Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Unidentified planet 10 (Dilonexa system)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified planet 10 (Dilonexa system)

  • Nominated by: Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:42, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Hey Naru, I finally did one!

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:12, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
  2. --Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 22:56, December 13, 2011 (UTC)
  3. ~SavageBOB sig 15:41, December 22, 2011 (UTC)
  4. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 06:35, December 23, 2011 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Menkooroo 20:33, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 01:45, December 31, 2011 (UTC)
  7. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:38, January 1, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Lee's charge
  • A little bit context on The Slice in intro and description please.
  • the Galactic Empire of Darth Krayt, who was a Dark Lord of the Sith.: Can you change this to the Galactic Empire of the Sith Lord Darth Krayt or something similiar, so that it flows better?
  • If you mention the publishing dates of the CSWE and the novel, it would only be fair to mention that of the Essential Atlas as well, e.g. in brackets.
  • Otherwise very good work. Clone Commander Lee Talk 16:08, December 12, 2011 (UTC)
Cal has something to say
  • "The world was among the twenty-two planets in the system orbiting too close to the system's sun, Dilonexa, to support life, due to intense heat that it could cause death within microseconds." If you could make this sentence a little more clear (especially the end), that'd be good.
  • Also, please note my copy-edit.
  • Otherwise, good job.--Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 03:22, December 13, 2011 (UTC)
X Marks the Hero
  • "Sometime between 3,956[4] and 3,000 BBY[5] the area the planet was located in was explored by the Galactic Republic, and in 3,350 BBY an independent government called the Centrality was founded in the planet's sector, but the Hutt Empire controlled the cluster of planets." This is a run-on sentence. Break it up. And thank you too for taking part. Better some of them get written than none at all. :) NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 06:52, December 18, 2011 (UTC)
    • Broken up, this is going to get extremely challenging by the time we write most of the articles.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 13:05, December 18, 2011 (UTC)
      • So you'd like to continue with it? I was just going to finish off Planet 2 after Bravo 1 and call the Shed Scorcher done, but we can keep on as a subpage project if you'd like. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 06:34, December 23, 2011 (UTC)
        • Yeah, I figured I'd try to do a few more at least.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 13:09, December 23, 2011 (UTC)
          • I'll probably do one in a few weeks, too. Keep it alive!! Menkooroo 20:24, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
Jujiggum
  • Why are there no separate links for the Centrality as a sector of space and the Centrality as a government? It sounds like it was identified as a distinct area of space long before a government was established there
    • If I might interject, I don't think that's the case. Per page 162 of the Atlas, it says the Centrality was "founded as an independant territory in 3,350 BBY," which I would take to mean that it was organized as both a government, as established by other sources, and a sector at the same time. Before then it was not any more "distinct" in a political sense than the area that became Canada was before the French established it. It was unmarked and undefined. I don't see point in having separate articles covering it from the standpoint of a government and a sector and full coverage could be managed with one. The two articles' content would be identical anyway: what's covered in the Description of the sector's would be the Astrography of the government's. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 07:46, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
      • Okay, well in that case, an extra article would indeed be unnecessary. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 20:16, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
  • No link for the Sharu's civilization?
  • "In 19 BBY, the worlds of the Centrality pledged their allegiance to the Galactic Empire after the Empire replaced the Republic after the Clone Wars." The chronology is unwieldy here; please reword.
  • The BTS should not be sourced. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 21:20, December 26, 2011 (UTC)
    • I thought that sourcing the BTS was up to the nominator. I checked some status articles and saw some with sourced BTS sections, some with partially sourced BTS sections, and some without any sourcing. I am curious as to the rules about this, since it doesn't seem like there has been any uniformity even in status articles. I even checked the Manual of Style and the Layout Guide and the sourcing guidelines and could not find anything about the BTS section. Sorry for the wordiness, but I already have a fair number of status articles with sourced BTS sections similar to this one.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 23:45, December 26, 2011 (UTC)
      • Well, we usually avoid it because of redundancy; WP:S says we should source articles as sparingly as possible (rule 6), and the statements that you currently have in the BTS are all by definition self-sourcing. When you source a sentence that already states its source, you haven't really done anything for the article. I won't leave the objection, though, since there doesn't seem to be a rule to outright say you can't source the BTS. I'll support as soon as the intro/infobox redlink is killed. Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 03:40, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
  • In light of what Naru said above, could you rephrase the areas that make it sound like the sector was identified as a distinct sector before it was made a government? (particularly: "…located inside of the Centrality, a sector formed into an independent government in the year 3,350 BBY." and "In 3,350 BBY an independent government called the Centrality was founded in the planet's sector…") Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 20:16, December 28, 2011 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Although we have no standing policy on this at the moment, and while we have variations of how we treat this site-wide, I would prefer for this article and Unidentified planet 24 (Dilonexa system) to be consistent in the treatment of the name field in the infobox.
  • Given our many individual articles for measurement units, I've left a redlink for "microsecond" in the article, including the intro. Please kill.
  • Is it really necessary to mention that Del Rey published each of the referenced works within the BTS text? The fact that these planets were mentioned within Del Rey-published material really has no meaning other than Del Rey is basically LFL's foremost licensed contractor. In other words, mentioning their name throughout doesn't give us any vital information we didn't otherwise need to know. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:37, January 1, 2012 (UTC)
    • I removed all the mentions of Del Rey.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 19:18, January 1, 2012 (UTC)
      • Feel free to keep the first mention, if you prefer. I just felt all subsequent mentions were unnecessary. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:38, January 1, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 21:00, January 1, 2012 (UTC)