Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Suu

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Suu

  • Nominated by: Jawaman 19:19, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: My first GAN ever! If you spot any problems, just write it under "object" or on my talk page, so I can fix it.

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

Support

  1. Pre-nom reviewed. --Xd1358 Talk 13:06, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Turd... hee hee. Kreivi Wolter 18:44, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

Object

  1. Fett's preliminaries
    • Please replace the current infobox image, and find a more suitable one. The SW.com promotional cropped image of Suu simply does not work here.
    • You have too many subsections within her bio.
    • Double check your sources. Make sure you check the episode guide, as not everything in the article can be sourced to the episode.
      • Fixed. Jawaman
    • The episode is not a source for "Rise of the Empire era". A more proper source would be the TCW novel.
      • Fixed. Jawaman
    • You have too many images, and that image of Suu and her family should be removed. As you remove unneeded subsections, make sure your paragraph sizes are proportional.
      • I don't see why the family picture should be removed. I'd think a good picture of Suu's family would be quite essential to her article. Much more than one that only shows her in the background holding her kids. Gry Sarth 11:12, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
        • Fixed. Jawaman
    • More to come JangFett (Talk) 19:57, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Fett, part I
    • "During a battle on Saleucami, four Republic troops found Cut and Suu's farmhouse, after their officer, clone trooper captain CC-7567, nicknamed "Rex", was shot by a Confederate commando droid." I do not understand how they found the farmhouse. So after Rex was shot, they found the farm house? Also, please check your grammar here.
      • Fixed. Jawaman
    • I do believe that the first paragraph of "Early life" can be condensed a little. It currently mentions the origins of Cut, rather than Suu's.
      • Fixed. Jawaman
    • "He and Suu eventually married, and Cut became the adoptive father of her two children, the four-year-old boy Jekk and the five-year-old girl Shaeeah." IIRC, those were his children, and not adoptive. In the episode guide, it mentions the word "adopted," however, I do think it was referring to his children, as the word has different meanings. And as for "He and Suu eventually married," this should be centered around Suu's poi, and not Cut's.
      • Fixed. Read the EG again. The kids are 4 and 5 year old, so they can't be Cut's children, since he hadn't even met Suu then. —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 17:00, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
    • "His Recusant-class light destroyer was heavily damaged during the battle, and the general was forced to leave the ship in an escape pod." Where was this happening? IIRC, his destroyer was damaged following the Capture of Eeth Koth, and not the Saleucami battle. Also, please reread this sentence and try to find out what's wrong. Where was this ship when it happened? Is it relevant in Suu's article?
      • Fixed. "Is it relevant in Suu's article?", yes, it is. How else should I explain why the clone troopers were on Saleucami? By the way, Grievous's ship was damaged during the Capture of Eeth Koth and the First Battle of Saleucami. Rewatch the episode if you don't believe me. —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 17:28, January 8, 2010 (UTC)
        • It's you who needs to rewatch the episode. Grievous's ship was never shown to be damaged in the Battle of Saleucami. It gets hit by some debris, but there's no damage. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 04:39, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
          • Yes, good point, Trayus. But why did Grievous escape his ship then, humm? If it weren't damaged, why leave the ship? —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 15:26, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
            • I don't know why Grievous escaped, and neither do you. Speculating doesn't change that. But if I remember correctly, he escaped to avoid being captured. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 01:27, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
              • Fixed. Jawaman
    • There is too much irrelevant information regarding that battle on Saleucami. Go back and remove and condense certain parts.
    • "The remaining clones destroyed both commandos and brought their wounded comrade to Suu's farm." Was it Suu's or Cut's farm? Please be consistent. Also, this sentence isn't factually correct. It sounds like the clones' knew about the homestead, although they didn't.
      • Fixed. Jawaman
    • "Suu, while pointing a blaster rifle at them, asked the troopers what they wanted. Jesse explained that they are not looking for trouble, they just needed a place to tend their injured captain. Suu agreed to help and she lets them stay in the farm" Too play by play. You can condense these choppy sentences to make it flow better.
      • Fixed. Jawaman
    • I'm seeing many grammatical errors and tense issues. I saw a few instances of "is". Present tense should never be in IU articles. Everything in IU articles must be in past tense.
    • "Later, she brought some food to the troopers, and Suu told them that her husband was away for the moment, so he could deliver the first harvest of the season. Rex, still knowing he had a mission to complete, placed Jesse in command and ordered his men to continue the search for Grievous without him." Check your grammar here. Also, please reread these sentences. I don't understand Rex's "mission" and what you meant by "so he could deliver the first harvest of the season.".
      • Fixed. Jawaman
    • "At night, Rex heard an eopie entering the barn." I'm going to simply tell you to go back and correct these "At night" "Later," transitions. Not only they disrupt the flow of the sentences, it's quite confusing. What is this "at night"? Was it after Suu giving the clones' food?
      • Fixed. Jawaman
    • "The farmer Cut sneaked into Rex's room armed with a spear." Rex's room? Also, again, watch your grammar. IIRC, Cut wasn't armed in the beginning. He grabbed his weapon as he entered the room. Also in the next sentence, you mention a "staff". Was it a spear or staff? Be consistent.
      • Fixed. Jawaman
    • The paragraph that beings with "At night," severely needs condensing. It's too play by play, and reads like viewer-poi. (i.e, to go play hide-and-seek). I recommend that you read other character articles to get a sense of what should be included in articles, and what things should not be included.
    • That's it for now. Currently, the article needs much work. However, I wouldn't recommend dropping the nomination, Jawaman. After these issues are fixed, I'll continue on with my review. I recommend that you check your grammar, tense issues, and general redundant play by play information. Articles shouldn't read as a novel, as it's un-encyclopedic. JangFett (Talk) 20:48, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
    • I'm finished, Jang. So you can strike objections, if you agree that they are fixed. Then you will probably make a completely new list, I assume. —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 16:44, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
  3. One more. Please remove the image of her homestead; you can perhaps get the family image back by doing that. Xd1358 Talk 11:16, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
    • Fixed. Jawaman
      • You still have too many images; I'd suggest you remove that "Suu after they discovered the droids". Xd1358 Talk 16:24, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
  4. The Grand Master's first look
    • There are some tense issues at the end of the bio.
    • Also, parts of the bio are too play-by-play.
    • Where in the episode does it indicate that Suu was capable of defending the farm when Cut was away? It definitely shows that she was brave, but this should be attributed to other events in the episode (such as when she confronted the clones).
      • Fixed. Jawaman
