Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Operation supernova

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Operation supernova

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Novels FTW Supreme Emperor (talk) 04:24, May 30, 2013 (UTC)
  2. Exiled Jedi Oldrepublic crest (Greetings) 22:54, July 20, 2013 (UTC)
  3. 501st dogma(talk) 00:39, August 11, 2013 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 15:10, August 12, 2013 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Okay! Winterz (talk) 20:34, August 19, 2013 (UTC)
  6. ACvote I had to fix numerous grammar issues. Please look over my changes and make notes to yourself not to repeat those mistakes again. MasterFredCommerce Guild(Whatever) 00:25, August 30, 2013 (UTC)

Object

SE
  • Can you add the date to the intro?
    • Added.
      • Would you mind putting the date in the first sentence?
        • How's it look now.
  • In the intro, can you reword the sentence beginning with "After meeting with another Sith "? As it is, I find it a little confusing.
    • Re-worded.
      • Better, but can you change it a bit more? As it is, it sounds like she paid the Sith Lord.
        • Specified.
  • In the intro, you say Revan was captured by a Sith, which Sith?
  • Will continue tomorrow. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:30, May 15, 2013 (UTC)
  • In the prelude, can you give a bit of context regarding Revan's capture?
    • Added.
  • Can you reword the second sentence of the prelude a bit? The word some is used 3 times in one line.
    • Changed up.
  • In the aftermath, can we get some context regarding what the Emperor did and what he planned to do?
    • Added.
  • In the aftermath, 5 sentences all start with Scourge then. Can you switch them up a bit?Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:34, May 20, 2013 (UTC)
  • Will give it a quick once over tomorrow, nice work. Supreme Emperor (talk) 03:47, May 22, 2013 (UTC)
Cav
  • You have quotes for all the subsections, so how about one for the article lead?
    • Added.
  • Context on Surik for the intro
    • Added.
  • Context on Scourge, and a link to him is needed. You just kind of drop him in.
    • He was actually pipelinked, however changed.
  • After meeting with a Sith called Sechel, she learned the Sith she was looking for was a Sith Lord and paid Sechel four thousand credits to set up a meeting with the Sith. - four instances of "Sith" in one sentence. Please vary.
    • Changed.
  • In the intro, context for Murtog should be given upon his first mention.
    • Added.
  • Mention Scourge by name while explaining Revan's capture, and the fact that there was a holoimage of him (and how it was obtained)
    • Added.
  • Also, how was a meeting set up with Sechel through the merchant? - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:34, May 29, 2013 (UTC)
    • That's never explained in the novel the merchant just says he will set up a meeting with Sechel in two days then it skips straight to Surik walking to the Nexus Room to meet with Sechel. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 22:29, May 29, 2013 (UTC)
  • Round 2
  • After discovering that the Jedi Master Revan had been taken captive by the Sith Lord Scourge and was recorded in a holoimage by Revan's droid T3-M4. - the sentence here reads wrong. Please rewrite for clarity. Also, should the following sentence be attached to this one?
    • Changed and I don't think that the following sentence should be attached.
      • Its not changed. This is from the intro. You changed a similar sentence in the main section.
        • Attached the following sentence and changed it.
  • Two sentences in the intro begin "Sechel told" - please vary.
    • Changed.
      • I was thinking more of changing "told" completely to something akin to "informed" or "related"
        • Now changed.
  • Why did Scourge agree to help Surik?
    • Specified in the last paragraph of the aftermath, however may need re-wording.
      • I am refering to the intro here. This needs to be added.
        • Added now.
          • There is still no reasoning as to why Scourge agreed to help in the intro. Why is a Sith helping the Jedi? What is his motivation for doing so?
            • Should be clear now hopefully.
  • Who exactly is Sechel? What does he do?
    • Clarified.
  • Context for Nexus Room
    • Added.
  • Establish that T3 was on Nathema with Revan prior to his association with the Exile so that he could record the holoimage.
    • Added.
  • to have Murtog, Dark Councilor Darth Nyriss' security chief, and his crew meet him there - word for word from the intro. Please vary.
    • Changed
      • Still unchanged.
        • Now it should be changed.
  • After arriving she entered the cave and was ordered to lie down and surrender. - who is "she"? I assume you mean Surik. Also, who ordered her to lie down?
    • Clarified that it was Surik and the novel doesn't identify the speaker.
  • First paragraph of the aftermath is too much "he-said, she said". Try rewriting without the play by play.
    • Changed.
      • Still heavy. Try condensing a few down and varying the sentence lead in.
        • Should be fixed now.
  • The Sith then ambushed Sechel in his secret apartment - by "the Sith" I guess you mean Scourge?
  • Is there no mention of this in The Essential Reader's Companion? - Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 21:21, June 17, 2013 (UTC)
