Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Operation: Knightfall/Legends (second nomination)

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Operation: Knightfall

  • Nominated by: NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 04:29, 28 January 2009 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: I shall say once again and for the final time, let no man, woman, or child ever be subjected to this article again.

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:20, 29 January 2009 (UTC)
  2. Looks good. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 12:54, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
  3. It was fun to play it in the games, and now it's fun to read it. Kilson 6:04, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
  4. ACvote I know, I put you through a lot here. ;-) Cylka-talk- 03:37, 19 February 2009 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:44, 3 March 2009 (UTC)
  6. --Darth tom Imperial Emblem (Imperial Intelligence) 22:14, 6 March 2009 (UTC)
  7. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 09:50, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. I'm a bit worried about the sourcing in this article. For example the last paragraph in the "Operation: Nightfall" section is almost all sourced to the Courtship of Princess Leia, which is obviously not right. Everything needs to be sourced to the source it came from. The Jerec stuff has nothing to do with Operation: Nightfall, that didn't happen until he returned from the Unknown Regions some time later. Bene and Whie are mentioned in the penultimate paragraph in the said section and it's all sourced to the RotS game, but according to their articles neither of them appear in the game, so that needs to be checked out. "grandfather's (Anakin Skywalker)" reads awkwardly. I'd try "the actions of Anakin Skywalker, his grandfather" or somesuch. In the "Jedi Casualties," why are the Jedi listed by their rank in the GAR and not their Jedi rank? They didn't die in their capacity as commanders so it's not relevant, and the legitimacy of those ranks at that time has certainly to be in question. Nothing from Ahakista Gambit? Source list needs to be ordered by release date. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 17:35, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
    • I've fixed Bene and Whie, (Anakin Skywalker), and Jerec. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 21:32, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
    • I've also fixed the source list and the rank issues. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 08:02, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
    • Fixed the sourcing. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 09:22, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
    • I'm not sure the sentence about "some Jedi turning to the dark side" should stay, unless it definitely refers to during O:N and not just during the purge in general. -- AdmirableAckbar (Talk) 10:56, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
      • Gah, this thing keeps changing... Removed. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 19:56, 31 January 2009 (UTC)
  2. According to Jedi Twilight, Jax Pavan and Even Piell were present during the attack, but survived by fleeing the temple. You should mention this --Jinzler 21:16, 30 January 2009 (UTC)
  3. Cylka:
    • [...] the newly anointed Darth Vader and the clone troopers of the 501st Legion stormed the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, initiating a massacre under the authority of Order 66. and The men of the 501st protected the Jedi library while the Jedi tried to destroy the knowledge contained there to keep it out of the hands of the Sith. - These two sentences appear to contridict each other. Were the 501st helping Vader or the Jedi?
    • After the fighting, Vader set up a beacon that alerted Jedi all over the galaxy, the ones that had not already fallen to the clones in their ranks, that the Clone Wars were over and ordered them back to the temple, not knowing that it was a trap. - The not knowing that it was a trap part is a bit awkward. Please rewrite in such a way as to clearly show that it was a trap for the Jedi and not Vader.
    • Rewritten NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 14:53, 5 February 2009 (UTC)
    • As the Legion landed at the Temple, and as they marched, they were completely silent. - A little more context is needed here. Why was it relevant that the Legion was silent?
    • There seem to be some linking issues. I've found that many links are missing. I've gone through and linked as much as I could, but I may have missed some, so please double check them.
    • Vader disabled the shield system and killed the Jedi; proceeding into one of the surrounding halls. - This is a bit confusing. What or who was proceeding into one of the surrounding halls?
    • Though Shaak Ti managed to secure a small number of her charges passage through the Undercity. - Is there something more that you wanted to add to this statement? If not, then it needs to be reworded.
    • Cleaning up most of the remaining Temple Security guards and Jedi Knights. - This sentence is somewhat arbitrary in relation to the previous statements. It needs to be connected to them in some way.