        • This doesn't fix the issue, now you say that she used her blaster to scare off the clones; where you have it placed now has nothing to do with her bravery. Also, where in the episode does it say that "she could use a blaster rifle to scare off any intruders?"
    • The personality and traits section needs to be expanded.
    • Remember, characters should be mentioned by their last name as opposed to their first name after their first mention in the intro and body; (i.e. "Lawquane" instead of "Cut")
      • Fixed. Jawaman
    • More to come. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 18:09, January 10, 2010 (UTC)
  5. One glaring issue I'm goning to bring up before I really give a review is that it's never indicated anywhere that Cut's ship was shot down over Saleucami. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 04:39, January 14, 2010 (UTC)
    • I agree, this is not stated anywhere. But how did Cut get on Saleucami then? Did he crash on another planet and did he teleport himself of that rock (always fun to use SW quotes in real live situations.:P) to Saleucami. —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 15:32, January 16, 2010 (UTC)
      • Who knows how he got there, it could have been any number of ways. But we don't assume anything we can't reasonably verify. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 19:11, January 17, 2010 (UTC)
        • Fixed. Jawaman
  6. The article is still rampant with hordes of unnecessary and irrelevant info. Is Lawquane's "crash" directly relevant to Suu? Are the First Battle of Saleucami and Grievous's exploits relevant? No, they are not, because none of these directly affected Suu. The article's spelling and grammar continues to be an issue, preventing this article from even meeting Rule 1 of the GAN Rules, which requires articles to be "well-written" before even being considered for a nomination. My recommendation to you is to take the article off the GAN, work on it, and renominate it once it's in better shape because the nomination process should not have to wait for major changes like this to happen. All of the ACs are available to you for help if you need it, but the nomination is currently lagging, and the article itself is still a ways from GA or even GAN quality. And first and foremost, a GAN needs to be your top priority before anything else on the Wook if you intend to pass it. CC7567 (talk) 19:59, January 23, 2010 (UTC)
    • I know it's still kinda messy. I've been really busy these past weeks (and still am) with homework and all sorts of school projects, so that explains it. I will try to rewrite most of the article today, and if it's still no good or I am still not done, I will take the article of GAN. Any comments are still welcome. —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 12:10, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
      • Just as a note: You're not allowed to remove GANs yourself; you have to ask an AC to remove it, and properly archive it. Xd1358 Talk 12:57, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
        • I have condensed about half of the article. The parts about Grievous and Lawquane are condensed to about 1 to 2 sentences, since they are relevant to the article. How else could you explain how Grievous and the clones got there in the first place? Btw, please keep the comments flowing. :) —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 16:51, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
          • You're still setting it up to just have to expand it again. If you're going to use false facts that Grievous was "forced to flee his Recusant-class light destroyer in an escape pod", then there's no point in condensing it when you'll be asked to clarify it once more. My recommendation to work on this more extensively outside of the nomination process still stands, as I still don't think you understand what we expect. Anything that does not directly affect Suu in any way does not belong in the article. You don't even have to mention information chronology if it is not directly relevant to Suu. I still count six or seven sentences throughout the article that do not directly relate to Suu's actions and instead focus on Rex and Lawquane. This article is not supposed to be a simple summary of the episode, which is still currently what it is—it is an in-universe article from Suu's perspective. Until you can understand that, this nomination process isn't going to be very pleasant for you or those reviewing the article. CC7567 (talk) 18:56, January 24, 2010 (UTC)
            • Oke, I understand now. Thanks for clearing that up. I will clean the article up, only not today, (today, meaning the 25th) because I should be doing homework now. If I do not finish it before 00:00 January 27 (UTC), I will order this GAN to be terminated. —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 19:10, January 25, 2010 (UTC)
              • I'm 'finished'. (before the deadline) —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 17:05, January 26, 2010 (UTC)
                • The article still has a lot of irrelevant information. "After the Battle of Geonosis, a Republic troop transport was shot down by two Separatist gunships. The clone trooper Cut Lawquane survived the crash." is unnecessary and doesn't even clarify that Lawquane deserted the Grand Army. "The remaining clones destroyed both commandos and quickly aided the injured Rex. One of the clones, named Jesse concluded that they were on farmland, after he spotted domesticated eopies in the area." isn't relevant to Suu either. Until you can understand our standards and hone the article to perfection, which is what the ACs expect and you should as well, my recommendation to work on this article outside of the GAN will still stand. CC7567 (talk) 19:53, January 26, 2010 (UTC)
    • It's all fixed now, CC. (with excessive use of the delete and backspace button :P) —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 17:03, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
      • No, it's not. Grammar issues are still rampant with a lack of respect for proper English idioms, and unnecessary information is still in both the bio and the intro that you don't seem to recognize yourself. The ACs aren't here to push you to fix every single little thing as I am now but to review articles that are already close enough to the established standard. Also, my objections are not the only ones that you should be worrying about. CC7567 (talk) 19:08, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
        • "Lack of respect for proper English idioms", first of all: I have not learned English as a native language, I'm Dutch (en ik ben er trots op). My so called "lack of respect" can be explained by this. And if there is something with the grammar, just tell me what to fix, so I can learn from it and improve my grammar. :) —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 19:24, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
          • I'm well aware that English is not your native language, and that isn't an excuse for coming to Wookieepedia with hazy English. People are already expected to know English to a reliable level before even coming here; that's just the way it's done. CC7567 (talk) 21:34, January 27, 2010 (UTC)
            • I'm not using and will not use it as an excuse, as a matter of fact, my English is above average for a 15-year old. There are people on Wookieepedia who live in the UK or US whose grammar is as bad as that of JP (Dutch president with horrible grammar). So if there's a problem with my grammar in any article, just tell me, then I can learn from it and improve my grammar. :) —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 19:03, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
              • Comparing yourself to others does not solve the problem. Every single user who joins Wookieepedia is expected to have adequate English, no matter what country he or she comes from. Furthermore, Wookieepedia is not an English school, which is why you are expected to have good enough grammar skills already. You should be able to catch errors in the article just by proofreading it yourself. CC7567 (talk) 20:29, January 28, 2010 (UTC)
  7. The BTS states that all Twi'lek's have a French accent. You might want to change this to "most", since the latese episode featured a that did not have a Twi'lek with a French accent. --Jedi Kasra (comlink) 17:16, January 26, 2010 (UTC)
    • Fixed. Jawaman

