- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Unidentified Chadra-Fan bounty hunter
- Nominated by: Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:37, January 21, 2014 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: More minor Clone Wars Adventures characters, though no Outcasts this time.
(5 ACs/1 User/6 Total)
Support
Assuming other objections handled satisfactorily. - Sir Cavalier of One
(Squadron channel) 09:32, February 27, 2014 (UTC)- Winterz (talk) 13:08, February 27, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 05:41, March 3, 2014 (UTC)- JangFett (Talk) 02:39, March 10, 2014 (UTC)
- Ayrehead02 (talk) 14:06, March 14, 2014 (UTC)
- Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:38, April 22, 2014 (UTC)
Object
Fred strikes
I'd rearrange the first sentence of the intro to avoid the comma (which actually doesn't need to be there anyway).- Good point.
Please don't link parts of words. Instead of "some[[Time/Legends|time]]," it should be "[[Time/Legends|sometime]]."- Whoops, sorry. Fixed.
Please reword as to not identify Sing as a Jedi. Calling her a "Jedi bounty hunter" means she is a member of the Jedi Order. I think you mean to say that she was a former Jedi, or that she hunts Jedi. MasterFred(Whatever) 18:52, February 4, 2014 (UTC)- Reworded, though I should point out that throughout the comic the bounty Urdruua posted was for a Jedi. Sing, at the end of the comic, excludes herself as a Jedi ("Such a waste. Now I have to go to find real Jedi to kill."). So I've also tried to make that distinction a bit more clear in the article (So the bounty wasn't for "Former Jedi turned Bounty Hunter"). --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 19:00, February 4, 2014 (UTC)
Winterz strikes
Is Urdruua ever referred to as "Urdruua the Hutt"?- Mmm, I don't remember anymore. I'll have to double check, but I'll change it for now.
- According TCSWE he is Urdruua the Hutt. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:25, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
- Mmm, I don't remember anymore. I'll have to double check, but I'll change it for now.
You could probably get a synonym for "hired" in the intro's first sentence, instead of recurring to repetition.- Changed the second use instead, if that's alright.
- Regarding your post in the talk page, I suggest you put that request in this page, far more effective and guaranteed to get a reply. ;) Winterz (talk) 00:55, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
- Well, I had no idea that existed! Thanks, mate! Hopefully it'll turn up some goods. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:15, February 16, 2014 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
The intro calls the Nikto bounty hunters, while the body refers to them as mercenaries. Which is correct?- By my understanding of the material, bounty hunters. I seem to use Bounty Hunter and Mercenary interchangeably, which probably isn't correct. Though as far as Star Wars goes both seem to be treated as hired guns and nothing else. *shrug* Fixed the discrepancies. Though, however, it could very well be a team of mercs, but seeing that the whole thing sounded like a posted bounty, I think it's bounty hunters. Note, that a Duros refers to the Chadra-Fan and the Nikto being a 'wave,' though this is a little odd since no her 'waves' of enemies arrive, minus a cloud of smart mines and the Duros.
"The Chadra-Fan had believed that it would be well off against a Jedi as it had accepted the job to kill one." This seems like speculation to me. Perhaps the Chadra-Fan thought that there would be enough people to help that they could overwhelm a Jedi. The way it is currently worded makes it sound like the Chadra-Fan thought that he/she would be able to handle a Jedi alone.- Yah, that does make sense... Tried to reword it.
From the picture it looks like the Chadra-Fan had pink-colored skin.- Whoops, forgot to add that in the P&T... Fixed.
Could you mention that the bounty hunter's gender was not identified in the BTS?--Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 03:18, February 23, 2014 (UTC)
- Done Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 17:38, February 27, 2014 (UTC)
Jangerton
I don't own this comic at the moment, but does it specifically source to 22 BBY? I do have another comic from the 8th volume and it did not say 22 BBY. Instead, I had to guess and assume based on the clothing of Obi-Wan. If it is then please take a look at my next objection:- Old Scores is captioned on the first panel as three months after the Battle of Geonosis. Though no, it does not explicitly say 22 BBY. Granted, I don't know what 'month' Geo took place in.
Do the events take place around or during 22 BBY? You mention the former in the intro, while the latter in the bio.- If 22 BBY, then during. My mistake on the first part. Fixed. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 03:45, March 7, 2014 (UTC)
- More to come after. JangFett (Talk) 23:59, March 6, 2014 (UTC)
Toprawa
I find the double use of the word "operated/operating" in the first two sentences of the Biography to be redundant. Please choose another variation for one of them.- Fixed it a bit
I think this "chamber" needs a bit of context. The chamber within his palace, for example? Or his stronghold? "planned to gas Sing in his own chamber"- Throne room is more befitting, probably.
Additionally, is this "throne room" a different room from the aforementioned "chamber"? If they're the same room, please use one word to avoid confusion: "a bomb she had planted in his throne room."- Ah... Throne room is the better term.
"The rogue"? That's kind of a weird way of referring to her. Can we find something more specific and befitting of her character? "and the others were defeated by the rogue."Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:48, March 11, 2014 (UTC)- I wouldn't say it is weird, no. She would be a 'rogue Jedi,' wouldn't she be? I added the word Jedi after rogue.
