Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Tam Elgrin

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Tam Elgrin

(+6)

Support

  1. You sure this is your first? JorrelWiki-shrinkableFraajic 00:23, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
  2. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 05:12, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
  3. Great article, man. Very clean. DC 18:10, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
  4. Aqua Unasi 19:11, 1 September 2008 (UTC)
  5. I have have something of an interest in this article. ;-) Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 00:53, 4 September 2008 (UTC)
  6. As noted, with some extra work, this could be taken to FA. - Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 07:35, 4 September 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. From the destroyed planet of Jorrel Fraajic
    • If you use only reference in a paragraph, you are able to keep it at the end of said paragraph. There's no need to source sentences if they all come from the same source in that paragraph.
    • There's also a way to streamline the references so you don't have to type out the entire thing. For example, take Waru. Most of this information falls under The Crystal Star; however, after the initial ref, I'm able to not have to type out <ref name="TCS">''[[The Crystal Star]]''</ref>. Instead I can simply write <ref name="TCS" />. In your case, all of the <ref name="Enemy Lines 2: Rebel Stand">''Star Wars Enemy Lines II: Rebel Stand</ref> after the first can simply be <ref name="Enemy Lines 2: Rebel Stand" />. It's not really an objection so much as a suggestion, but I'd really like to see it implemented anyway.
    • Look out for the referencing within a sentence. Make sure that any refs come after punctuation, including commas, semicolons, etc.
    • Is it possible to get relevant quotes for the sections lacking them? From reading the article, I see that the commendation from Wedge (if it's spoken, that is) would fit under "A freed man", and something relating to the interaction between Elgrin and women, or something about the tripping, would be good under the P&T.
      • The commendation isn't spoken, it's only mentioned by Cilghal, an nothing is spoken relating to the P&T. Ifindyourlackoffaithdisturbing (Oya Manda!) 23:44, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
        • Gotcha. Worth a shot at any rate.
    • Content-wise, the article is very good. Take care of the above, and you've got my vote. I look forward to seeing more out of you in the future. ;) Jorrel Fraajic 23:44, 31 August 2008 (UTC)

From the squadron briefing of Cavalier One:

    • Do we really need two ref tags in the infobox to say he was in the New Jedi Order era? One should be enough, linked to the book he first appeared in.
    • The part about Elgrin's capture and turning into a Vong agent should be described from his point of view, and chronologically, not through the revelations of the New Republic personnel at Borleias. It should go Fall of Coruscant/capture > implantation of device into brain and turning > release to Borleias > showing holocam recording to Luke and co > discovery of false story by Dannii.
    • Elaboration on the plot to capture Jaina is needed.
    • What information was on the screens that prompted Elgrin to consider killing Dannii?
    • No quote for "A freed man" section?
    • I definitely think that the intro could be extended - it should be an overview of the entire article. Look at my current GANs: Lon Bennor, Tren, Kause and Tetrum. All have intros longer than Elgrin's, and they are about characters who are mentioned in a single paragraph. Elgrin is featured over two books.
    • This article is roughly 1,000 words; with some more fleshing out, an appropriate image or two, such as one of the Fall of Coruscant, or the Battle of Borleias, and a Behind the scenes section, this could go to FA. - Cavalier One(Squadron channel) 10:41, 3 September 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  • Not so much an objection, but is it possible to expand the intro a few sentences? Jorrel Fraajic 23:44, 31 August 2008 (UTC)
  • Having looked at this article twice, I still felt the prose needed some general improvement. I've gone through the bio line-by-line and attempted to do that clean up and expansion for you, also adding some pertinent tidbits. Please take a look at my edits and see what I did to the article—I feel it's overall more readable and informative than before. Nice work overall with this, and you'll certainly get better with practice. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 00:53, 4 September 2008 (UTC)