Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Nil Spaar

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Nil Spaar

(+5)

Support

  1. As nominator. Chack Jadson (Talk) 21:30, 30 November 2007 (UTC)
  2. Goodwood Redstarbird (For the Rebellion!) 23:31, 12 December 2007 (UTC)
  3. Greyman(Paratus) 05:26, 19 December 2007 (UTC)
  4. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:03, 11 January 2008 (UTC)
  5. GA material, this is. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 04:03, 15 January 2008 (UTC)

Oppose

  1. From the Forest of Goodwood:
    • Introduction needs to be fleshed out a bit; add male Yevetha as well.
    • Biography section needs to be broken up into subsections.
    • There is an image of Nil Spaar from the NEC on the wiki; this should be added in.
    • Lots of little paragraphs in the Biography section, some of which transition awkwardly and others which consist of only one sentence. Please fix/merge as necessary.
    • The sentence "The Yevetha, talented shipbuilders, were used as slaves" is inaccurate, as the Yevetha had little in the way of spacefaring technology before their subjugation and enslavement. That paragraph is still a bit awkward.
    • P&T section needs cleanup; "choke" in last sentence does not need quote marks.
    • Tense issues: "Since vessels not capable of entering hyperspace cannot leave it, Nil Spaar was never seen again" needs fixing.
    • TIMMMMMBERRRRRRRR!--Goodwood Redstarbird (For the Rebellion!) 17:36, 3 December 2007 (UTC)
  2. A little help from T&R
    • Having never read BTS, the article is a bit confusing. It seems to be written in a manner assuming the reader knows what is going on. I would recommend trying to add more preliminary details, particularly at the beginning - i.e. I can assume that N'zoth is a planet, but you should say so; "As the Black Fleet prepared to leave the system," what system? Ysanne Isard is defending Coruscant? Why? From whom? What ship class is the Intimidator? Toprawa and Ralltiir 23:04, 10 January 2008 (UTC)
      • I made some modifications- tell me what you think. Atarumaster88 Jedi Order (Talk page) 15:56, 11 January 2008 (UTC)
        • Better. I went in and made a few changes, too. Specified that the star system was the N'zoth system, so please check if all that is accurate.
    • Inlude a brief explanation of how the Pride of the Yevetha is actually the same Intimidator mentioned earlier, and how it came to be in Yevetha hands, etc.
    • Also, a little HTML clean-up of the Aramadia-class thrustship linking, including removing linking it twice, would be good. Toprawa and Ralltiir 17:52, 11 January 2008 (UTC)
      • Fixed. And thanks for the help Ataru. I appreciate it. Chack Jadson (Talk) 20:30, 11 January 2008 (UTC)

Comments

  • The article really needs to be rewritten; by and large, the prose is stilted and reads awkwardly.--Goodwood Redstarbird (For the Rebellion!) 17:36, 3 December 2007 (UTC)