Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Sev's ARC trooper

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Sev's ARC trooper

  • Nominated by: —Jedi Kasra (comlink) 00:47, August 31, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Last relevant character in The Order of Outcasts. Go ARCs!!!

(5 ACs/1 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote—Tommy 9281 01:21, September 3, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Clone Commander Lee Talk 07:38, September 3, 2010 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 08:08, September 3, 2010 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Too much Order of Outcasts. :P -- Xd (Talk) 17:43, September 4, 2010 (UTC)
  5. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 00:25, September 5, 2010 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Jonjedigrandmaster (Talk) 04:00, September 5, 2010 (UTC)

Object

Hide ya kids, hide ya wife…
  • "This clone of the Mandalorian bounty hunter Jango Fett was bred on the world of Kamino, and was among the one hundred clones that were personally trained by Fett as Advanced Recon Commandos to serve on the Galactic Republic's behalf." The "this" in the beginning of the sentence needs to be changed, which would probably cause you to have to rework the entire sentence, something I am confident in your ability to do.
  • Same deal with the first sentence in the P&T section.
    • And done, added "man" in place of "this."—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:03, August 31, 2010 (UTC)
      • There was another in the first sentence of the bio, but I honestly don't see another way around the way hou have it.—Tommy 9281 01:21, September 3, 2010 (UTC)
  • Good show, lil' homie.—Tommy 9281 01:42, August 31, 2010 (UTC)
Run to the hills, run for your lives
  • Intro: you mention "his outcast allies". What allies, you never mentioned them before.
  • Bio: You say that they attacked Sev, but not that he killed several troopers.
    • I'm not entirely sure that this is relevant to the ARC, this is more about Sev's ability than anything.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 21:26, August 31, 2010 (UTC)
  • Picture for the body?
  • Nice guy. More such characters! Clone Commander Lee Talk 12:27, August 31, 2010 (UTC)
ARC-welding with Cav
  • The end needs resolution. You say they attacked the village—what happened there and what was the outcome? I see we have an article for it. Even if the ARC trooper wasn't personally involved in the assault, a resolution to the conflict is needed at the least. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:11, September 1, 2010 (UTC)
Xd's ARC trooper
  • Please do not link the bolded words in the intro. When on the main page (yes, I do realize that this is a GAN), the bolded words are used to link to the article.
    • Done. Some want it linked, others don't.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:21, September 4, 2010 (UTC)
  • "..to secure a base.." Is there any indication in the comic what kind of base this is, like Separatist or something? This applies for the bio as well.
    • They were supposed to find and secure a suitable place for a Republic base, so I added "for the Republic."—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:21, September 4, 2010 (UTC)
  • "The commando and the other soldiers immediately executed Sah, traveled down to planet's surface and attacked the village where Sah and the outcasts whom he formed an alliance with were based." The killed him and traveled to the village where he was? :O Do you mean that the guys slew Sev—that's what you say in the bio.
  • "..aboard the Venator-class Star Destroyer" 'The' implies that the Star Destroyer has been introduced already, however, there's no context on it. 'A' instead of 'the' would be better.
    • Added "Sev's" before the mention of the Star Destroyer.—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:21, September 4, 2010 (UTC)
  • Doesn't murder mean that the kill is planned? In this case, it is like "We got Order 66, let's kill 'em."—the clones do not really plan it. I might be wrong however.
    • When you put it that way… it's reworded.—Jedi Kasra (comlink)
      • "..who instructed him to execute Order 66 and execute Sev." Execute and execute? Synonym, plz! :P -- 1358 (Talk) 09:04, September 4, 2010 (UTC)
  • "After the Weequay's demise.." What Weequay? This is the first mention of any Weequay in the body.
  • "Having been an ARC trooper, the man.." What do you mean; that he has been an ARC but he's not anymore? I think you could cut out "Having been."
    • Well, all of the articles are written from the past tense, doesn't make any sense to say "As an ARC trooper…" and then have it say "the man was personally trained…"—Jedi Kasra (comlink) 04:21, September 4, 2010 (UTC)
  • -- 1358 (Talk) 18:02, September 3, 2010 (UTC)
  • Just one more: You have context on Order 66 in the intro, yet not in the bio. Add it to the bio, too? -- 1358 (Talk) 16:56, September 4, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 04:00, September 5, 2010 (UTC)