- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Unidentified male (Sullust)
- Nominated by: Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 21:11, 7 August 2024 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Spooky reminded me this article was still a thing.
- Date Archived: 22:38, 8 October 2024 (UTC)
- Final word count: 303 words (69 introduction, 220 body, 14 behind the scenes)
- Word count at nomination time: 295 words (63 introduction, 218 body, 14 behind the scenes)
- WookieeProject (optional): WP:NOVELS, WP:SWBF
(4 ACs/0 Users/4 Total)
(Votes required: No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)
Support
—spookywillowwtalk 21:18, 7 August 2024 (UTC)- Lewisr (talk) 17:05, 9 August 2024 (UTC)
- Ayrehead02 (talk) 08:21, 26 September 2024 (UTC)
Wok142 (talk) 22:36, 8 October 2024 (UTC)
Object
Lew
Something about the second sentence in the intro seems a bit off, can you reword it a little?Lewisr (talk) 00:21, 9 August 2024 (UTC)If the pronouns are unspecified then the he/his used for the man should be changedLewisr (talk) 00:21, 9 August 2024 (UTC)- Both addressed. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 13:30, 9 August 2024 (UTC)
Wok
In the intro, I think you should add "of the city" to the last bit of the first sentence so it explicitly says what the Empire is locking down - so: "during the Galactic Empire's lockdown of the city in 3 ABY."- Also in the intro, I would advocate for saying either "injured citizens" or "injured civilians" instead of just "injured" to be most specific.
I believe you forgot to officially introduce Namir in the Biography section.- All sorted. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 13:48, 19 September 2024 (UTC)
Second sentence in the second paragraph of the bio, starting the sentence with "They" is a bit confusing since it can read as referring to the man with unspecified pronouns or the pair of Namir and Nunb. If you feel this works, I would opt for "The male" instead of they in this case so it is the most clear but also avoids starting two sentences in a row with "The man."Wok142 (talk) 17:05, 5 September 2024 (UTC)- This was briefly thought about during my initial, putting "they" and "pair" in separate regards in that sentence sorta implies that "they" is referring to the man. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 13:48, 19 September 2024 (UTC)
- You are right, but reading it, it was still slightly confusing even if only for a moment. Assuming that other readers might encounter this the same way, I think it would be smoothest to amend this even if it is a minor thing. There does exist the implication as you said, but I would prefer that readers don't potentially have to pause to realize that when it could be worded in a clearer way from the start. Wok142 (talk) 21:38, 19 September 2024 (UTC)
- Very well, changed. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 21:25, 7 October 2024 (UTC)
- You are right, but reading it, it was still slightly confusing even if only for a moment. Assuming that other readers might encounter this the same way, I think it would be smoothest to amend this even if it is a minor thing. There does exist the implication as you said, but I would prefer that readers don't potentially have to pause to realize that when it could be worded in a clearer way from the start. Wok142 (talk) 21:38, 19 September 2024 (UTC)
- This was briefly thought about during my initial, putting "they" and "pair" in separate regards in that sentence sorta implies that "they" is referring to the man. Braha'tok enthusiast Hello there 13:48, 19 September 2024 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 22:38, 8 October 2024 (UTC)