Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Tracer

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Tracer

  • Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:58, November 2, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Can't leave all the TCW comic clones to Qui-Gon...

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 18:17, November 17, 2010 (UTC)
  2. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 05:47, November 30, 2010 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:29, December 3, 2010 (UTC)
  4. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 11:35, December 4, 2010 (UTC)
  5. Mobile-reviewed. –Tm_T (Talk) 19:38, December 4, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Fred strikes
  • In Preparation for the attack on Gwori, Koon furthermore explained that the risk of jump was worth, because it would save the life of countless clones and millions of beings. This doesn't make much sense. Try Koon furthermore explained that the risk of THE jump was worth IT, because it would save the LIVES of countless clones and millions of beings. Also, add a comma after the "since" in the second to last sentence in that section.
    • Fixed.
  • In Attack on Gwori, After coming down to the canyons of Gwori, Tiin and Koon destroyed the anti-air turrets on the ground and the squadrons bombed the shipyards, destroying a lot of Munificent-class star frigates, but there were more frigates then they could bomb. This is definitely a run-on sentence. Try splitting it into several sentences.
    • Splitted.
      • I tweeked the wording a little for grammar and reading purposes. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 18:17, November 17, 2010 (UTC)
  • Maybe put quotes around "without a scratch" in the Bts since he actually said that word-for-word. Not really necessary, just a personal thing.
    • Fixed.
  • MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 23:06, November 15, 2010 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • You say that the Gwori shipyards belonged to the Separatists in the intro, while in the bio you present them as the Banking Clan's. For consistency's sake, please either explain the connection in the bio or choose a single affiliation; it's not clear otherwise.
    • Clearified.
  • The fact that the bombs weren't enough to destroy all of the ships at Gwori is present in the intro but not really mentioned in the bio. Please clarify it to even out this inconsistency.
    • Clarfied.
  • Please watch your linking next time; it was a bit sporadic. CC7567 (talk) 06:48, November 27, 2010 (UTC)
    • Thanks, I will. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:49, November 29, 2010 (UTC)
      • I'm not going to make further objections out of these, but please make sure to go through the revisions I had to make. Some of it was simply stuff that I missed the first time around, but please nevertheless continue to practice more care and caution in the future; there were several major grammatical errors in your revisions. CC7567 (talk) 05:47, November 30, 2010 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • As a preliminary objection, I would strongly suggest finding a way to cut down on the size of the intro. The article's biography is 499 words, and the intro alone is 210. That's almost half the size of the biography, which should tell you, for an article this size, that's way too big. Just cut out instances of heavy description and save the detail meat for the bio. Toprawa and Ralltiir 06:07, November 30, 2010 (UTC)
  • Are we missing a word in the first spoken line of the P/T quote? Because it sure seems like it to me.
    • Nope.
  • Does the source say Tracer and Warthog bet on all of their missions, or just this one? The article should avoid extrapolating here if so: "He was a good friend of fellow pilot Warthog and bet with him about the outcome of their missions."
    • Fixed.
  • Who is "they" referring to here? He and Warthog? The entire squadron? Please clarify: "he believed that they would survive it" Toprawa and Ralltiir 05:09, December 2, 2010 (UTC)
    • Not very clear in the comic. He just says that "we" make it. Clone Commander Lee Talk 19:18, December 3, 2010 (UTC)
      • I figure he's at least referring to he and Warthog, if not the entire squadron, so I've changed it to this. We can alter it if you disagree. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:29, December 3, 2010 (UTC)
Xd1358
  • "After the team successfully landed, they captured a Separatist comm tower, from which Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano reported the coordinates to the Republic task force under the command of Jedi Generals Koon and Saesee Tiin, and Admiral Wullf Yularen in the Moskk system, where Hunter Squadron had been stationed." Rather long sentence; could you split? 1358 (Talk) 11:14, December 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 19:40, December 4, 2010 (UTC)