- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
T'Teknulp
- Nominated by: Grunny (Talk) 03:36, 2 February 2009 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Got it over 250 words :-)
(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)
Support
- SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 04:46, 4 February 2009 (UTC)
DC 03:25, 8 February 2009 (UTC)- Cylka-talk- 09:09, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
- Bat-Man. Graestan(Talk) 04:34, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
Nice work, Grunny. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:44, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
Object
Too many uses of 'division' in the intro than I'd like.SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 09:50, 2 February 2009 (UTC)- DC
Did Kenobi or Skywalker have any reaction to his death?"T'Teknulp was known to have a strangely jovial and high squeaky voice and always sounded happy no matter the circumstances." Many problems here; it's a run-on, and unless you explain that it was someone's view that he had a high squeaky voice and that he sounded happy, it's POV/OR."...it must have occurred in 22 BBY." What occurred in 22 BBY? Please specify.- Have fun. DC 02:41, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
- Cylka:
Is there any indication of what types of forces were in planetary orbit? Or did T'Teknulp and his division just encounter "enemy forces"?- No, unfortunately. The wording in the book is "Wild Greeting meant T'Teknulp's division had encountered enemy forces in planetary orbit" and that's all the info it gives.
Regarded as a skilled general, Obi-Wan Kenobi held complete faith in the Chadra-Fan's ability to reinforce him during the Battle of Farquar III despite having encountered enemy forces in planetary orbit, though he was killed before he could do so. - This sentence is a bit long. I think it would be best to break it up.- How's that?
- Another good job, Grunny! Cylka-talk- 08:35, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
- Graestan the Merciless:
No need for that single bullet in the infobox eras field.- Gone.
Please explain a bit more in the intro—the parties involved in the Clone Wars, the objective of the battle.- How's that?
Same goes for the bio, really. Feel free to source other things in providing appropriate context. The mission's objective should be stated early on.- Done.
"and his division … when his division … and his division" is a bit awkward and repetitive- How's it looking now?
You should point out Skywalker's relation to Kenobi in order to provide more context. Otherwise, it's a bit of a loose end.- Done.
Same goes for Cody.- Done.
"Regarded as a skilled general, Obi-Wan Kenobi held complete faith in the Chadra-Fan's ability" – Please reword this more explicitly. Not sure if Kenobi or your guy is considered skilled, and if it's your guy, then there are some agreement issues (i.e. "ability" is the subject as currently worded).- Graestan(Talk) 03:25, 14 February 2009 (UTC)
- Toprawa:
Can we specify what kind of division this was? A Clone trooper division, perhaps? "giving T'Teknulp command of a division"- Yes we can :). Grunny (Talk) 09:08, 16 February 2009 (UTC)
- Just notes, no objections here: I linked to the Battle of Farquar III in the intro, instead of the generic battle article. Try to always link to the most specific article you can.
- I've removed some instances of double linking. Keep a sharp eye out for linking, making sure only to link to something once in the introduction, one more in the biography/history, and then no more. Make sure to take a look at my edits to get a better idea of the changes I've made.
- Very nice job. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:42, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 21:44, 16 February 2009 (UTC)