- I still don't think it's accurate to call her a rogue Jedi. That suggests she's still operating as a Jedi in some form, just outside the bounds of the formal restraints of the Jedi Order. But that's not the case. She leaves her Jedi life behind and turns wholly toward a career as a bounty hunter. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:03, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
- Changed to "former Jedi". Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:21, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
- I still don't think it's accurate to call her a rogue Jedi. That suggests she's still operating as a Jedi in some form, just outside the bounds of the formal restraints of the Jedi Order. But that's not the case. She leaves her Jedi life behind and turns wholly toward a career as a bounty hunter. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:03, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
- I wouldn't say it is weird, no. She would be a 'rogue Jedi,' wouldn't she be? I added the word Jedi after rogue.
I would also like to confirm that this comic story can be used as a source for the date provided in the article.Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 22:53, March 11, 2014 (UTC)- Ok. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:42, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
- No, that was me asking you to confirm this. As in, please check this story to see whether it can be used as a source for "the year 22 BBY, three months after the breakout of the Clone Wars." If it says anything, I'm guessing it states that the story is set three months ABG, but that still does not serve as an exact source for the 22 BBY date. That likely needs an additional reference. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:03, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
- Ah, okay. Added a Chrono source then for the year, as the comic simply states 3 Months After BoG. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 23:10, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
- Your addition doesn't work for two reasons. Firstly, New Essential Chronology does not state that this character "operated in the year 22 BBY." It says nothing about this character, in fact, so sourcing any direct action of this character to NEC is false sourcing. Secondly, NEC explicitly states that three months after the battle corresponds to anywhere between 21.77 BBY and 21.75 BBY, not 22 BBY, because the battle took place at the very end of 22 BBY. Your best recourse here is to leave a reference note for only the phrase "in the year 21 BBY" (note the date change) explaining that the comic establishes that its story takes place three months ABG, which corresponds to 21 BBY, according to NEC. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:02, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
- Added a reference. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:21, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
- Thank you, Lee, for adding the reference, but this entire objection is still not satisfied. Clonehunter, if you're still monitoring this nomination, please read the objection again carefully and address it. This is a good lesson for you in paying attention to detail. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:47, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
- Sorry about all this. I think something is still amiss, but I started with replacing the note so that the NEC only addresses the line "in the year 21 BBY". I'm still not sure if that's right, although the "operated" part is now back to being sourced to the comic. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 18:00, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
- Mmm, maybe that is it. Moving the references around so they read properly? --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 15:19, April 17, 2014 (UTC)
- Sorry about all this. I think something is still amiss, but I started with replacing the note so that the NEC only addresses the line "in the year 21 BBY". I'm still not sure if that's right, although the "operated" part is now back to being sourced to the comic. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 18:00, April 15, 2014 (UTC)
- Thank you, Lee, for adding the reference, but this entire objection is still not satisfied. Clonehunter, if you're still monitoring this nomination, please read the objection again carefully and address it. This is a good lesson for you in paying attention to detail. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:47, April 11, 2014 (UTC)
- Added a reference. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:21, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
- Your addition doesn't work for two reasons. Firstly, New Essential Chronology does not state that this character "operated in the year 22 BBY." It says nothing about this character, in fact, so sourcing any direct action of this character to NEC is false sourcing. Secondly, NEC explicitly states that three months after the battle corresponds to anywhere between 21.77 BBY and 21.75 BBY, not 22 BBY, because the battle took place at the very end of 22 BBY. Your best recourse here is to leave a reference note for only the phrase "in the year 21 BBY" (note the date change) explaining that the comic establishes that its story takes place three months ABG, which corresponds to 21 BBY, according to NEC. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:02, March 24, 2014 (UTC)
- Ah, okay. Added a Chrono source then for the year, as the comic simply states 3 Months After BoG. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 23:10, March 23, 2014 (UTC)
- No, that was me asking you to confirm this. As in, please check this story to see whether it can be used as a source for "the year 22 BBY, three months after the breakout of the Clone Wars." If it says anything, I'm guessing it states that the story is set three months ABG, but that still does not serve as an exact source for the 22 BBY date. That likely needs an additional reference. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:03, March 20, 2014 (UTC)
- Ok. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:42, March 19, 2014 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:38, April 22, 2014 (UTC)
- I took the liberty of addressing the objections as Clonehunter seems to be inactive. Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:21, April 4, 2014 (UTC)
- Oh, sorry about that. I thought I got to this. I should've paid more attention to the NEC, either way. Also, shouldn't that note read '21 BBY', as the NEC places three months later as 21 BBY. The note seems to contradict the article. Maybe I'm just not reading it right, but I'll change it. If I'm wrong, well, I'm wrong. :P--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 14:51, April 8, 2014 (UTC)
- Not, the Battle of Geonosis happened at the very end of 22 BBY. It's just like the battle happened in December and the bounty hunter stuff three months afterward (March). Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:01, April 8, 2014 (UTC)
- Ooh, okay. I see. I was wrong then. Sorry and thanks. --Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 20:44, April 8, 2014 (UTC)
- Not, the Battle of Geonosis happened at the very end of 22 BBY. It's just like the battle happened in December and the bounty hunter stuff three months afterward (March). Clone Commander Lee Talk 20:01, April 8, 2014 (UTC)
- Oh, sorry about that. I thought I got to this. I should've paid more attention to the NEC, either way. Also, shouldn't that note read '21 BBY', as the NEC places three months later as 21 BBY. The note seems to contradict the article. Maybe I'm just not reading it right, but I'll change it. If I'm wrong, well, I'm wrong. :P--Clonehunter(Report your W.M.D.) 14:51, April 8, 2014 (UTC)