Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Treve

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Treve

Nominated by: --Talrrivanian ^{(Headquarters)} 12:03, June 8, 2011 (UTC)
Nomination comments: Did this all myself, check it out

A lot of unverified info. How do we know the date (21 BBY)? How do we know the species, gender, height and that he was a clone of Jango Fett? These are all from sources like the Databank entry of clone troopers and SW Annual 2011.
Similar instances in the body: Kamino—how do we know that it is a watery planet?
Clone Wars needs to be mentioned.
What's an STAP? Who's General Grievous?
Infobox-exclusive information. Height, species, gender are unstated outside the box.
~~Finally, there are many examples of links to redirects and general punctuation/capitalization errors. Please fix as necessary.~~—TK-999 ^{(Rise of the Empire)} 13:42, June 8, 2011 (UTC)
Could you do the Databank thing, and the last point you made. The other stuff should be now fixed. Thanks! --Talrrivanian ^{(Headquarters)} 17:44, June 8, 2011 (UTC)
- Done. You'll still need to add the box-exclusive info, but feel free to use the Databank—it's on StarWars.com, and can be referenced with {{DB}}.—TK-999 ^{(Rise of the Empire)} 18:06, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

Please expand the intro.
~~Extraneous affiliations in the infobox.~~
- Solved with the requested copy-edit.—TK-999 ^{(Rise of the Empire)} 13:13, June 9, 2011 (UTC)
~~If you have ref tags in the Bts, you need to source the entire article.~~
- Same as above.—TK-999 ^{(Rise of the Empire)} 13:13, June 9, 2011 (UTC)
More to come later. 1358 ^(Talk) 15:01, June 8, 2011 (UTC)

More quotes needed. Add at least one. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 16:05, June 9, 2011 (UTC)

I did a copy-edit.
As was mentioned above, the intro could do with some expansion. It should still be proportionate to the article (meaning, don't do what I had originally done with Hahrynyar and make it the exact same size as the article body), but at least a modicum of context concerning Treve's role should be added.
~~As I had suggested for Drayk, creating an article about Grievous's computer virus and linking to it would be helpful.~~
"Kenobi was eventually saved by Padawan learner Ahsoka Tano, who swooped in on a droid's flying STAP machine that she had stolen, and destroyed the remotes." This sentence is a bit clunky. I suggest a revision, and perhaps dividing it up into two sentences for better flow.
I corrected some over-linking in the P&t.
And corrected some over-linking in the Bts. Items should be linked to only once in the article body. Trak Nar ^{Ramble on} 08:21, June 15, 2011 (UTC)

Outstanding objections since June 8. CC7567 ^(talk) 23:34, June 24, 2011 (UTC)
There goes our streak. Kilson^{(Let's have a chat)} 23:41, June 24, 2011 (UTC)
Merciless. Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:42, June 24, 2011 (UTC)