Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Scrambling charge

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was unsuccessful. Please do not modify it.

Scrambling charge

  • Nominated by: AxMech (talk) 22:42, 24 September 2023 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments:
  • Date Archived: 03:51, 20 October 2023 (UTC)
  • Final word count: 405 words (113 introduction, 249 body, 43 behind the scenes)
  • WookieeProject (optional):

(0 ACs/0 Users/0 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. Additional 2 user or 1 AC votes required to pass.)

Support

Object

Lewis
  • Still infobox exclusive info, specifically regarding the affiliations
    • Added to the article body and intro
      • They both need to be included or pipelinked in the body as well, currently you only added one in the intro
        • Done
          • This hasn't been fully addressed
  • The intro could use a date and context for the dam
    • Added
      • You shouldn't break up the Aldhani dam link like that, maybe it would be better to say 'stored in an Imperial dam on the planet Aldahni' or something
        • Fixed, I think?
          • Now Aldahni needs context
            • Fixed
  • There's a bit of underlinking still, saboteur, detonator could be pipelinked in somewhere for example
    • Added whatever I could find
  • Looking at Rhasiv and Corv in regards to BTS, you don't need the extra ref for the episode number
    • Removed
  • The body could use another image Lewisr (talk) 22:53, 24 September 2023 (UTC)
    • Added from Aldhani heistAxMech (talk) 23:14, 24 September 2023 (UTC)
      • Is there no other image relevant to the charge?
        • Only another close up where all the lights are on, it's basically identical to the infobox imageAxMech (talk) 23:52, 24 September 2023 (UTC)
          • Fair enough, thanks for checking! Then please remember about periods at the end of image captions with a full sentence
            • Fixed
  • Please remove the gender link from the pronoun Lewisr (talk) 23:28, 24 September 2023 (UTC)
    • Done
  • I would recommend doing a copy-edit for grammar, punctuation, and any basic errors Lewisr (talk) 23:45, 24 September 2023 (UTC)
    • Not sure what needs to be fixed, I've double checked everything?
      • It was just a general message
  • To confirm, the pronouns are citable to the episode? Lewisr (talk) 17:17, 25 September 2023 (UTC)
    • That's a tricky situation. Apparently the article on Jayhold Beehaz describes him as male, indeed citing the Eye as a source; however it lacks any infobox pronouns or specific mentions of where this was confirmed. I checked the episode and nobody calls Beehaz a "he", so I changed "his family" to "their".AxMech (talk) 21:51, 25 September 2023 (UTC)
      • And Kimzi?
        • Same for them, changed their pronouns as well
          • Okay thanks. Are you able to check the audio description in the event they are used in that?
          • Double checked, I can't find any mention of Kimzi as "he", however Beehaz is mentioned ("he approaches the chief")
            • Then you should cite Jayhold's to the AD
              • Added extra ref
  • Who is Kenzi? I assume a misspelling of Kimzi? Lewisr (talk) 22:13, 25 September 2023 (UTC)
    • Auto-correct, fixed
  • Who is the other speaker in the quote? Lewisr (talk) 22:17, 25 September 2023 (UTC)
  • You switch between comms officer and communications technician when it comes to Kimzi in the quote caption and the intro/body. You should stick with one, and it seems Communications Officer would be the more appropriate of the two
    • Wasn't aware of this term, replaced all mentions with thisAxMech (talk) 22:46, 25 September 2023 (UTC)
  • We don't use TV as an acronym, please change the wording to something more appropriate Lewisr (talk) 14:46, 27 September 2023 (UTC)
    • Replaced with televisionAxMech (talk) 20:13, 28 September 2023 (UTC)
      • Mentioning that it is live-action would be appropriate as well Lewisr (talk) 22:54, 28 September 2023 (UTC)
Anil
  • The comms tower and "spymaster" are mentioned only in the intro. TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 12:45, 26 September 2023 (UTC)
Fan
  • The context for the header quote is way too long
    • Trimmed it a bit, lmk if it's okay
      • I'm seeing zero change Fan26 (Talk) 18:31, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
        • Idk where you got that from; I removed the references to the sector, the quarterly payroll as the objective of the heist, and the result of the firefight
          • That is not what I asked for; I said the context for the header quote not information in the intro itself―the sentence "Kimzi notes the malfunction of the Aldhani dam communications tower due to the detonation of a scrambling charge to an Army trooper" really has to be shortened, it's way too long for the context of a quote. Fan26 (Talk) 18:42, 3 October 2023 (UTC)
            • My bad. I had a little trouble fixing the quote as it needs to have some mention of the scrambling charge and, as per Lew's request, identify both speakers; I opted to imply the use of the charge through the context given
  • Mentioning Luthen in the body is unneeded context Fan26 (Talk) 18:36, 28 September 2023 (UTC)
    • A reviewer above requested that I add it both to the intro and article bodyAxMech (talk) 20:13, 28 September 2023 (UTC)
      • Looking through the above objections, no there was a request to fix some infobox-exclusive info. The intro only needs the most immediate context-Vel's team-not that they were part of a network run by a spymaster named Luthen; that's context for the body. Fan26 (Talk) 18:31, 29 September 2023 (UTC)
        • Fixed
          • You now need to clarify that Vel and Cinta were rebel operatives; as it is currently, they're just contextualised as "operatives" and are only indirectly identified as rebels when the intro later refers to their "fellow rebels". Fan26 (Talk) 18:42, 3 October 2023 (UTC)
            • Yeah, that was removed when I misunderstood your header quote objection above, sorry. Fixed it
  • There's definitely a better choice to be made regarding an image in the body of a related subject. Something like Vel as the person who placed it or a shot of the dam as the location it was used, as opposed to a group of Imperials and rebels standing around after the charge was used. Fan26 (Talk) 18:52, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
    • Replaced with another imageAxMech (talk) 19:58, 30 September 2023 (UTC)
      • This isn't really a good image choice either-of the four people visible in that image, only one of them-Cinta-was part of the pair which placed the charge and she's not the most prominent figure in the image. Fan26 (Talk) 18:42, 3 October 2023 (UTC)
        • Replaced with an image of Kimzi; running out of ideasAxMech (talk) 18:17, 12 October 2023 (UTC)

Comments

Vote to remove nomination (AC only)

  1. ACvote Objection from me 25 days unaddressed, attempt to contact the nominator over getting it resolved went unanswered Lewisr (talk) 03:48, 20 October 2023 (UTC)
  2. ACvote TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders Anıl Şerifoğlu (talk) 03:49, 20 October 2023 (UTC)
  3. ACvote —spookywillowwtalk 03:50, 20 October 2023 (UTC)