Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Police droid (Coruscant Security Force)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Police droid (Coruscant Security Force)

  • Nominated by: Coruscantfan 02:57, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: You would think that police droids on the galactic capital would be programmed with a little more intelligence than these guys appear to posses. No wonder they phased them out by EPIII.

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. ACvoteGood job working through these obections. :) --Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 23:39, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
  2. Per Cal. Clone Commander Lee Talk 16:32, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
  3. Bad boy, bad boy, whatcha gonna do? ~SavageBOB sig 20:58, December 20, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote JangFett (Talk) 22:28, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
  5. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 15:34, January 8, 2012 (UTC)
  6. ACvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 01:41, February 29, 2012 (UTC)

Object

Cal Jedi
  • Infobox needs to be reloaded.
    • Done.
  • Context on N. Papanoida in the intro.
    • Done.
  • Context on Coruscant on its first mention in the Description section.
    • Done.
  • "After Amidala had been caught by the police droids and the situation was explained, she was released though the two thugs had escaped." Grammar problems here. There were multiple grammar problems in the article, some of which I corrected in my copyedit. It might be a good idea, however, to go through the article again and keep a sharp look out for grammar mistakes.
    • Done.
  • Linking problems throughout. I started to correct them, but there were multiple. So, I thought that you should go through the article again and look for linking problems.
    • Done.
  • The Appearances/Sources list needs appropriate tags.
    • Done.
  • The categories need to be alphabetized.
    • Done.
  • Take care of these, and I'll look through it one more time.--Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 04:17, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
    • I think I got most of the linkage and grammar problems. Coruscantfan 05:03, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
  • I fixed a couple more things, and I got one more sentence for you to fix: "Amidala was spotted by police droids who didn't see the thugs, but took up the chase since she was going too fast and they noticed that Amidala was in a stolen speeder." If you can clean this up a bit, that would be good.
    • I don't know why but that whole paragraph just gave me trouble from the beginning. I think I got it fixed now though. Coruscantfan 23:18, November 21, 2011 (UTC)
Lee's charge
  • Infobox: As the CSF is part of the Galactic Republic, it should be in the infobox.
    • Done.
  • Sure you checked all sources? I recommend that some kind of police droids appeared in Darth Maul: Shadow Hunter. Even if not, you can't say that they were active before the Clone Wars and source it to "Lightsaber Lost".
    • Done.
      • You still source the piece of text mentioned above to the TCW episode. Also, as police droids appear in the novel, you have to sum up their actions there as well. Clone Commander Lee Talk 16:03, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
  • A little bit more context on Dooku in the body please, e.g. Separatist leader.
    • Done.
  • Otherwise nice. Clone Commander Lee Talk 13:18, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
Jangeth
  • If you're going to expand the biography on the police droid for the Maul novel, I suggest you thoroughly take a look at it because IIRC the police droid was mentioned throughout the novel. Furthermore, please also check your behind the scenes. You currently not including any information about Shadow Hunter. Also, are you sure the droids haven't appeared elsewhere? For a while, and when the article was created, a few sources appear to be missing. Did you check those or were they removed before you began? If you're thinking that Filoni's comments are canon, please know that he is not an official source, so you cannot base anything off of him. You must include all information in the article regardless. You can have that bit about "they were phased out," but you need to include the rest of the information. This is guessing, and very much incorrect as it once stood. My edit was eliminated when I thought about why were those sources removed, and then I saw that Filoni comment. Unless someone who is officially affiliated with canon, like Chee, states something, all canonical information must be presented in the article. Was this your intention? JangFett (Talk) 17:11, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
    • I've updated the BTS to mention the Darth Maul novel. The police droid appears only in that one sequence in the Maul novel. Later, CSF detectives are mentioned investigating the scene but there is no mention of the police droid. On the appearances: Coruscant Nights III: Patterns of Force was listed incorrectly. They are actually the 501-Z police droid. Also, the Gambler's World appearance is actually about R-55 which is why at the top of the article it is clarified that this article is about the police droids used by the CSF, not an article in general about droids used by police. I've added a link for the 501-Z droids too. As to Filoni, I added that based on the canon policy as it is a source material on StarWars.com, Filoni is I believe a Lucas Arts VIP, there has been nothing to contradict him on this statement, and his statements are at worst in a gray area according to the policy: Comments by Lucasfilm VIPs other than those listed above. Statements of authorial-intent, information released by authors to clarify details of their works, may or may not be canon. Also when I sourced the exact same in-universe information from this commentary for the FA CSF article, it was accepted and no other objections were raised on it so there is precedence in this case for that statement. So that was my intention. Coruscantfan TanDivoInsignia-SenateMurders (Talk) 19:03, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
      • At this point then, we cannot assume the police droids listed in the Maul novel is this type of droid then. How do we know for sure they aren't 501-Z police droid or some variation? I would leave that information out until it's clarified. JangFett (Talk) 19:53, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
        • Well we know that its not the 501-Z since they didn't come on the scene till the Empire. But yes it could be some other model which we all know will never be clarified. :-) Removed never the less. Coruscantfan (Talk) 20:09, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
          • Sadly, with TCW still a threat, there could be a chance that these police droids will be merged, but nothing has been confirmed yet. I'll continue with my review later on. JangFett (Talk) 20:18, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
  • Update required from the new kiddy TCW UK comic 6.28. JangFett (Talk) 02:42, December 16, 2011 (UTC)
    • I don't have access to that but if you do and can send me the info that would be great. Coruscantfan (Talk) 03:02, December 16, 2011 (UTC)
      • If you have IRC access, we can talk there. JangFett (Talk) 03:04, December 16, 2011 (UTC)
        • Updated. :) Coruscantfan (Talk) 03:43, December 16, 2011 (UTC)
          • Good job. I'll take a look at the article after Bob. :) JangFett (Talk) 23:00, December 17, 2011 (UTC)
  • "The police droids were involved in several high-profile cases" Which source states that these cases were "high profile." If there isn't any, this has to be removed.
    • Done.
  • You need to state the name of the droid in the description section as "police droid". I'm not sure why you're pipe linking the police to a subject, and droid to another.
    • I did that because police is an article by itself and droid is an article by itself.
      • I realize that, but when you introduce the canonical name in the history, in this case the description, it's better to not link it. Droid could be linked, but I don't see why police needs too. JangFett (Talk)
        • OK, I moved the linking to a different sentence.
          • I believe it's fine with just droid linked. JangFett (Talk) 18:33, December 29, 2011 (UTC)

