Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Rajine

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Rajine

  • Nominated by: Jedi Kasra (comlink) 01:50, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: A vampiress…

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 19:45, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Images would be nice, thought. Kreivi Wolter 12:36, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:09, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol (We seed the stars) 20:51, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
  5. --Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:09, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
  6. Good article, literally. Bonbondoodle 20:34, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Object

  1. If she was no longer a member of the Jedi Order I would give her a different infobox. Either Dark Jedi or the basic character infobox. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 09:36, February 17, 2010 (UTC)
    • You're right, changed to normal character infobox, since there is no evidence she was a Dark Jedi.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 02:37, February 18, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Attack of the Clone
    • Please establish a time frame in both the intro and body.
    • Can the city and planet get linked?
      • Don't see how. Are they really important enough for their own articles?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
        • If they exist in canon and are unique, I fail to see why they don't. CC7567 (talk) 21:43, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
    • "The Jedi Master's Force powers: specifically how, seeing as he's dead?
      • That is what Z-18 tells Windu in the comic.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
    • Please avoid starting two consecutive sentences with "After" in the body.
    • Please employ the proper capitalization that the MOS provides for titles.
    • Was she Force-sensitive or not?
      • Since she was a Jedi, then yes, she was.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
        • I see absolutely nothing in the article that reflects this, which is why I asked in the first place. CC7567 (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
          • So should I add that she was a Force-sensitive? I didn't think that was needed for Jedi-related articles.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:30, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
            • At the very least, you need to add the proper category. CC7567 (talk) 01:02, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
    • "Rajine informed him that it was because she had been draining his life-force." So what does that say about what she began to do from the instant that Windu arrived in her city?
      • Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
        • That means that you need to say, "When Windu arrived in the city, Rajine began to drain his life force." CC7567 (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
          • Done.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
            • Starting two consecutive sentences off with "After" resurrects the same problem that I asked you to fix earlier. CC7567 (talk) 01:02, March 9, 2010 (UTC)
    • Why did Z-18 have to free Windu?
      • Since his intentions were not relevant to Rajine, I didn't add anything. Please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
        • No, that's not what I meant. If he has to be freed, you're implying that he was imprisoned somehow. Kindly clarify. CC7567 (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
          • I added "After imprisoning him" in the paragraph above, which should clarify it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:26, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
    • Please make sure that every detail in the last paragraph of the Bio is completely relevant to Rajine and shorten it if possible.
    • "She punched Windu, knocking the Jedi to the ground. She also used Windu's lightsaber to destroy Z-18, remarking that she should not have kept the droid after Samuro died. Windu revealed that he had Samuro's holocron and activated it." Extremely p-b-p. The jump from her sending her minions out to find Windu to punching him is rather sudden and unexplained.
    • Most of the P&T sounds like it's just copied from the Bio and doesn't show what sort of impact her actions had on her personality. Please try to expand it.
      • Not much to work with, please try it.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
    • No more images that can be added from the comic?
      • Well, there are, but I can't scan any images and upload them.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:48, March 7, 2010 (UTC)
        • So can someone else with the comic upload them, then? CC7567 (talk) 02:57, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
          • I'll ask around.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:30, March 8, 2010 (UTC)
            • As I'm not that much of a stickler about images, I'll strike this so that it doesn't hold up the nomination, but please still try to find another image to add to the article. (If you can't get any more images focusing on her, you might consider adding any of the already uploaded ones with a caption to clarify its relevancy to her.) CC7567 (talk) 05:05, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
    • I will be running through this with you one more time to make sure that it's in good shape. Please continue to work on your grammar. CC7567 (talk) 05:02, March 6, 2010 (UTC)
    • In the intro, how is Windu's search for Alpha-2 Squad relevant to Rajine? Please clarify this better without saying the exact same thing that the body does.
    • I rather doubt that the clones of Alpha-2 Squad were dead if they simply reawakened after Windu freed their life-forces. Windu's beliefs aren't necessarily the canonical interpretation of the events.
      • Rajine's, Samuro's, and Z-18's entries in the CSWE state that they are indeed zombies.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
        • Then if the CSWE states that, you need to source it to there. However, the sources are clearly conflicting unless a "zombie" is still alive, because the clones and the rest of her victims quite obviously weren't dead when they reawakened after they were freed. Please find a way to clear up this issue. CC7567 (talk) 21:58, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
