Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Va'too

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Va'too

  • Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:11, November 8, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: One fine day, EU will have named all Jedi who fought in the First Battle of Geonosis...

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Assuming that 22 BBY and 212 Jedi can be sourced to the book.--Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 15:33, November 10, 2011 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 00:42, December 5, 2011 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Looks good. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:54, December 8, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote grunny@wookieepedia:~$ 15:39, December 10, 2011 (UTC)
  5. Obi-Wan was a Knight during the events of AOTC, not Master. JangFett (Talk) 03:41, December 13, 2011 (UTC)

Object

Jujiggum
  • In the intro and the body: a bit of specification about how the mission turned into a battle would be good (maybe even something as simple as stating who the battle was with)
  • For "After the battle, Moonseeker mourned at the body of her former Master." and "After the battle, Moonseeker returned to the arena and mourned the loss of her master at Va'too's body…" the phrasing seems a little weird here. Mourning at the body doesn't make much sense…
    • Would "mourning by" be the correct phrase? Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:40, December 2, 2011 (UTC)
      • I don't see the need for anything other than just a simple: "she mourned the loss of her former Master" or something like that. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:31, December 3, 2011 (UTC)
  • Sentence structure in the second paragraph of the bio is a bit unwieldy: you've got one particularly short and choppy sentence, and one run-on sentence.
  • The first two sentences of the P&T have absolutely nothing to do with Va'too's personality or traits, and everything to do with his powers & abilities.
  • Grammar/wording check in the last sentence of the P&T.
  • Also: I don't think removing the 212 is a good idea; it's relevant to the article. You'll have to source it to something else, yes, but that doesn't mean it should be removed.
    • I actually considered this, but as I found no source, I'll would say "large" is enough. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:40, December 2, 2011 (UTC)
      • I disagree; it's important information. "Large" could constitute as few as 10 Jedi, for all the reader knows (after all, most of the examples of Jedi missions that are presented in canon constitute just a couple Jedi). I think it would be appropriate to ask a few people for the information before you give up on it. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:31, December 3, 2011 (UTC)
        • Please take a look if that's fine with you. Clone Commander Lee Talk 16:49, December 3, 2011 (UTC)
          • If I may chime in: Lee, you currently have the 212 figure sourced to Inside the Worlds of Attack of the Clones, but have you checked the book yourself? I'm asking because I couldn't find it there myself; as far as I can tell, the book says there were 200 Jedi on the arena. The 212 figure has indeed been floating around Wookieepedia for quite some time now, but I for one have never seen it properly sourced. It can't really be sourced to Episode II as has been done in the Battle of Geonosis article for example (unless it comes from the DVD/Blu-ray comments or something, which I'm not familiar with). Tinwe(comlink) 08:42, December 4, 2011 (UTC)
            • Indeed interesting. I checked Inside the Worlds of Attack of the Clones, found the ~200 number and added it. Somehow this was changed to 212. As far as I know, there is no source for that number. I own the Episode II DVD, but can't remember that there are any comments about the size of that group. Therefore, if you all agree, I leave the number by "over 200" and source it to "Inside the Worlds". If you got any other ideas or sources, please let me know and thank you for your help. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:45, December 4, 2011 (UTC)
  • Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 04:51, December 1, 2011 (UTC)
  • Just one more question: do we know whether or not Moonseeker was trying to get Va'too's body retrieved, or if she actually succeeded in getting it retrieved? Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 00:15, December 4, 2011 (UTC)
    • The novel describes it as follows: He watched as Talia Moonseeker withdrew to a discreet distance, so the body of her slain former Master might be decently carried from the area by the tireless clones.... I believe that the way it is written now is correct. However, if you believe otherwise I'm fine with changing it. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:52, December 4, 2011 (UTC)
      • Well, that says that she was in the process of ensuring that his body was carried off, not that she was "trying"—trying makes it sound like she was still looking for a way for her to readily see that it was carried it off. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 16:49, December 4, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Please reload the infobox. Toprawa and Ralltiir 07:27, December 5, 2011 (UTC)
  • We have an issue regarding this character's Jedi rank. In the intro Va'too is introduced as a Jedi Master. However, nowhere in the Biography section does the article ever mention he is a Master, instead only referring to him as a Knight. Only later in the P/T is he then randomly referred to as a Master. If he is a Master, this needs to be clearly defined in the Biography at the correct chronological place. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:07, December 5, 2011 (UTC)
    • Please try it now. Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:21, December 6, 2011 (UTC)
      • The article now reads that, "Around 22 BBY, Moonseeker successfully passed her Jedi Trials, making her a full-fledged Jedi Knight and Va'too a Jedi Master." Does the source literally say this? That this is the progression of events that led to Va'too attaining the Master rank, or are we just making an extrapolation? Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:14, December 6, 2011 (UTC)
        • It was an extrapolation, but I replaced it with something not so speculative. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:01, December 6, 2011 (UTC)
          • Ok, change is looking better. But I still see some problem with the time line here. Before this most recent change, the article was attempting to assert that he became a Master after he trained Moonseeker to Knighthood. But now the article is saying he became a Master and then trained Moonseeker to Knighthood. Which is it? If the source doesn't say, I would recommend changing the beginning of this sentence from "Afterward" to "At some point": "Afterward, Va'too took the female Argauun Talia Moonseeker as a Padawan learner." Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:17, December 6, 2011 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 04:04, December 13, 2011 (UTC)


  • As I just found out that I've written a GAN which I did not count, I came to the conclusion that this is my 50th GAN. I want to say thank you to all reviewers, ACs, copy-editors, quote suppliers, image suppliers and all others. Without you, there would be nil noms from me. Thanks to you all, I hope there will be a lot more GANS from me in the future. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:39, November 10, 2011 (UTC)