17:43, December 27, 2011 (UTC)

  • Is there a way you could state they were given masculine programing in the intro?
    • Yep. Done.
  • You need to establish the date in which these events occur. You can state "around 21 BBY" when you introduce the Lightsaber lost events and source it properly to the SW Annual 2011 magazine.
    • Done.
  • "Police droids in RapidResponse speeders also joined the chase after Kryze had ducked into an alley, just as a speeder, with a driver fitting her description, flew out of it" I'm not sure if I'm understanding this clearly. What exactly do you mean "just as a speeder, with a driver fitting her description, flew out of it."
    • Hopefully that clarifies it.
      • "Kryze managed to duck into an alley just as a speeder, with a driver fitting her description, flew out of the same alley." Better, but what is "fitting her description"? While some might understand what you mean, some might not. It's better to briefly describe what the driver was doing. JangFett (Talk) 17:43, December 27, 2011 (UTC)
        • Try now, its kind of an awkward sequence of events to embellish.
          • Take a look at my change and see if you agree. Also, could we get a link for this unidentified driver? JangFett (Talk) 18:33, December 29, 2011 (UTC)
            • Yep, looks good. Article link added.
  • "However, the droids and Divo did not know that the Icon of the Moon Goddess had been moved from its original location in Papanoida's Coruscant apartment and so seeing nothing amiss, they failed to notice the blood underneath the icon." Context on Icon of the Moon Goddness. Also, I can see a better transition than "however" in this sentence. If you state where they were at during that time, it would flow better.
    • Done.
      • Remember not to link directly to conjectural titled articles. Also, the context is somewhat sufficient; however, it's not enough to state what the thing is. JangFett (Talk) 17:43, December 27, 2011 (UTC)
        • Well, I'm not really sure what else to add. I would hope people reading this aren't complete idiots. :) Icon of the Moon Goddess seems self explanatory. Its an icon of a moon goddess and then link it to icon?
          • Well you can't assume that the readers know something. When in doubt, or better yet if something sounds odd, it's better to give context than to not. You could possibly check the old episode guide, the new episode guide, or elsewhere to see if this item is a "religious icon" as the article states. JangFett (Talk) 18:33, December 29, 2011 (UTC)
            • It calls it a statue as well so I added that.
  • "During a political fight over the Republic military enhancement bill" Where?
    • Done.
  • You mention "overwhelm" as a way to state someone destroyed/incapacitate police droids several times. I will go further into detail with this later, but please find a way to state what exactly happened to those Police droids.
    • "Two police droids interfered in the attack, although the thugs overwhelmed and destroyed them."
      • Done.
    • "When the droids opened the container, Sing overwhelmed them and escaped."
      • Done.
  • "but the two thugs had already escaped" Escaped where?
    • The episode doesn't show where they went immediately after that.
  • Please watch your linking. Whenever you pipelink a subject, be sure to capitalize the subject you are linking to. I.e, [[cloning|clones]] should be [[Cloning|clones]]. Keep this consistent, as I had to correct a number of these. Also, for pipelinking, be sure to put any remaining letter outside the double bracket within. So, [[Cloning/Legends|clone]]s should be [[Cloning/Legends|clones]]. I'll go through the article once more. JangFett (Talk) 23:15, December 20, 2011 (UTC)
  • "They were given masculine programing and were humanoid in shape with a head that formed into a cylindrical helmet. The droids were painted blue-gray and had the CSF symbol imprinted on their helmet and chest plate." You can condense these sentences into one. You don't need to go into a lot of detail in the intro, but pick what's most important. You can state "The blue-gray painted droids..." or something like that to shorten it.
    • Done.
