Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/RC-1207

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

RC-1207

  • Nominated by:RC-1136 Copy 17:07, 7 June 2008 (UTC)
  • Nomination Comments:Done a large over haul I think its ready for GA now, but what ever happens I'm sure you will point out some things that will help me improve the article RC-1136 Copy 17:07, 7 June 2008 (UTC)

(+5)

Support

  1. Seems much better. Chack Jadson (Talk) 19:16, 17 June 2008 (UTC)
  2. Nice work :) Aqua Unasi 18:46, 22 June 2008 (UTC)
  3. Great Article Mando Warrior 13:17, 23 July 2008 (UTC)
  4. Jedimca0(Do or Do Not, There is No Try) 23:20, 29 July 2008 (UTC)
  5. Good DarthBlurrrComlink 15:16, 16 August 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. Chack:
    • Needs a longer intro and a BTS. Chack Jadson (Talk) 14:44, 8 June 2008 (UTC)
    • "Sev had experience combating Battle Droids,Geonosians and Trandoshans." Uneeded
    • What are Black Ops?
      • Explation there now RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • ...due to the fact that Boss had met the rest of the squad on the way to the rendezvous." I’d say this is unnecessary.
      • Hmm... I left it in because the end of that paragraph is mainly introducing Boss and beacause I've tryed to make that explantion fit in with the flow it needed that to make it make sence (if you get what I mean) but if you still think it should be got rid of just say again and I will happily remove it RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • What room did they infiltrate?
      • His Planning room, I belive RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
        • actually I know know :), the adivisor says so, RC-1136 Copy 16:01, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • The first sentence in that paragraph is a run-on.
      • Once they infiltrated the planning room the squad quickly set about killing all occupants, despite this Sun Fac escaped to a landing pad, leaving two Super Battle Droids to cover his back? I don't see how thats a run-on, Probly just me being blind RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Please correct your link to 1138 too.
    • The second paragraph in Geonosis needs more explanation. It could also be written better to make it more interesting.
      • Did you mean the bit about the core ship and the jamming device? well I expanded those, RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • The paragraph about the Prosecutor does too. Expound on things more.
      • added a small amount, is it enough? RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • You use however too many times in the second paragraph of Mission with Omegas.
      • However, now I don't :) RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Also, your apostrophes are wrong in several cases there.
      • I didn't use any incorrect apostrophes. at lest not in Mission with Omegas. Some where else? RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Give some context on Skuuma and de-link the second time it’s mentioned.
      • Delinked, also added a bit of information about its location RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Can the Mid Clone Wars section be expanded at all?
      • Not really, I added five words *looks chuffed* RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Why did she want Skirata to get there first?
      • He I think you ment, I added a bit about Juskin explaning why he gave info to Kal RC-1136 Copy 08:20, 13 June 2008 (UTC)
    • The last sentence in P&T is present tense.
    • I'd move the first sentence in appearance up to P&T and get ride of that section, as there is little info.
    • You mention something about 36's squad? What is that? Chack Jadson (Talk) 17:41, 15 June 2008 (UTC)
      • I can't remember the exact words, but just before going into the catacombs Advisor says something like: "deltas, as you already know 36's squad have been lost while investigating a jamming device that's blocking our scopes" there has been much speculation over whether 36's squad is in fact RC-1136s original squad, but as it is only speculation it has been left out the article RC-1136 Copy 09:06, 16 June 2008 (UTC)
  2. Aqua Unasi
    • A very nice article, but it still needs a little work to be a GA. Main thing: the article's punctuation is, pretty bad. Some parts of the article entire paragraphs are written as one sentence, using commas in places of periods which makes it very difficult to follow it and read through it. I went through and tried to clean it up a bit, but in some places I didn't know exactly what it was trying to say. Here's a spot, for example:
      • Once they infiltrated the room the squad quickly set about killing all occupants, despite this Sun Fac escaped to a landing pad, leaving two Super Battle Droids to cover his back, Delta destroyed these droids and breached the door, however Sun Fac had already reached his Star Fighter and was heating up the engine, Boss quickly ordered Sev to take the fighter out from a sniping position, before Sev could do so, Sun Fac was in the air, however instead of running he stayed, obviously hoping to blow the squad apart with his laser cannons, but before he could do so, Sev downed his fighter. - Thats all one sentence, and reads very play by play-ish. Could you touch this up, and see if anywhere else in the article it needs it?
        • That should be done, but you'd best be the judge of that RC-1136 Copy 08:50, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
