Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Rikel

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Rikel

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Did a copy-edit and smoothed out some prose. It may require another to catch what I missed, but it meets my standards. Trak Nar Ramble on 04:47, August 28, 2013 (UTC)
  2. ACvote IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 23:41, September 3, 2013 (UTC)
  3. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 23:01, September 21, 2013 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 20:47, September 23, 2013 (UTC)
  5. ACvote 1358 (Talk) 20:25, September 26, 2013 (UTC)

Object

El Jefe
  • P&T quote?
    • The only mentions of Rikel are thoughts in someone's head, unless this "Destroy Coruscant. Show them what this station is made of. We have reconnaissance ships in the Coruscant system, don't we? They'll get excellent recordings."-Rikel could be used to showcase his desire for revenge?
  • There should be a mention of the war in the intro.
    • Done
  • Also, Rikel's death has to be mentioned in the intro.
    • Done
  • "Rikel was a male individual who was secretly married because neither his family, nor hers, approved of them being together." I really dislike the way you introduce this. You make no real mention of who he was married to.
    • Fury as well as the CSWE only say they were married in secret due to their families, and that she was arrested early in the war and was positively identified as being dead.
  • Context on the Second Galactic Civil War.
    • Done?
  • Also, we need context on Centerpoint Station... in both the intro and the body.
    • Done
  • "and after his eighth cup of caf, he would embody his own nickname." How so?
    • Fury doesn't give more context than that.
  • Context on the Anakin Solo.
    • Done
  • Why do you keep calling him Vibro? It's not his name.
    • Fixed
  • Get rid of the one-line paragraph.
    • Done
  • "The Jedi could not allow Solo to have control of the station, nor anyone else," Why not?
    • Done
  • "After Sadras Koyan, Prime Minister of the Five Worlds, asked what had happened, Vibro gave him a more simplistic explanation of the events and the malfunctions on the station. The Anakin Solo was not destroyed by Centerpoint Station, Solo was not killed, and the Galactic Alliance found out that the station was operational again." Timing seems off here. Which of these events come first?
    • Rearranged it a bit
  • Context on Denjax Teppler and Admiral Delpin.
    • Done
  • Context on Hollowtown. IFYLOFD (Enter the Floydome) 04:45, September 2, 2013 (UTC)
Cav
  • which he did during a battle at a rendezvous point between Galactic Alliance and Corellian forces. - this makes it sound as if the GA and Corellians were rendezvousing, which, since they were at war, seems unlikely
    • Changed it a bit
  • Context on the Confederation.
    • Added a bit in
  • Why were security sweeps occurring on Coruscant, and why was Rikel's wife detained in one?
    • Mentioned what started the security sweeps, but Fury never explicitly mentions why she was arrested
  • Some expansion on the events surrounding the battle of rendezvous point is needed - why, where, etc
    • Done
  • Why was the station imprinted on Anakin?
    • Done
  • Explanation on why the Jedi are opposing the GA is needed.
    • Done
  • What info did Teppler pass to Koyan?
    • Done
  • Why did Koyan board an Alliance shuttle? - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 12:29, September 10, 2013 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Please note that any ellipsis added manually (i.e. not present in the original text) needs to be inserted in brackets, like so: […] If this is the case for the Bio quote, please fix it.
    • I copy/pasted from a PDF so I removed that first period, but the book does have the three periods
  • Context on Coruscant in the Bio.
  • "After it fired on the Anakin Solo, the flagship of the joint Chief of State of the Galactic Alliance Jacen Solo, and the Galactic Alliance Second Fleet in an attempt to kill Solo in a battle at a point in space between Coruscant and Corellia, Centerpoint overloaded; a side effect of trying to override the security locks which had imprinted on the young Jedi Anakin Solo during the First Corellian Insurrection when he used the Force to take control of the station." This is definitely a run-on sentence, which makes it hard to follow. Please split it up into one sentence (or more than one) to better explain the incident.
    • Done?
  • Any images that can be added to the article? Perhaps of Centerpoint?
    • Placed an image of Centerpoint on the left between the 1st and 2nd paragraphs of the bio
  • The Five Worlds need to be mentioned earlier than where they currently are in the Bio for context. Try to see if you can incorporate the Five Worlds toward the beginning of the Bio, particularly in relation to the Confederation itself.
    • Done?
  • Does his "fellow technician" require an article?
    • She looked at Rikel, asked what he was doing, and later he hissed at her to get her attention. That's all Fury says about her.
      • The unique dialogue should be grounds for notability, in my opinion, so please create an article (or at least link to one) for her. CC7567 (talk) 20:14, September 21, 2013 (UTC)
        • I'm working on that now.
        • Made - Unidentified female technician (Centerpoint) Trip391 (talk) 22:32, September 21, 2013 (UTC)
          • Just a note—I moved it because there previously wasn't another article occupying Unidentified female technician, so the parenthetical disambiguation wasn't necessary. CC7567 (talk) 23:01, September 21, 2013 (UTC)
  • It would help to explicitly state that Rikel died at the end of the Bio. CC7567 (talk) 04:41, September 21, 2013 (UTC)
    • Done Trip391 (talk) 05:48, September 21, 2013 (UTC)
      • Please check this; I'm not seeing a change. CC7567 (talk) 20:14, September 21, 2013 (UTC)
        • Whoops, I put it in now.
  • "when he used the Force to take control of the station": is there a specific Force power article that should be linked here, perhaps telekinesis? CC7567 (talk) 20:14, September 21, 2013 (UTC)
    • Showdown at Centerpoint doesn't mention any specific Force power, only that Anakin "let go of his conscious feelings, reached out with the Force, and made it feel right" Trip391 (talk) 21:56, September 21, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:25, September 26, 2013 (UTC)