Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Unidentified clone trooper (Haurgab)

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified clone trooper (Haurgab)

  • Nominated by: 501st dogma 21:06, January 6, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. If there are any issues left, I'm sure that someone else will find these. Otherwise, amazing work to adress all these objections. Good job and I'll like to see more articles from you in the future. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:51, January 22, 2012 (UTC)
  2. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 19:53, February 6, 2012 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:33, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
  4. ACvote—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 02:22, February 15, 2012 (UTC)
  5. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 19:38, February 15, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Return of the Jedi
  • First off, the eras tag must be on top of the other elements in the article.
  • The opening quote doesn't seem to make much sense with the article as it reads now. It should have some context added to explain what it has to do with this clone.
    • Ok, I took it out. The aren't any other quotes directly relating to the trooper--501st dogma 01:46, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
  • Context on Clone Wars in the body.
  • Context on the Maujasi.
    • Completed--501st dogma 16:15, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
      • "...the Maujasi, Humans native to Haurgab..." - If they're Humans, then why call them "Maujasi?" You should specify that they were part of a clan or whatever it was that made them "Maujasi" rather than just Humans.—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 03:09, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
  • "The trooper was in the mess at the base in 19 BBY..." - Why do you link to Cantina? A cantina is not the same as a mess hall. On that note, I believe you should find a better word than "mess" for this situation. Not only does it sound confusing, but it is a rather un-encyclopedic term.
    • Ok, I changed it too mess hall, as that's what its called in the book. I also unlinked it--501st dogma 01:46, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
  • "One missle directly hit the front entrance..." - Front entrance of what? That needs to be specified.
    • "One missile directly hit the front entrance of the base near the mess hall..." - Now it sounds like the base was near the mess hall. It should be reworded so it's clear that the mess hall was in the base, and the missile hit the front entrance of the base.—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 03:09, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
  • "participating in the raid that captured and killed those who launched the missile." - Link for the raid.
    • Ok, linked but it is a red link so i'll create it tomorrow--501st dogma 01:46, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
  • Context on Kamino and Centax-2 in the BTS.
    • Completed--501st dogma 16:15, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
      • There's something about that sentence that bothers me. Can you please try to reword it so that it is clearer and so that there isn't so many mDashes and nDashes so close together?—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 03:09, January 11, 2012 (UTC)
  • Referencing problems. In the body of an article, they should use the <ref name="..." /> formatting, while the BTS should use {{Ref|<ref name="..." />}}. There are currently places that need cleaning up in that area.
  • On that same note, all references in the body need to be moved after the punctuation, not before.
  • Since there is only one reference for the whole body, then there should only be two tags: One at the end of each paragraph.
    • Excesive tags removed--501st dogma 18:07, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
  • That's all for now.—Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 22:19, January 6, 2012 (UTC)
Lee's charge
  • Cal got most of my objections above, but here are several small things I want to object.
  • Like all clones of Jango Fett, the trooper stood 1.83 meters. He also shared much of the same main features of other clone troopers such as their complexion and basic look.: You source that sentence entirely to the encyclopedia. However, IMHO you can source the part about his height to the encyclopedia and the rest to the novel, as it is said there.
  • appeared in the book Order 66: A Republic Commando Novel: While this is the correct title of the novel, please shorten it to in the novel Order 66, as the RC novel part is said later in the sentence.
  • where he fought against the Maujasi who had allied themselves with the Confederacy of Independent Systems.: It would be better to say that the Republic fought against the CIS overall. Otherwise, we have two factions which allied themself, but have no clue against whom they fought.
  • when a group of pro-Separatists launched a missile strike: Link for that group?
    • Completed, though it is a red link. I'll create it soon. 501st dogma 16:23, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
  • More to come. Clone Commander Lee Talk 09:52, January 7, 2012 (UTC)
  • That Haurgab is a Mid Rim planet is intro-exclusive information and needs to be removed or added to the bio. I would prefer the latter.
  • As I'm not quite sure if the "Battle of Haurgab" is proberly labelled as such in the novel, it would be better not to write it that. It should be reworded to something like and served in a battle on the Mid Rim planet Haurgab during the Clone Wars. Another good aspect of that wording would be that you give context for the planet.
    • Completed but I pretty much just copied your wording :) 501st dogma 13:16, January 8, 2012 (UTC)
  • "Human" needs to capitallized throughout the article.
  • The trooper was in the mess hall at the base: As you mention Hadde at the end of the sentence, we don't know which base. Please find a way to make that clearer, e.g. mentioning Hadde earlier in the sentence.
    • Changed it so it now reads "the trooper was in the mess hall at the Hadde Base". 501st dogma 13:16, January 8, 2012 (UTC)
  • Fix these and I'll give it another look. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:13, January 8, 2012 (UTC)
