber
- Nominated by: —Tommy 9281 Thursday, August 4, 2011, 03:17 UTC
- Nomination comments: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...
(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
- Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 12:42, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
Kilson(Let's have a chat) 13:24, August 4, 2011 (UTC)- ~Savage
15:25, August 4, 2011 (UTC) - Master Jonathan — Jedi Council Chambers Thursday, August 4, 2011, 18:28 UTC
- Nice BtS --Talrrivanian
(Headquarters) 08:47, August 5, 2011 (UTC)
CC7567 (talk) 19:24, August 10, 2011 (UTC)
Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 19:03, August 12, 2011 (UTC)
Object
Kilson
You should probably add a sentence or two to the Intro given how small it is. You could give a brief mention of what Sunrider did with the lightsaber, such as using it in a practice duel or presenting it to her mother.- Addressed
You mention in the Infobox and Intro that the lightsaber was "Standard lightsaber." I'm a little unsure as to what a standard lightsaber is, could you please clarify this. Also, I don't see a mention of the lightsaber being standard in the article's body.- Unnecessary info, removed.
"It was soon afterward presented to her mother, famed Jedi Knight Nomi Sunrider, as a symbol of her excellence as an aspiring Jedi." It's a bit unclear was "It" is referring to, the lightsaber or the precious memento mentioned in the previous sentence.- Addressed.
- Otherwise, keep up the good work Tommy. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 06:05, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
"Vima Sunrider's lightsaber was a standard weapon created in 3,986 BBY by the selfsame Jedi apprentice during her tutelage under Ulic Qel-Droma." The word "selfsame" makes the sentence read slightly awkwardly to me. I pretty sure I know what it means, but using some other wording would make it clearer. Could you word without the word "selfsame"?- Not really, since that is the most perfectly appropriate word to use at that point based on its definition. I refuse to use statements like "Vima Sunrider's lightsaber is a lightsaber created by Vima Sunrider" (or similar) for their obvious redundancy.—Tommy 9281 Thursday, August 4, 2011, 12:31 UTC
- Good point.--Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 12:42, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
- Good point.--Exiled Jedi
- Not really, since that is the most perfectly appropriate word to use at that point based on its definition. I refuse to use statements like "Vima Sunrider's lightsaber is a lightsaber created by Vima Sunrider" (or similar) for their obvious redundancy.—Tommy 9281 Thursday, August 4, 2011, 12:31 UTC
Please mention Arca Jeth by name in the article.- Addressed.
Could you say what the memento on his neck was?- Addressed.
- Other than these, good work.--Exiled Jedi
(Greetings) 12:22, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
Prepare to be savaged…
Are we sure the alternate blade colors are mistakes? Isn't it just as possible that she changed the crystal at some point? I ask because this kind of thing comes up with alien articles all the time: One source says they have four fingers per hand, say, but then a comic comes out a year later with a five-fingered one. As both sources are canon, I usually chalk it up to a biological variation in the species. Why not the same here? Otherwise, very, very clean. ~Savage
14:57, August 4, 2011 (UTC)- Fairly certain. The conflicting colors represented on the Master cover and in EGTTF are associated to the same exact time frame in which she created and was shown using the lightsaber within the pages of Trials of a Jedi and Master. The blade color isn't even the only grossly negligent misinterpretation rendered by the two artists in question.—Tommy 9281 Thursday, August 4, 2011, 15:17 UTC
- OK, if the timeframe is not there to support a crystal change, I agree with you, it's an error. It might be worth adding a note about the impossibility of a crystal change, but I'm a support nonetheless. ~Savage
15:25, August 4, 2011 (UTC)
- OK, if the timeframe is not there to support a crystal change, I agree with you, it's an error. It might be worth adding a note about the impossibility of a crystal change, but I'm a support nonetheless. ~Savage
- Fairly certain. The conflicting colors represented on the Master cover and in EGTTF are associated to the same exact time frame in which she created and was shown using the lightsaber within the pages of Trials of a Jedi and Master. The blade color isn't even the only grossly negligent misinterpretation rendered by the two artists in question.—Tommy 9281 Thursday, August 4, 2011, 15:17 UTC
From the Council Chambers:
Only one minor issue: can you use {{CSWECite}} in the "Sources" section?- Otherwise, good job. Master Jonathan — Jedi Council Chambers Thursday, August 4, 2011, 16:47 UTC
- Addressed. Thanks for the review, MJ, please advise if anything further is required.
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 19:03, August 12, 2011 (UTC)