    • As the Temple burned, Bail Organa landed on the landing platform of one of the Council Tower hangars to investigate the fire. - Some context is needed when Organa is first introduced. Specifically who he was and why he would be landing at the Temple.
    • A bit of context is needed for Order 66 when it is first introduced.
    • Context is needed in regards to Padmé Amidala and why she would be traveling to Mustafar to confront Anakin.
    • It is possible he was seen by a clone trooper. - What evidence/reasons are given for the possibility of Jacen being seen by a clone when he flow-walked?
    • Please take care of these objections and I'll look over the article once more. Cylka-talk- 06:35, 3 February 2009 (UTC)
  4. I don't think Fox can be counted as a commander of the battle. He is only a sergeant. He did order his men to stop firing on Bail, but it's not like he was in command of the entire battle. Kilson 11:40, 07 February 09 (UTC)
  5. You should add info from Dark Nest II: The Unseen Queen, which reveals that R2-D2 downloaded a recording of the battle, which was later watched by Luke Skywalker --Jinzler 21:18, 8 February 2009 (UTC)
  6. Cylka's second look:
    • The introduction states that the 501st legion defended the Jedi Library.
      • Which they did. It also says they were defending it from Jedi. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 23:37, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
        • The men of the 501st protected the Jedi library while the Jedi tried to destroy the knowledge contained there to keep it out of the hands of the Sith. - This sentence is what I was referring to. It is a bit unclear as to who or what the 501 were defending the Library from.
    • As the troopers dispersed throughout the Temple's vaulted halls, Vader began to eliminate the most powerful Jedi within. - Did Vader consciously target the most powerful Jedi first? Or was it random?
    • Nu had already sensed something suspicious - Is it specified what caused her to sense something suspicious?
    • The last paragraph of the Operation: Knightfall section uses the word managed too often. Please reword this a bit.
    • Fortunately an emergency session of congress was being held, reducing security at the Temple. - This sentence sounds a bit POVish. I believe it should be reworded a little.
    • A bit more context is still needed for Amidala. Why would Kenobi decide to go to her specifically to ask about Skywalker's whereabouts? I know you mention later that Kenobi figured out Skywalker was the father of her baby, but more is needed here.
    • Amidala got into her J-type star skiff and flew to Mustafar confront her husband, unaware that Kenobi had stowed away. Though Kenobi did not want to, he knew he had to face Darth Vader in order to bring the Sith threat to an end. - This sentence should be integrated into the previous paragraph. This fits in with what I was saying in my previous objection.
    • As the order circulated to non-clone military forces - What order was this? Is it the order you describe a few sentences later, or a different order? Please clarify.
    • The last paragraph of the Public and non-clone military response section use the words flee and/or fleeing too many times. Please change this.
    • had stolen and downloaded a recording of this event at some point. - What is the event mentioned here? The one mentioned later in the paragraph? This needs to be clarified.
    • These clones were included in LEGO Star Wars: The Video Game and in the compiliation game LEGO Star Wars: The Complete Saga as well as in the Episode III novel where they were aproached by Obi-Wan who was disguised as a hunchbacked old man and tried to pass off Yoda as a Jedi baby to get close enough to attack and all of the squad was dead within six seconds. - this sentence needs to be broken up a bit.
    • It's almost ready. :-) Cylka-talk- 21:20, 13 February 2009 (UTC)
  7. Third time's the charm:
    • Many Jedi were killed within minutes by their formerly loyal subordinates,[1] though some, like A'Sharad Hett,[7] Rahm Kota,[8] and T'ra Saa,[9] survived by rebuffing the clones, not being around them at the time, or a variety of other reasons. - This sentence reads a bit off. Maybe you could reword it in such a way as to indicate the specific reason each of these Jedi survived.
    • ...dispatched her padawan to the lower levels of Coruscant with detailed maps.' - What is the significance of these maps?
