Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Mordageen

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Mordageen

  • Nominated by: --Eyrezer 06:52, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: Alas, there is only one of them, but I'm impressed they were named in a Prima Games guidebook.

(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)

Support

  1. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 06:56, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
  2. CC7567 (talk) 15:52, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
  3. —Lucius malfoy7 Talk • Reference 21:26, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
  4. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 06:17, 7 May 2009 (UTC)
  5. ~ SavageBob 04:33, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
  6. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 10:54, 14 May 2009 (UTC)
  7. ACvote Graestan(Talk) 02:54, 15 May 2009 (UTC)
  8. ACvote Grunny (Talk) 10:33, 15 May 2009 (UTC)

Object

  1. Attack of the Clone
    • First few sentences: think I said the same thing for your Skine sector nom. Starting the second sentence off with "The bipedal humanoids had pink skin" is a bit choppy, and it almost sounds like you're talking about something else entirely.
    • "the Mordageen was captured by force of the Galactic Republic": sounds strange, please check.
    • The reduced prison sentence is a bit confusing, because it doesn't state that Fust was going to serve a sentence in the first place.
    • "Sebolto placed a bounty on the head": bit unclear about who Sebolto wanted revenge on, and whose head he placed the bounty on.
    • Last two sentences of the "History" both include "each other"; please reword one for variety.
    • CC7567 (talk) 17:44, 5 May 2009 (UTC)
      • Thanks for the review. There was some sloppy stuff in their by me. I think your objections are all addressed now. --Eyrezer 08:27, 6 May 2009 (UTC)
  2. Soresu
  3. Prepare to be Savaged...
    • "One notorious Mordageen was the smuggler Bendix Fust, who worked for the Dug crimelord Sebolto until he was captured by Republic Security Forces." Who was captured? The antecedent could be either Bendix Fust or Sebolto.
      • Reworded.
    • I'm a little unsure about how to handle writing a species description from just one member of that species. Certainly, things like bipedalism and number of fingers probably carry from one member of the species to the next, but what about skin color and hair color? Even facial features are a bit of a gray area, since you couldn't describe Humans based on the facial features of, say, the fat guy who played Jabba in the early takes of ANH. I'd be more comfortable if we said right in the body of the article that "The Mordageen Bendix Fust had [physical features]" as this wouldn't be assuming too much about other members of the species. That is, of course, unless the sources cited (the Gamer article in particular) don't already make these generalizations. It's a tough decision to make, since Star Wars seems to do a lot of generalizing (the cantina aliens served as archetypes for Galaxy Guide 4, for example) but also to introduce random and unexplained differentiations (like comic book artists ignoring precedent and showing a Lutrillian with four fingers instead of five or what have you).
      • It is a tricky one. Afterall, you could raise the same objection if there was only known members of the species, or only three. It would be especially liable to this claim if they were all from the same family, etc. It seems to me that there should be a presumption in favour of an individual being representative, rather than the other way around. To clarify, I would not make this presumption towards behavioural characteristics. For instance, saying that all Mordageen are smugglers, which unfortunately many of the WEG sources did. But with biology, I feel much more comfortable doing so until shown otherwise. All that said, I've made some changes to the article that I hope will satisfy you! --Eyrezer 03:56, 13 May 2009 (UTC)
    • Over all, an interesting choice for a species article. Everything else checks out! ~ SavageBob 01:21, 9 May 2009 (UTC)
    • Yup, I'm satisfied now, and I've struck out my objections. Thanks! ~ SavageBob 04:33, 13 May 2009 (UTC)

Comments