- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Unidentified clone trooper 2 (Geonosis)
(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
- Clone Commander Lee Talk 22:48, April 10, 2014 (UTC)
Sir Cavalier of One
(Squadron channel) 14:49, May 7, 2014 (UTC)
JangFett (Talk) 23:51, May 26, 2014 (UTC)
IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 04:25, June 3, 2014 (UTC)- 251 words. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 16:59, June 3, 2014 (UTC)
Object
Lee's charge
The clone trooper was a male Human clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter, Jango Fett. He was cloned and trained: "Cloned" is very redundant here. Please replace it, e.g. with born/created.- As other guy
You should mention that the droids blew up the wall. You can cut the context on the CIS to reduce the intro then.- Added, removed
Mention his weapon in the P&t. However, then you should put this and the armor in a separate "Equipment" section.- Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:02, April 7, 2014 (UTC)
Jangeth
Following other clone trooper articles, it's not necessary to include a birth year if there's nothing indicating a clear date. I'd remove it in this article.- removed
22 BBY can just be sourced to NEC and Geonosis to the video game. It doesn't require a ref note.- How's that?
Since the Encyclopedia mentions 1.83 meters, it would be better to use it than the defunct databank.There is no need to mention that he was a Human male in the bio since it's redundant—mentioning clone trooper already indicates that he's a Human male.- Oh good, it didn't sit right with me but I figured i had to mention those :D
- I took care of this, but for future referencing, saying "the bounty hunter, Jango Fett" suggests that Jango is the only bounty hunter, which isn't true.
- Fixed
Once you eliminate the birth year in the bio, the same Kamino mentioning sentence needs to be tweaked: First, you can just say that he was cloned on the world instead of saying "created and trained." Next, you used the word before twice in the same sentence, but this will be taken care of once you remove the birth year.- Better?
"In 22 BBY, he was deployed to the planet Geonosis in the first battle on that planet" Take a look at my sentence in the intro.Check your grammar here.- Similar to above, in that mentioning the first battle of geonosis means i don't need to specifically mention the planet? changed
There's no need for an equipment section because the information is minor and could fit within the P&T.- Noice
There were a number of grammatical errors throughout the article. Please be more careful in the future. I also saw a few cases of: [[Droid/Legends|droids]]. There's no need to do that since you can just do [[Droid/Legends|droid]]s. :P JangFett (Talk) 22:57, April 13, 2014 (UTC)Here's an issue that I see in both your 17's Squad articles. If the squad is actually commanded by 17, you need to create a new article and link it in both articles. Next: "In 22 BBY, the trooper participated in the Battle of Geonosis alongside clone troopers 17, 35 and a trooper from 17's squad." Is 35 and this clone trooper (the GAN) are of his squad? If so, the intro and bio need to mention this. JangFett (Talk) 22:54, April 15, 2014 (UTC)- It is not known (or even inferred) who commands the 4 troopers. In fact, we don't know if they are an actual squad, or just 4 troopers who just happen to have banded together to defend the same area. I mentioned something to this end (on the previous CA i think) and am not sure how exactly to address this issue, since we don't like "it is unknown" type talk :S Manoof (talk) 10:59, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
- Then you need to move the article(s) to properly reflect the IU information. Saying "17's Squad" implies that he's part of 17's squad. We'll go from there after the move. JangFett (Talk) 13:40, April 23, 2014 (UTC)
- Moved to what though, i have no idea what to move it to. Unidentified clone trooper (Geonosis) seems too vague, and it makes sense to indicate they are the two clones who were with 17 and 35... Manoof (talk) 07:06, April 28, 2014 (UTC)
- Right, but saying (17's squad) makes it sound as if he's part of 17's squad. You can say Unidentified clone trooper 2 (Geonosis) or Unidentified clone trooper 2 (RC-1138). Since the former doesn't exist, I would use that one over the latter. The other clone can be Unidentified clone trooper (Geonosis). Up to you. JangFett (Talk) 14:09, April 28, 2014 (UTC)
- Moved to what though, i have no idea what to move it to. Unidentified clone trooper (Geonosis) seems too vague, and it makes sense to indicate they are the two clones who were with 17 and 35... Manoof (talk) 07:06, April 28, 2014 (UTC)
- Then you need to move the article(s) to properly reflect the IU information. Saying "17's Squad" implies that he's part of 17's squad. We'll go from there after the move. JangFett (Talk) 13:40, April 23, 2014 (UTC)
- It is not known (or even inferred) who commands the 4 troopers. In fact, we don't know if they are an actual squad, or just 4 troopers who just happen to have banded together to defend the same area. I mentioned something to this end (on the previous CA i think) and am not sure how exactly to address this issue, since we don't like "it is unknown" type talk :S Manoof (talk) 10:59, April 18, 2014 (UTC)
El Jefe
Again, by my count, this article sits at 246 words. It shouldn't be hard to beef it up by four words, give it a shot.IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 01:56, June 2, 2014 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 16:59, June 3, 2014 (UTC)
- Without the fluffy context, the article has 233 words at the moment. If you're missing information, now's the time to beef it up. JangFett (Talk) 22:56, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
- At this rate it won't get to ANY sort of status :/ lol only extra info would be redundant, or unnecessarily detailed, i don't think i should explain exactly how his body moved as it was expelled from the blast, or the exact colour of the wall that blew up... :P Manoof (talk) 11:20, April 18, 2014 (UTC)