    • Upon arrival, the two Jedi ambushed a squad of clone troopers of the 501st Legion on sentry duty. An emergency session of congress was being held, reducing security personnel numbers at the Temple, however. More clones ambushed Kenobi... - These first few sentences need to be integrated with each other a bit more. As it stands, the beginning of this paragraph is somewhat fragmented.
  8. *Despite what he said about him, Amidala refused to tell him where Skywalker went and left, figuring out that the father of her unborn child was Skywalker - this sentence is a bit confusing. You need to specify a bit more who was who.
    • Please check the linking again, as I found some issues. I tried to correct them where I could, but I'm not sure I found them all. Also, please check your use of commas. I found that they were being used too often.
      • Fixed what I've seen NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 23:08, 18 February 2009 (UTC)
    • This isn't as much an objection, as it is a suggestion. I believe that one last image, if available, could be placed in the Bts.
    • You really are almost done! Cylka-talk- 18:33, 15 February 2009 (UTC)
  9. From some guy who's not even on the AC, but is curious nonetheless
    • It's got several alternate titles: I know that we tend to invent titles for events (usually "Battle of X" or "Duel on Y"), and we don't usually put footnotes in the introduction, but the use of several bolded titles without a {{Conjecture}} tag implies that all of these names appear in some source or other. Is it possible or desirable to source those names? —Silly Dan (talk) 23:40, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
      • Or, you could remove all but one canonical title. That works too. —Silly Dan (talk) 12:27, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
        • Well, I tried to find sources for all those names but after looking through all those books, I found that the event is not actually named in most of them as any of those.; It is merely refered to as "when the Temple fell" or some sort. Not an actuall designation of the event. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 18:45, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
    • I'd suggest this for the FAN page, based simply on its length and scope. (That's a comment, not an objection.) —Silly Dan (talk) 23:40, 20 February 2009 (UTC)
  10. Chack Attack:
    • "After assisting in the death of Mace Windu and submitting to Palpatine's teachings..." This starts off way too suddenly.
    • Same with Prelude.
      • That is the start of the Prelude. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 04:38, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
    • Try to mention the date in the intro and beginning of the body.
    • I thought Jax was a Knight, not a Padawan.
      • Well, Jax Pavan Prime was a Knight, yes. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 03:53, 2 March 2009 (UTC)
    • A bunch of your refs are not italicized. Go through and fix that.
    • That's all I got. It's just about ready to pass GAN. Chack Jadson (Talk) 12:20, 1 March 2009 (UTC)
  11. Cav:
    • whose real name was Darth Sidious - real name implies that he was born under this name, rather than a name he took/was given. Please reword appropriately.
    • assigned the task of rampaging through the halls - "rampaging" sounds a little off here. Consider rewording.
    • The first paragraph of the Prelude section is sourced directly to Battlefront II - I'm sure the opening line about the duel and the turning of Vader should be sourced directly to RotS.
    • The Operation: Knightfall section starts too abruptly. Remember, this is the opening of an entirely new section. Also, "gunfire" seems a little out of place in a universe filed with blaster weapons. Try rewording with something a little more in-universe.
    • No mention is made of Decoy Squad Five and their actions disguised as Jedi in the main article - you GAed the previous article with all evidence pointing towards the fact that it is canonical, although missing from the final cut of the movie. You mention in the BTS that it is canon, and therefore should be in the main article.
    • Some resolution to Kenobi going after Vader is needed.
    • Mentioning the LEGO video game - especially first - in the BTS as one of the first depictions of the massacre seems a little off since it is a non-canon depiction. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 13:07, 24 April 2009 (UTC)
      • Well, it is the official first appearance of the event. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 02:59, 25 April 2009 (UTC)
        • Accepted, and you have stated its non-canon nature so I'm happy with its inclusion. - Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 09:50, 27 April 2009 (UTC)

Comments Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 09:50, 27 April 2009 (UTC)