Comments

  • Actually, if a reviewer catches any issues within the article, he or she will list objections under "Object". Please familiarize yourself with the GAN rules above. JangFett (Talk) 19:44, January 6, 2010 (UTC)
  • Not really an objection, just curious: in our Finnish language, "suu" means "mouth". Should this be mentioned in the article BtS dection? Kreivi Wolter 14:18, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
    • It doesn't really add anything to the article, does it? —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 16:03, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
      • It's trivia. And don't strike other users objections, they'll do it themselves when they feel their objection has been satisfied. --Xd1358 Talk 16:12, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
        • I assume you didn't ment me by that "don't strike others objections" part, as I haven't striked any : ) But there are articles like Kalevala and Cato Parasitti, which contains this kind of section in BtS. Kreivi Wolter 16:24, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

I ment Jawaman :) It's either WP:OR or WP:TRIVIA --Xd1358 Talk 16:30, January 7, 2010 (UTC)

  • Well, so be it. Kreivi Wolter 17:03, January 7, 2010 (UTC)
    • I have a crazy example by the way, Kreivi. You know Drol, that "CIS superweapon", it means "turd" in Dutch. Although, it was later added to the trivia section of that article because the Dutch spoken version of that episode replaced the word "drol" with "grol". —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 17:31, January 7, 2010
  • Jawaman, I will take a look at the article sometime later on. JangFett (Talk) 12:20, January 11, 2010 (UTC)

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Unaddressed objections for three weeks. Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 20:20, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
  2. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 20:26, January 31, 2010 (UTC)
  3. ACvote He gone. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:44, January 31, 2010 (UTC)