  • "With attention on the speeder, the Duchess managed to escape" I'm not sure who you're mentioning/describing in the dependent clause in this sentence. As you don't mention who is paying attention to the speeder, it sounds like Satine has attention on the speeder. JangFett (Talk) 17:43, December 27, 2011 (UTC)
  • Using "managed" is acceptable, but I would avoid the term, unless the person you're describing is managing a store or something along that context. You mentioned "managed" twice as a way to describe Satine's actions during the chase paraphrase. See what you can do to change either both terms or one. JangFett (Talk) 18:33, December 29, 2011 (UTC)
    • Done.
  • Just to let you know, if you're pipelinking a link, it's proper to do [[43 ABY|In that year]] (as an example). Otherwise, doing [[Year|years]], which is what you did in the article, is not proper. Simply doing [[year]]s is how links should be formatted if they're not pipelinked. Hope that makes sense. :) JangFett (Talk) 18:33, December 29, 2011 (UTC)
Prepare to be savaged…
  • I'm pretty sure "police droid" is a pretty generic classification of a type of droid, not a specific model per se. See, for example, LE-VO law enforcement droid, 501-Z police droid, and HXZ-1 Immobilizer-series police droid. So, you need to either rewrite this article to be about the type (which would be like writing a generic protocol droid article), or rename this article something like "Police droid (Coruscant Security Force). The latter would probably be easier. :)
    • Ok, well, I moved the page, but I think I screwed up the nomination links. I'm not sure how to fix this, so help in this would be nice! :) Coruscantfan (Talk) 05:26, December 18, 2011 (UTC)
  • Please add a line or so about the droids' appearance to the intro.
    • Done.
  • I think a tad more detail on their appearance is warranted in the "Description" area. They have glowing,white photoreceptors, a tiny mouth, and five-fingered hands, for instance.
    • Done.
  • "Description" might also be a good place to include an image of the CSF symbol, since it's hard to make out in the full-body images of the droids.
    • Done.
  • You should mention the masculine programming (and voice) in the body somewhere. Also, they could speak Basic, yes? Worth noting somewhere.
    • Done.
  • "Marcy and Cryar were found a short time later at a train station" -- Can you reword this into the active voice to say who found them? It's unclear whether it was Sinube/Tano or the police droids.
    • Done.
  • Similarly, "Cryar was able to slash two police droids with Tano's lightsaber, but after a brief hostage standoff, she was also arrested by the police droids" -- Does this mean she escaped by slashing them? It's unclear. Similarly, who captured her back? The Jedi or the droids?
    • Done.
  • "a police probe reported that the Duchess had been the murderer since she was the only one near the body" -- reported to whom?
    • Done.
  • "However, Kryze had tricked them into thinking so and managed to escape" -- how did she trick them? I think there should be a "tricked them by x, y, and z" kind of statement in there somewhere.
    • Done.
  • "However, the droids did not know that a religious icon had been moved from its original location in Papanoida's Coruscant apartment, so during their search they missed the blood underneath the icon" -- this is confusing. What does this mean? Can you try to explain it a bit better? Also, the icon should have an article probably.
    • Clarified. I'll have to go back and look up the episode again but I can't remember the name of it.
    • Done. Coruscantfan (Talk) 19:18, December 20, 2011 (UTC)
  • "Amidala was released after the situation had been explained" -- can you make this active voice to say who explained the situation and who released her?
    • I can't because the episode doesn't show it. One moment she's under arrest and the next she is home safe. Obviously she was released from custody so the situation must have been explained otherwise she would have been in jail for theft. But we don't know how that went down.
  • "and Robonino was hit by one of the Coruscant police speeders" -- can you make this active to indicate that it was a droid piloting the speeder that hit him?
    • Done.
  • They could apparently drink fluid? Regardless of why he did this (as explained in BTS), this should be mentioned somewhere in the "description". ~SavageBOB sig 19:25, December 16, 2011 (UTC)