  • This clone trooper was a soldier who served the Grand Army of the Republic during the Clone Wars, which started in 21 BBY.: While it is fine to give some context on the Clone Wars, please give proper info. The war begun in 22 BBY and you should tell us who fought against whom.
  • There, he fought against the Separatist-aligned Maujasi, and it was during this battle that he was killed : He was not killed battling enemy forces. Could you reword this sentence please.
  • He was assigned to the 85th Infantry Brigade and served in a battle on the Mid Rim planet Haurgab during the Clone Wars, in which the Galactic Republic battled the Confederacy of Independent Systems for control of the galaxy.: To avoid confusion, reword the first two bio sentences. Add the info about the Clone Wars to the first sentence.
  • The trooper's death heavily impacted Republic clone commando RC-1262, nicknamed "Scorch", who witnessed the trooper's death.: Two times "the trooper's death". Please change one.
  • He later took out his rage on the ones who launched the missile that ended the trooper's life, participating in the raid that captured and killed those who launched the missile.: Same thing here.
  • Adress these and I'll give it a final look. Clone Commander Lee Talk 14:33, January 8, 2012 (UTC)
  • Please keep the intro as one paragraph.
  • Sexes should be linked somewhere in the intro, e.g. He that way.
  • Three times Haurgab in the three intro sentences. Please find a synonym for one e.g. planet.
  • The mention of 22 BBY as Clone Wars start date is intro-exclusive.
  • Some context for Hadde Base, e.g. Republic.
  • I'm not source if the BtS is self sourcing (date). Therefore I advise to place a tag there too.
  • That should be all. Really. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:02, January 22, 2012 (UTC)
Cav
  • The homeworld note; how relevant is it to the article? At best, its speculative to even mention Centax 2 since the reference refers to a completely different division than the one this trooper served in. Is there any direct proof that this trooper may have been from Centax at all? - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 14:33, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
    • It was originally in the body before I converted it into a ref with a copy–edit. Should it be removed or should I wait for the nominator? TK999 14:34, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
      • The uncertainty of which homeworld the trooper was from is just a fact that I put into the article. Like it says, the 14th, from centax-2, joined the 85th, most likely from kamino since thay are standard clones. The book never says if he belonged to the 14th, and it also never said that he was from the orgininal 85th. Therefore we can never be sure of the homeworld. The only thing mentioned in the book is that his head got cut inhalf, and the effect on Scorch. I agree with TK-999 putting it in a note to explain way kamino is not the definite homeworld because the explaination is better there than in BTS. Hope that clears things up, --501st dogma 21:10, January 9, 2012 (UTC)
        • Except, in your own BTS note, you state with certainty that the 85th - the clone's unit - was from Kamino. This would indicate that he was also from Kamino. The birthplace of the 14th seems to have nothing to do with any trooper assigned to the 85th. Nothing in this article indicates that the clone had connections to the 14th other than the two units serving in the same operational theatre, so speculating that he may have had a different birthplace is pure speculation and should be removed. If no conclusive proof for either homeworld actually exists, then it should be removed from the article entirely. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 23:12, January 17, 2012 (UTC)
          • I recently reviewed the information relating to Haurgab. The 14th joined the 85th and clone commando's in the the Haurgab garrison. This means that since the trooper is only seen in the background of the book getting his head cut off, it never says whether he was from the 85th or 14th. I'll change the wording in the article so it says he was part of the Haurgab garrison instead, and delete all the homeworld stuff. Sorry for the inconvenience.---501st DogmaRepublic emblem(Comlink) 21:48, January 18, 2012 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Please reload the infobox. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:04, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
    • Sorry, I'm new to Wookieepedia, but what exactly do you mean by that? Do you want me to delete the info box, reload it and refill in all of the info?---501st DogmaRepublic emblem(Comlink) 00:23, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
      • In a nutshell, yes. There are either missing parameters or the original infobox code is incomplete, meaning you just filled in what was there when you found the article, rather than reloading the infobox fresh. Reloading it ensures the full, correct code is being used. Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:29, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
        • Is this better? My preload button was not working so I had to copy wolffe's infobox, remove all of the content, and fill it with Haurgab trooper info.-501st DogmaRepublic emblem(Comlink) 00:48, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
  • All of our clone trooper status articles include the requisite info of being bred on Kamino from the clone template of Jango Fett to serve in the Republic. This planet of birth should be mentioned in the infobox, and this should be mentioned in the first sentence of the biography. Use this article as an example. Toprawa and Ralltiir 02:20, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
    • Ok, added. The homeworld was not added before due to the uncertainty of it. (For the full explanation, check out my comment under Cav's objection.)--501st DogmaRepublic emblem(Comlink) 21:41, February 8, 2012 (UTC)
      • Understandable. This is really just to keep in line with all of our clones articles, based on a decision some people made some time ago regarding them. Good job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:33, February 8, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 19:38, February 15, 2012 (UTC)


  • I'll continue my review once the discussion above is finished. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:10, January 15, 2012 (UTC)
    • So far they have not responded. I am not even sure if they are intending to respond.---501st DogmaRepublic emblem(Comlink) 13:18, January 15, 2012 (UTC)