Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Si-Di-Ri

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Si-Di-Ri

  • Nominated by: 501st dogma(talk) 00:56, November 10, 2012 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: In the next election, vote for Mr. Velociraptor

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Fixed some grammar errors for you, but otherwise looks good. I always liked this story. <-Omicron(Leave a message at the BEEP!) 01:25, November 10, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 05:23, December 12, 2012 (UTC)
  3. Inqvote Clever girl. Menkooroo (talk) 00:10, December 26, 2012 (UTC)
  4. ACvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 04:28, December 30, 2012 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:03, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Shoot her!
  • Seems like there's room for another image, maybe in P&T. Maybe this one? Or if something else from the comic, need a scan of it?
    • I don't realy like that picture, so it would be nice if you scanned one in. How bout a picture of Si during the meeting with the Mon Cala guy?
      • Should have it soon.
        • How's... this? Menkooroo (talk) 15:32, December 10, 2012 (UTC)
          • Thanks for getting the image. It's been added.
  • There's no policy on it, but we generally leave the page number blank when using CSSWEcite in the "Sources" section.
    • Taken care of.
  • At the most recent Mofference, we determined that the title field of succesion boxes should be sourced. See the Layout Guide: "there are six possible fields to insert information, all of which must be sourced."
    • Added.
  • Per that same section of the Layout Guide, question marks shouldn't be used in succession boxes. There should just be a blank before the dash.
    • There.
  • The succession box should include all fields, and after-years should be filled in. Menkooroo (talk) 12:41, December 9, 2012 (UTC)
    • That should do it. Thanks for taking the time to review. 501st dogma(talk) 13:08, December 9, 2012 (UTC)
  • President shouldn't be linked to since it's a disambiguation page --- it might be worth creating an article for the Tiss'sharl League prez.
    • Fixed.
  • The image in the bio is pretty small; I can't really make out any of the people it depicts. Any chance of making it bigger?
    • Better?
  • "Politics on Tiss'sharl commonly used assassinations, and Si-Di-Ri used these..." Can you vary up the use of "used?" Especially because it sounds a bit off to say that "politics used..." (makes 'politics' sound like a person).
    • Done.
  • "the Rebel Timi Rotramel, a Mon Calamari Senator." Shouldn't it be "former senator" since the Imperial Senate has already been disbanded? The date's already been established as 0 ABY.
    • TCWSE seems to indicate that Si was supplying them before it was disbanded, and the comic makes it seem that Rotramel has not seen Si since the disbandment. That make any sense?
  • Keep in mind our capitalization policy on ranks and titles for things like "senator" and "president" --- they shouldn't be capitalized when they're referring to the rank itself rather than a person.
    • I think I got them all.
  • Can you cut down on the final sentence of the bio's first paragraph? It's a bit repetitive and a bit play-by-play. I think it could say what it needs to say in less words.
    • Cut it down.
  • The final two paragraphs of the bio also seem like they could be tightened up; right now they seem to describe every line spoken by and every action taken by the characters. Can you turn them into less detailed summaries? Menkooroo (talk) 10:22, December 10, 2012 (UTC)
    • I cut a bit out. Is that anybetter?
  • OK, some final ones: I agree with Code-8 that that one sentence was run-on, but I noticed that you removed any mention of Astre-De-Kay --- if he was good friends with Si-Di-Ri, I feel like he should be mentioned at the beginning of the bio, maybe when the concept of assassination is introduced.
    • Is that any better.
  • Check the punctuation on the final image caption.
    • There.
  • Common practice seems to be the link every date in succession boxes, even if they've already been linked.
    • Done.
  • And one more: After having read the bio, I think the end of the intro is a little unclear: "Following a failed assassination attempt against Si-Di-Ri, Darth Vader used him to lure out a representative from the Alliance to Restore the Republic, after Si-Di-Ri tried to deal with the Alliance." is a little confusing; can you expand it and make it more clear as to what happens? The bio's long enough that expanding the intro by a sentence or two wouldn't be amiss. See what you can do. Menkooroo (talk) 04:15, December 17, 2012 (UTC)
    • I;ve expanded it a bit. Does that make it any more clear? 501st dogma(talk) 13:48, December 23, 2012 (UTC)
      • The intro now states that the assassination attempt against Si-Di-Ri comes at the order of Geor-Dan-Thi, which is something the article didn't state before (and which still can't be found outside of the intro). Also, I don't think you need to pipelink "Alliance to Restore the Republic" to "Alliance" in the intro; it's not clear what that "Alliance" is. Menkooroo (talk) 13:52, December 23, 2012 (UTC)
        • Removed the pipelink and the reference to Geor, as there is no proof he is actualy behind it. Thanks for looking it over. 501st dogma(talk) 15:11, December 23, 2012 (UTC)
          • Nice. Some final notes: I changed the ndashes in the quotes to mdashes and the ... to & hellip ; (but with no spaces), and I changed "out" to "our" in the leading quote. Let me know if that last one's wrong. Menkooroo (talk) 00:10, December 26, 2012 (UTC)
CC-8
  • The first sentence of the bio's second paragraph seems to run on a fair bit
    • I reworded it a bit. Does that work now?
      • Its still a run-on, I think you could cut some off if you said "including Vice President Geor-Dan-Thi, who had risen to his rank by assasinating Tiss'shar, such as Si-Di-Ri's close friend Astre-Dee-Kay. Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 05:22, December 11, 2012 (UTC)
        • That's important stuff. I cut a bit out.
  • Can't the Galactic Empire and (maybe) the Rebel Alliance be put in the infobox as the affiliation
    • I don't think so. He's more loyal to the league. 501st dogma(talk) 21:50, December 11, 2012 (UTC)
  • I love quotes so are you sure there aren't any ones you could add? Commander Code-8 To say hi, press 42 09:03, December 10, 2012 (UTC)
    • Wow. Forgot to add em. There they are. Thanks for the review. 501st dogma(talk) 22:15, December 10, 2012 (UTC)
Floyd
  • I think in the intro you should mention exactly what the Tiss'sharl League was. By saying that they sell cartridges, you leave the possibility that it could be a business rather than a government.
  • "Si-Di-Ri attended the dinner, and was accompanied by other League members, such as Vice President Geor-Dan-Thi, who had rapidly risen to his rank following a series of assassinations that had paved the way for his current position after they killed off certain Tiss'shar, including Astre-De-Kay." This sentence kinda drags on and probably should be split up or reworded.
  • Nice work. IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:00, December 26, 2012 (UTC)
    • All done. Thanks for looking it over. 501st dogma(talk) 21:55, December 28, 2012 (UTC)
Toprawa
  • Excellent job overall. One objection/question. Are these blaster cartridges intended to be Blaster power packs? Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 04:44, December 30, 2012 (UTC)
    • I guess so, added. Thanks for looking it over. 501st dogma(talk) 13:45, December 30, 2012 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 18:03, December 30, 2012 (UTC)


  • A Politics Barnburner nomination.