Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Trade Federation power core (Alaris Prime)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Trade Federation power core (Alaris Prime)

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote Assuming the completion of Menk's objections to his satisfaction. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 14:25, October 9, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Inqvote Don't mess with Shoran. Menkooroo (talk) 06:51, October 10, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Being a member of the University of North Texas Green Brigade Marching Band (the number one band and drumline in college football, I might add ;)) , every time I see "GB" on our stuff, I automatically think "Galactic Battlegrounds." :P MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 23:47, October 15, 2012 (UTC)
  4. Winterz (talk) 21:39, November 8, 2012 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:33, November 20, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Now you're playing with power
  • Good to see you doing a Battlegrounds project. A few things: If the title of the article is conjectural, and this specific power core doesn't have a special name, then "power core" shouldn't be capitalized in the intro, the body, or even in the article title.
  • Per the Manual of style, the bolded name in the intro shouldn't contain any links. [[Power core/Legends|power core]] should be linked on its next mention instead.
  • Should gundark be capitalized? Capitalization isn't consistent throughout the intro and body.
  • "who reported its destruction to the Trade Federation's leader Nute Gunray, mistakenly telling him that gundarks had attacked the power core." But gundarks did attack it, didn't they? Should this be "telling him that gundarks had destroyed" ?
  • Since this isn't a single-source article, everything needs to be sourced. That is, the "Description" and "History" sections need to be fully referenced.
  • Leading off the Description section with "The Power core" makes it seem like the reader should already be familiar with the power core. Since everything that was established in the intro needs to be established anew, something like "A power core" would work better.
  • There's a bit of repetition in the first two sentences of "History;" it's stated twice that the Trade Federation lands on the moon. Can you see about condensing it? Menkooroo (talk) 08:20, October 8, 2012 (UTC)
    • The bit about the Federation wanting to use the moon as a trade center is important context --- can you add it back in? It was specifically the mention of them "landing on the moon" that didn't need to be stated twice. Menkooroo (talk) 08:31, October 9, 2012 (UTC)
    • Done all. Can an admin please delete the old nom page (here) Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 07:27, October 9, 2012 (UTC)
Fred strikes
  • I know this is nit-picky, but the end of the Bts section states that it's "very easy to destroy." This seems a little POV to me. Other than that, good job. I love how the flames and smoke used as game mechanics to show damage are described in the history section. lol I also made a few minor changes. You should check the history and make sure you agree with them. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 17:55, October 15, 2012 (UTC)
  • Very nice. :P Good job on the article. Great game. I too had a mini-project going for the game a while back. May start it back up soon. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 23:47, October 15, 2012 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Currently, there is no article at the title Trade Federation power core. Articles should only have parenthetical descriptors if there are multiple articles that would otherwise share the same title. Unless and until another article exists that would also be titled "Trade Federation power core," this article should be moved to that title. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 00:30, November 20, 2012 (UTC)
    • I was intending the article for Trade Federation power core to be for the type of power core built by the Trade Federation in GB, but I got lazy. I'll create it now. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 05:10, November 20, 2012 (UTC)
  • This wording comes off as reading very speculatory. Can we reword this to simply say it was split instead of "apparently" split? "a part of the roof appeared to have been split, causing some smoke to come out"
  • Considering GB's grammatical issues, I'm probably going to be asking this of you on every one of your noms. :P Do the game's captions not place a comma in the "Destroyed by gundarks sir." sentence in the History section quote?
  • As per your nomination for OOL-2, I think it would be appropriate for the BTS to include a sentence mentioning this power core was first mentioned in the game's strategy guide. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 20:42, November 20, 2012 (UTC)
  • Final notes before supporting. Remember that punctuation always goes before a reference note. And I've replaced my change to the final sentence of the BTS. Except in very short sentences, it's good practice to avoid ending a sentence with "has" in formal writing. If you don't prefer my change and have an alternative way to word that sentence instead, feel free. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:33, November 20, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 03:58, November 21, 2012 (UTC)