    • Done. Coruscantfan (Talk) 22:23, December 18, 2011 (UTC)
      • OK, just the religious icon bit needs to be cleared up, then we're all systems go. ~SavageBOB sig 15:58, December 20, 2011 (UTC)
        • I found it and added a page for it. Coruscantfan (Talk) 19:18, December 20, 2011 (UTC)
Exiled Jedi
  • "The CSF used police droids for some time by the Clone Wars." This sentence does not make sense to me. Could you reword it?
  • "During Lieutenant Divo's investigation of the murder of Rodia Senator Onaconda Farr..." Rodia Senator does not sound correct to me. Perhaps "Senator Onaconda Farr of the planet Rodia" or something along those lines.--Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 23:26, January 2, 2012 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Have you checked all supplementary material for mentions? That could extend as far as the young readers books, not all of which are even listed on the site. Please see what you can do.
    • I'm not able to get any of them without purchasing them but going from the story lines and the appearance sections it doesn't look like they appear in any of those books.
      • I think it would at least be worth asking around, then, because the article still needs to comply with GAN Rule 3 of having all appearances and sources listed. CC7567 (talk) 18:48, January 16, 2012 (UTC)
        • I checked around at book stores but they (the police droids) don't appear in any of them (the books) and the sources they appear in I already had listed. Coruscantfan (Talk) 04:17, January 25, 2012 (UTC)
  • Per GAN Rule 8, there can't be any redlinks in any templates, so please take care of the affected redlinks. Also, I'd recommend making sure that you're not over-italicizing any references; some of them currently are.
  • I'll begin reviewing once these are fixed. CC7567 (talk) 05:01, January 13, 2012 (UTC)
  • One more thing before I start reviewing: have you checked if they are referenced in any issues of the Star Wars: The Clone Wars UK Comic or Star Wars: The Clone Wars Magazine? Even if they're {{Po}}, they should be listed if applicable. CC7567 (talk) 04:37, January 27, 2012 (UTC)
    • As far as I am aware, no, there are no other mentions besides what I've already listed. Coruscantfan (Talk) 21:28, January 27, 2012 (UTC)
Floyd
  • Description section not fully sourced.
    • Done.
  • "Around 21 BBY, Jedi Master Tera Sinube and Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano discovered the lifeless body of the Trandoshan named Nack Movers, police droids were dispatched to assist the Jedi with the investigation." Word missing?
    • Done.
  • Quote attributions need to be correctly capitalized.
    • Thanks, I agree. If you look in the edit history you can see this has been changed before because previous reviewers wanted to "correct" it. So I'm going to change it again, but as a statement to future reviewers, this needs to be left alone.
  • A lot of the Description section is very choppy.
    • Done.
  • "After the two suspects, Ione Marcy and Cassie Cryar, fled the scene," What scene? Where was this? Context needed.
    • Done.
  • "Cryar was able to slash two police droids with Tano's lightsaber and escape their clutches." Did she destroy them? This just makes it sound like she cut them.
    • The episode shows them getting slashed and damaged. We don't know if they were permanently destroyed.
  • "Not noticing anything amiss, they failed to notice the blood underneath the icon." The use of "notice" is repetitive.
    • Done.
  • Is there an article for the attack on the Republic senators? If so link to it, if not create one.
    • It wasn't just one attack, there were several separate intimidation "attacks" but they seemed to be very minor, more like conversations. It would be like creating an article for a conversation between Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon. I would think they should be part of the Republic military enhancement bill article under either "History" or "Controversy"?
  • "Two other police droids noticed the speeding Amidala and also took after her, as they considered her speeder to be stolen." I don't think "considered" is correct here.
  • IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 03:07, February 28, 2012 (UTC)

Comments