Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Mondo-Mod

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Mondo-Mod

(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)

Support

  1. Very interesting read. Thanks a lot for that nom. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:44, June 16, 2011 (UTC)
  2. Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 01:49, June 26, 2011 (UTC)
  3. I love the organizing --AnyGuy 21:45, June 27, 2011 (UTC)
  4. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 20:22, June 30, 2011 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir 00:28, July 1, 2011 (UTC)
  6. ACvote This was great.—Tommy 9281 Friday, July 1, 2011, 03:28 UTC

Object

Cal Jedi
  • Very nice article, but there were a few things I'm wondering about.
    • "During the Clone Wars against the Republic and the Confederacy of Independent Systems," is there a better way to state this so that it doesn't sound like the Clone Wars were waged against the Republic? Making it easier to understand that the CIS and Republic were the factions.
      • That was a typo, change to "between".
    • Also in the personality and traits section you say the hutt spoke a language other than basic. Was it Huttese or is there no canon source that says? Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 22:07, June 25, 2011 (UTC)
      • The comic shows Mondo-Mod speaking a language other than Basic, but it doesn't specify what exact language he is speaking. Thanks for the review. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 00:27, June 26, 2011 (UTC)
Attack of the Clone
  • Check WP:DASH please. While I understand that you're still learning this, it should be corrected in all of your articles soon after you're made aware of it. The only way to become more familiar with it is to adhere to it.
    • Understood. How is it now?
  • Is there anything you can do to cut down the detail of the three matches in the Bio? They're relevant to Mondo-Mod, but they're a bit too play-by-play, and the dialogue is also rather heavy. Please see what you can do.
    • Took out a few sentences.
      • I'm looking for something a little more; take a look at what I did with the first match's paragraph for an example. In certain places, I still think that you can be a little more concise with your wording; too often there are too many sentences when fewer ones can be used, and that makes it rather play-by-play. Oftentimes, we don't need to repeat everything that's said in a comic, book, or source when writing articles—especially if it's dialogue, which tends to take up unnecessary space. Please therefore see what you can do. Let me know if you'd like some help. CC7567 (talk) 00:42, June 30, 2011 (UTC)
        • I removed another few sentences, but I welcome your help if I need to remove more. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 01:51, June 30, 2011 (UTC)
  • There were several minor but noticeable errors in the article, including a missing ref tag, which I suspect came from rushed writing. Please simply take your time to be more careful in the future. CC7567 (talk) 21:43, June 27, 2011 (UTC)
    • Yeah, as I told Tranner, I'm going to slow down my writing for the time being. Thanks for the review CC. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 22:13, June 28, 2011 (UTC)
  • "and was sure prior to Unduli's victory that the Jedi Master would die": specifically, which victory, since there were three of them? Or was he referring to the competition in general? Please clarify.
  • There were still a few minor but again noticeable errors remaining from when the objections were corrected. Please look over the changes I made and take note of them. CC7567 (talk) 19:45, June 30, 2011 (UTC)

Comments


Many thanks to Culator who helped me format the main quote. Kilson(Let's have a chat) 06:25, June 16, 2011 (UTC) </div