    • Indirect mention at best, it says after learning the location of Dromund Kaas on Nathema, Surik met with Scourge on Kaas. I'm leaning toward it not being indirectly mentioned during that sentence, however it may depend on the reader's view of it. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 08:47, June 18, 2013 (UTC)
  • Final word: I've been through and given it another copy edit, changing a few sentences here and there. Please check for clarity and that the original intention of the sentences has not been lost.- Sir Cavalier of OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 12:53, July 16, 2013 (UTC)
501st
  • " After discovering that the Jedi Master, Revan, had been taken captive by the Sith Lord, Scourge—which had been recorded in a holoimage by Revan's companion T3-M4..." I assume the capture is the thing being recorded here? Could you maybe reword a tad to clarify?
    • Changed however may need rewording if it isn't clear enough. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 18:42, July 30, 2013 (UTC)
      • It reads better know, but on second thought, the part about the droid in between the dashs could be removed to shrink the intro, as how Surik knew about the capture is not really needed there.
        • Removed.
  • I'll be back with more. 501st dogma(talk) 00:34, July 30, 2013 (UTC)
  • Prelude: Context on Dromund Kaas?
    • Added.
  • Prelude: You say that she discovered that Revan had been captured by Scourge, who was a Sith, then you have her learn later that he was a Sith. This happens in the intro to. Please remedy.
    • Re-worded hows it look.
      • Prelude looks good, but intro has that problem still.
        • To me it looks like the intro doesn't have that problem. Do you have a suggestion to fix it?
          • Intro says that she knows that the Sith Scourge took Revan, but she later learned of Scourge's Sith identity.
            • I meant that Surik knew Scourge was a member of the Sith species and later learned he was a Sith Lord. I've re-worded it I hope that clears it up.
  • Prelude: You use a lot of "after"s in the first couple sentences. Try using "following", or some other synonyms.
    • Changed up.
      • Intro has 3 sentences that start with "after," so fix that there too.
        • Should also be fixed now.
  • Prelude: Last couple sentences have a lot of "told"s - please synonymify. 501st dogma(talk) 12:15, August 1, 2013 (UTC)
    • Also changed up..
  • Battle: Since you have articles for the other three soldiers, you might as well have one for the last male.
    • The article is already created and linked to in the infobox and the bts. I see no need to link to him in the battle section since the novel doesn't specify how he dies.
      • One, you need to link to him in the bio. Two, there is a 2nd male soldier that needs an article. 501st dogma(talk) 23:16, August 1, 2013 (UTC)
        • The only male soldiers are the unidentified one and Murtog. I linked to them earlier hope this clears it up. DarthRevan1173 Revan Headshot (Long live Lord Revan) 00:10, August 2, 2013 (UTC)
          • Okay, for somereason I thought Murtog was the Sith Lord you have in the strength section of the infobox. I would remove that, as Scourge didn't take part in the battle. 501st dogma(talk) 00:12, August 3, 2013 (UTC)
  • Aftermath: You have Scourge suddenly there... was he there during the whole time?
  • That's all for now. 501st dogma(talk) 12:58, August 1, 2013 (UTC)
  • In both the intro and the prelude you have Surik discovering that Revan was kidnapped by Scourge, but later you have her finding out his identity from Sechel. I would suggest pipelinking Scourge the first time you mention him to just a Sith, then have Sechel tell Surik that the Sith was Scourge.
    • Pipelinked.
      • Hmmmm, it's not quite working. You mention Scourge talking to Sechel though you haven't introduced him as the Sith that kidnapped Revan, try to remedy this. 501st dogma(talk) 00:14, August 5, 2013 (UTC)
  • I would say that T3 recorded the capture in the prelude, if that is in the case. 501st dogma(talk) 13:19, August 4, 2013 (UTC)
  • I'll take another quick look at it before supporting. 501st dogma(talk) 13:57, August 7, 2013 (UTC)
Lets get serious, lets get happy
  • So the use of such title has been intriguing me. Not because I think it's incorrect but because I don't think it is any official and hence a {{Nickname}} markation may be needed. I've discussed this with another AC and he told me that I should get in synthony with you about it. This was something off-the books, Meetra went on her own quest by herself hence why I strongly believe the whole "Operation" was sarcastically named. Let me know what you think, revan.
    • That can depend on a reader's interpretation I believe. I originally had the article named as Skirmish outside of Kaas City but it was moved by another user. From what I interpret from the novel Operation Supernova is a name of one of Surik's contingency plans that she and T3 planned out incase something went wrong.
  • On a separate matter, I'm wondering if the relevance of those soldiers are enough to acquire individual articles, what do you think? (If you agree, don't change anything just yet, we should probably take it to TC thereafter) Winterz (talk) 01:03, August 14, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 00:25, August 30, 2013 (UTC)