Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Shylar

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Shylar

• Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 21:09, July 31, 2014 (UTC)
• Nomination comments: Dooku is a sadistic bastard.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

1. 501st dogma^(talk) 00:08, August 9, 2014 (UTC)
2. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 13:32, August 23, 2014 (UTC)
3. Good work.—Jedi Kasra ("Indeed.") 15:54, August 29, 2014 (UTC)
4. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 14:23, September 2, 2014 (UTC)
5. Exiled Jedi (Greetings) 02:11, September 13, 2014 (UTC)
6. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 04:46, September 16, 2014 (UTC)

Object

501st

• Is the [1][2][3] really necessary for the reffing of her death date in the infobox, or is this because [2][3] is required to tell that she died on Antar 4?
  • Well as it is not said that she was killed in [2], so I have to add [3] to source this. And to source that it was add that date, I need [1].
• First sentence of the second paragraph you use [2] twice in a row. I'd remove it myself, but I don't know if you meant for one of them not be 2.
  • Corrected.
• Um, any further details on what she was tortured with? The Bio quote seems to say that a device was used. Care to mention that? 501st dogma^(talk) 20:39, August 8, 2014 (UTC)
  • Added. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 21:38, August 8, 2014 (UTC)

QGJ

• However, she was captured and soon the subject of intensive torture by Dooku and his Dark Jedi Kadrian Sey in a containment field. Some word is missing here.
  • Better?
    • Not quite what I meant, but also a good correction. I have fixed this one myself, but try to keep a sharper eye on such mistakes. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 13:32, August 23, 2014 (UTC)
• Do we have an article for Dooku's retreat on Antar 4?
  • Done.
• Good job otherwise. QuiGonJinn ^(Talk) 13:04, August 22, 2014 (UTC)
  • Thanks a lot. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 10:24, August 23, 2014 (UTC)

Cav

• "Vos revealed the history to the Council[3]" - what history? His time with Dooku, or his relationship with Shylar? - Sir Cavalier of One^{(Squadron channel)} 19:35, August 26, 2014 (UTC)
• Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 20:33, September 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • The last. Fixed. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 10:06, August 27, 2014 (UTC)

Toprawa

• The infobox says she has light skin, and the P/T says she has tan skin. Choose one and keep it consistent. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 13:58, September 2, 2014 (UTC)
  • Done. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 14:18, September 2, 2014 (UTC)

Winterz

• "...Dooku and his Dark Jedi Kadrian Sey (...)", I really don't like how you put it. You need to contextualize it better and having a link to the Dark Acolytes (some way) would also improve it a ton.
  • Better?
• Context on the Council of Reconciliation.
  • Have a look.
• In the Bts and subsequent Appearances sections, it's probably better if you remove the hologram part. It is more relevant when the subject appears as a hologram in real time. In flashbacks, it's really unnecessary to specify the way he appeared but this is more of a suggestion, you choose. Winterz (talk) 22:20, September 2, 2014 (UTC)
• Objection(s) overridden by AgriCorps 20:33, September 10, 2014 (UTC)
  • Removed and thanks for the review. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 10:15, September 3, 2014 (UTC)

Floyd

• I really think the intro should be beefed up a little. At the least, something about Vos could be added.
  • Beefed up.
• "Eventually withdrawing from the Confederacy, Vos reported back to the Council of Reconciliation, the Jedi Order's body that passed judgment over fallen Jedi, and his former Master, Tholme, in 20 BBY, after coming out of cover." So, many, comma, clauses. IFYLOFD ^{(Enter the Floydome)} 03:54, September 15, 2014 (UTC)
  • Have a look now. Clone Commander Lee ^Talk 10:58, September 15, 2014 (UTC)

Comments

• Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 04:43, September 16, 2014 (UTC)