Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Unidentified Wookiee base (Attichitcuk's rescue)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Unidentified Wookiee base (Attichitcuk's rescue)

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:52, April 12, 2019 (UTC)
  2. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 09:09, April 17, 2019 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:12, April 22, 2019 (UTC)
  4. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 21:18, April 22, 2019 (UTC)
  5. Inqvote Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:43, April 23, 2019 (UTC)

Object

Zed
  • "multiple" is misspelled in the introduction.
  • In the Description section, it might be better to directly introduce the base first and then state it was one of several, rather than referring to it with "one of which".
  • "The base was also near a forest and with plentiful sources of food" I think "had" would sound better than "with" in this sentence.
  • Could you also give some context to Qui-Gon in the History section, and possibly include why he was there, if it's known?
  • "While exploring the base's surroundings one of the bowcaster troopers found a herd of nerfs to the south, in response..." The part starting with "in response" should be a separate sentence.
  • Comma placement seems off in the final line of the BTS, and throughout the article, actually. There are some places where commas could be added, and others where they are used unnecessarily. Zed42 (talk) 05:45, March 21, 2019 (UTC)
  • "constructed a base—one of several on the world—near a river that flowed from the north to the eastern border of it." I presume "it" means the base. If so, could you reword to make it clearer? Zed42 (talk) 03:34, March 25, 2019 (UTC)
Anil
  • First, there are some formatting stuff to do. There are still multiple missing commas throughout the entire article.
  • Trooper should be linked, and Wookiee Chieftain can be pipelinked in the intro.
  • I'd like to see a brief context for Alaris Prime's location in the galaxy.
  • Troop should be linked in Description.
  • Soldier, trooper, and bowcaster should be linked in the History. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 07:19, March 24, 2019 (UTC)
    • All done apart from the Chieftain pipelink, just because in the game having the title of Chieftain isn't synonymous with being the leader of the Alaris colony. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 12:05, March 24, 2019 (UTC)
  • Does the game establish which side of the map is the north or east?
    • Apparently, it does. Fred told me that Apparently the game's maps are set up with a N, S, E, W configuration. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 02:02, March 28, 2019 (UTC)
  • Any other available image for the Description? Perhaps a wider shot of the base that supports this: "near a river that flowed from the north to the eastern border of it. The base was also near a forest."
    • Just got one of the river
  • "which were quickly defeated by the Wookiees." Does the game explicitly say that they were quickly defeated?
    • Turns out it actually doesn't. Removed
  • I think it's fair to add Category:Colonies to the article, a subcategory of Category:Settlements. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 03:10, March 25, 2019 (UTC)
    • Done
  • File names, including images, should have underscores rather than spaces in their names. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 03:14, March 25, 2019 (UTC)
  • Could you expand the intro a little bit with the mention of Alaris Prime colonial war, to let the reader know what was going on there at the time?
  • I think it would be fair to add Category:Wookiee culture to this article as the category deals with everything related to the Wookiees. Tell me what you think. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 12:10, March 31, 2019 (UTC)
    • I'd do it if that category contained other towns or cities created by Wookiees, but since that isn't the case I don't think it belongs there. Commander Code-8 Hello There! 05:26, April 3, 2019 (UTC)
      • Actually, it technically does as Category:Kashyyyk locations is one of its subcategories. But I see that you are opposed to the idea, so I'm leaving it up to you. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 06:07, April 3, 2019 (UTC)
      • I've talked about this with Toprawa and the others, and they are in favor of adding the category. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 15:52, April 12, 2019 (UTC)
QGJ
  • Not sure about the choice of words here. The phrase "to return with someone in tow" usually refers to bringing in a prisoner under guard. It doesn't really fit the case of rescuing a wounded ally. After the party returned to the base with Attichitcuk in tow, the Trade Federation sent three droidekas there in an attack that was unsuccessful.
    • Removed
  • Did the river flow around the entirety of the north border and the entire eastern border? Or do you mean just the "north-eastern" border? surrounded by a river which flowed around the north and eastern border of the settlement.
    • The former. Changed it to borders in the hopes of making it clearer.
  • Can this be reworded in any way to make it sound less like game mechanics? Maybe "Wookiees made advancements in technology" or something. Once a certain threshold of food was reached, the Wookiees were able to upgrade their technology level,
    • Followed your suggestion, though the tech levels are pretty hazy to address in-universe.
  • The images are a bit too small in the Oasis skin. You can make them larger, I think. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 14:04, April 3, 2019 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 03:45, April 23, 2019 (UTC)