          • It's sourced there, but I don't think I'll be able to find any canon way of clearing this issue up.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 23:24, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
            • Perhaps ignoring the CSWE's interpretation and adding a Bts note on why you're doing so? Leaving the issue there isn't going to solve it—it needs to be addressed one way or another unless it's completely impossible to do so, which I don't believe that it is. CC7567 (talk) 05:05, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
              • Is this good?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:40, March 12, 2010 (UTC)
                • Is there a better way to clarify what you're specifically doing in the article? Saying something like "This article assumes that the comic's interpretation of the facts is correct" will help to confirm why exactly you're bringing the issue up. CC7567 (talk) 04:42, March 13, 2010 (UTC)
    • Limit the use of "freed" in the intro.
    • Is there any significance to Z-18's line that Rajine had expected Windu?
    • Is there any significance to Rajine's line, "Perhaps, but I'll live far longer than you"?
      • I added a bit more to the second paragraph of the bio, including this.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 14:01, March 11, 2010 (UTC)
    • Please check the article against the comic to make sure that everything necessary is there. CC7567 (talk) 04:56, March 10, 2010 (UTC)
  3. Toprawa:
    • This article's P/T almost completely misses the point of the section. The article treats this P/T more like a general summary of the article rather than focusing solely on Rajine's personality. I would suggest completely rewriting this from scratch and narrowing your focus from summary to specific personality traits. The P/T may, as a result, turn out to be much shorter. That's not a bad thing if that's the only information available.
      • OK, could you please try it?--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:05, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
        • The P/T is still pretty bad, and still reads far too much like a general summary of the events of the biography. Read this. This is what a good P/T looks and reads like. Note how this example mentions specific personality traits: The character is an accomplished commander. The character is cunning. The character has a prominent ego, etc. Those are personality traits. In Rajine's P/T, the bit describing how she condescended to Z-18 is exactly what I'm looking for. The rest of it needs to be rewritten more like the example I've provided. Use that as a model. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:07, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
          • How about now? I didn't have much to go with by way of dialogue, so.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 19:31, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
            • Better. I think you could also mention something about how she once served the Jedi Order but left or whatever the case is, and how Samuro recognized the threat she posed. Depending on what you have, some of this may be good for the P/A too. Up to you. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:45, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
              • Eh, I really didn't have much to work with for the Jedi info, but I think I got everything. Not enough info for the P&A.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 20:04, March 19, 2010 (UTC)
    • These two BTS sentences makes absolutely no sense. The first suggests that the comic depiction is in error or otherwise inconsistent, but then the second sentence states that the article assumes this same depiction is canon. What? "However, in the comic, Rajine's victims are depicted as coming back to life after Mace Windu and Samuro's image recite an incantation that frees the people from Rajine's control.[1] This article assumes that the comic's interpretation of the facts is correct." Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:08, March 17, 2010 (UTC)
      • I've removed the second sentence, is this what you were looking for, or was it something else? I'm not the best when in comes to inconsistencies in canon, so please advise.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 13:26, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
        • I still fail to see the continuity inconsistency. Is it that zombies aren't supposed to come back to life? Because who says that can't happen in the Star Wars universe? Is there any bit of conflicting information in the source material that is not included in this article because it is inconsistent with something else? If the answer is no, I would recommend removing this entirely. Toprawa and Ralltiir 18:07, March 18, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Hi
    • In the intro, "She slowly drained Windu's life-force and imprisoned him. However, Z-18 freed Windu and gave him Samuro's holocron." Two things. First, please add somthing like "When Windu entered the city, she began to drain...", because it makes it sound as if she completely drained Windu's life forces. Second, could you try to combine the two sentences, I hate having small sentences when they can be put together.
      • Taken care of, it's a longer sentence now, so I really don't feel the need to combine them.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:35, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
    • Bringing up what CC said earlier, I think it is a good idea to put in that she was Force-sensitive, if not in the intro then at least in the P&a section.
      • I'm not so sure, I feel there is no need to add that she was Force-sensitive, since it states that she was a Jedi.--Jedi Kasra (comlink) 16:35, March 20, 2010 (UTC)
        • Fair enough.
    • In the main body, "...Rajine continued to drain the life-forces out of sentients, turning them into zombies to do her bidding." This isn't anything major, but can you put in the word mindless or something similar to this, just because you used that word in the intro.
    • Nice article overall. Bonbondoodle 05:59, March 20, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 20:38, March 20, 2010 (UTC)