Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Orbital Security Station Six

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Orbital Security Station Six

  • Nominated by: NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 02:46, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: The conclusive, third part of Project Femi; so old I'd completely forgotten about it.

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 08:30, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
  1. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 20:07, May 1, 2010 (UTC)
  2. ACvote You could play closer attention to double linking, especially in short articles like this. Toprawa and Ralltiir 20:26, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Jonjedigrandmaster Jedi symbol (We seed the stars) 21:42, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
  4. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 22:05, May 3, 2010 (UTC)
  5. JangFett (Talk) 23:08, May 3, 2010 (UTC)

Object

  1. Soresu
    • Make sure everything is past tense.
    • In reality, this was just a ruse to allow the Sith fleet to directly attack Coruscant, where, rather than transmit proper clearance codes to the satellite, Orbital Security Station Six was destroyed before the fleet continued assaulting the planet. Reword that last section. Also, the assault didn't "continue" because it has not yet begun. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 06:15, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
  2. Return of the Sith Empire
    • "Orbital Security Station Six was the first to encounter the mass of ships" - What do you mean by "mass of ships"? Please be more specific.
      • Fixed.
    • You need to be more explicit in the intro in regards to how the station was destroyed.
      • Done.
    • I would suggest creating and linking an Orbital Security Station article.
      • And include what? Just because its name has "six" in it doesn't mean its part of a series. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 18:10, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
        • Orbital Security Stations have been referenced in other sources, meaning that it is either a model of station or a specific role. Either option would require that it be mentioned and linked to in your infobox and/or intro.
          • I created it and did the latter, mentioning the existence of others in the description. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 00:23, April 6, 2010 (UTC)
    • I would remove the term "quite bulky" from the Description section. It's unencyclopedic and somewhat POV, given that there's no other ship close enough to it to give an accurate comparison of size and bulk.
      • Done.
    • "The dorsal side of the craft was adorned with two cylinders lined with blue and black viewports." - First, we don't know that that is the dorsal side, second, you shouldn't refer to the station as a "craft," and third, those are never confirmed to be viewports. Perhaps they are just lights, but regardless, we can't specify.
      • Changed to "surfaces" NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 18:10, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
      • Whoops. I fixed the "dorsal" part. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 00:21, April 8, 2010 (UTC)
    • "There was a way to easily transfer workers aboard the ship on and off-planet as their shifts changed." - pure speculation.
      • No. Femi says she was looking forward to going home after her shift, therefore there must be a way to get them back to Coruscant. I took out "easily."
    • In the history you say that Femi was nervous about seeing the Sith fleet and that their arrival was unexpected because they were supposed to be negotiating a peace on Alderaan. This is largely incorrect—Femi didn't know it was a Sith fleet, and we have no indication of her being nervous as a result of seeing it. She simply claims not to be expecting the vessel, whic could be for a variety of reasons.
      • Fixed.
    • The Great Galactic War had not been going on for a century.
      • Grr outdated information. Fixed.
    • Everything past the destruction of the station in the History section is fluff. You can give a brief summary (as in one sentence) of the result of the Sacking, but anything more is too much.
    • Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 19:09, April 3, 2010 (UTC)
      • You still have a few issues here and there, I'll give it another review soon. Darth Trayus(Trayus Academy) 19:25, April 4, 2010 (UTC)
  3. Please cut out the extraneous context in the History after the orbital station's destruction. It has absolutely no relevance to the station itself. I can accept that a mention of the Sacking of Coruscant is notable, but I just cannot see how the following events and the Cold War is relevant. CC7567 (talk) 21:33, April 30, 2010 (UTC)
    • Too each his own. Fixed. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 16:25, May 1, 2010 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 23:16, May 3, 2010 (UTC)