    • The article needs to be fully sourced, so that includes the infobox, and every paragraph.
      • However, the introduction does not need to be sourced. lol, So your reference there isn't necessary. :)
    • Some of the sections are pretty short and talk about the events of Delta Squad, and not Sev in particular. - examples: Meeting Omega and the Mid Clone Wars. Is it possible to maybe combine these with other sections, or say something like, Sev, along with the Delta Squad, to keep the article about Sev, not just the events of Delta Squad.
      • Have changed that, People are going to think the Squad is called "Sev and the rest of Delta" now, also I combined Meeting Omega with Mission to Coruscant,and the Mid Clone Wars was originally two sections, So I'm not sure it would be a good idea to combine it with Ko Sai, Or Mission with Omega, What do you reckon? RC-1136 Copy 09:11, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
        • That's much better :) Aqua Unasi 17:52, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
    • To someone not familiar with Delta Squad, some of these names are confusing. Fi, and Kal Skirata are introduced with no explanation, could you add context about them in the article?
      • Added an explanation for 'Kal, Fi, a small one for Atin and Sun Fac', if you spot any others please let me know RC-1136 Copy 08:50, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
        • Good! Now we know who everyone is - however, I can't find the explanation of Fi. Am I missing it? Aqua Unasi 17:52, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
          • Hmmm, how funny, I was sure I put that in, anyway its there now, well spoted RC-1136 Copy 18:30, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Finally, this paragraph: Regardless of how Sev developed his unique personality, it certainly aided the Deltas greatly when their covert operations turned into all-out warfare - reads very point of view-ish. I see you have it from a source, however it should still be presented in a NPOV way in the article.
      • Have touched up the Personality and traits section a bit, hope its ok now RC-1136 Copy 08:56, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
    • Also, I believe that you can't have quotes in the middle of sections - only at the beginning of sections. So your quote at the bottom of Kashyyk needs to either be made the section header or removed. Aqua Unasi 17:52, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
      • Done that, should be everything RC-1136 Copy 10:20, 12 June 2008 (UTC)
    • This may seem like a lot, but this will help to (hopefully) greatly improve your article. Good work :) Aqua Unasi 03:32, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
      • Ahh! overload :D. I'll do the best I can, and thanks for your help on the article, RC-1136 Copy 07:52, 11 June 2008 (UTC)
  3. Toprawa:
    • A few of your sentences are not sourced, and some of these don't even end in punctuation.
      • If you'd do the punctuation yourself that would be great, its more easy then pointing it all out to me,I can source any sourced stuff if you tell me were it is RC-1136 Copy 10:44, 28 July 2008 (UTC)
    • Additionally, there's no reason why your ref tags should be double spaced after punctuation. There should be no space.
      • I removed any spaces between the end of a paragraph and ref tags if thats what you mean RC-1136 Copy 12:40, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
    • There's no reason to make the section titles links. User the {{Main|...}} tag instead.
    • The images are painfully small
      • Incresed virtualy all pictures, except where it makes the page look ugly RC-1136 Copy 10:00, 27 July 2008 (UTC)
    • The article's sectioning could probably be revisited. Some of these one, two sentence sections should be combined.
      • some examples? I'm afraid I'm useless as spotting this sort of stuff, do you mean "Early life"? RC-1136 Copy 10:06, 27 July 2008 (UTC)
        • These sections that have one and two sentences just don't look good. They should be combined with other sections to create a more "meaty" appearance. 16:09, 17 August 2008 (UTC)
          • to my mind it dosn't relly matter, however I combined early life with Geonosis, — RC-1136 Hate Mail Here 10:09, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
    • Please punctuate your quote attribution lines correctly
      • that should be done RC-1136 Copy 12:40, 30 July 2008 (UTC)
        • Attribution lines should never end in full stops, and commas should follow the speaker when including a "...to Person B" Toprawa and Ralltiir 16:09, 17 August 2008 (UTC)
          • I dont really follow you, any way for things like puncation, if you could just do it yourself that would be fab, cheers — RC-1136 Hate Mail Here 10:06, 18 August 2008 (UTC)
    • The P/T quote should be in Quote format, not Dialogue. Toprawa and Ralltiir 19:15, 20 July 2008 (UTC)
      • Ahh... Yes about that, I think thats right now, If not it would be simpler if you do it, cheers RC-1136 Copy 18:01, 27 July 2008 (UTC)
    • You need to go through and do a better job of contextualizing, and to be frank, this article could be better written as a whole. I don't mean this to sound as harsh as it is, but I will not let this article pass in the state it's in. Toprawa and Ralltiir 14:39, 30 August 2008 (UTC)

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