Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Mission to Bardram Scoft

The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a Good article nomination that was withdrawn. Please do not modify it.

Mission to Bardram Scoft

• Nominated by: YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:27, 10 January 2022 (UTC)
• Nomination comments:
• WookieeProject (optional): WP:Novels and WP:Chiss

(0 ACs/2 Users/2 Total)

(Votes required: 3 AC vote(s) required to reach minimum. No additional votes required to pass, please consider reviewing another article.)

Support

1. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 02:00, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
2. AmazinglyCool (talk) 01:50, 17 March 2022 (UTC)

Object

Dionne

• "…Qilori of Uandualon, whose talents with Third Sight…" Doesn't Qilori call his ability "Great Presence" instead of "Third Sight"? The source is of course the same, the Force, just the differences of terminology.--Dionne Jinn (talk) 16:18, 24 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Good catch! Fixed -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 17:30, 25 January 2022 (UTC)
• I've been thinking about that last paragraph of the intro. Would it flow better if you started with something like "During the mission J C Thrawn noticed that Lioaoi ships present bore a resemblance to pirates, who had recently been attacking…"?--Dionne Jinn (talk) 18:12, 26 January 2022 (UTC)
  • Better now? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 19:45, 26 January 2022 (UTC)
    • Yep.--Dionne Jinn (talk) 19:52, 26 January 2022 (UTC)

"This is a counselor ship. We're on a—"

• The bold says it's a "diplomatic mission" but the title just says calls it by "mission." I'm pretty sure the entirety of the bold is meant to represent part of a conjectural title, so either the name of the article should have diplomatic there to reflect the bold, or vice versa.
  • Addressed this. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:34, 21 February 2022 (UTC)
• Context for Lioaoin Regime, Guild Concourse 447, Navigators' Guild, Pesfavri, Schesa, and Lioaoin heartworld.
  • I got the first three, but have to do Pesfavri, Schesa, and Lioaoin heartworld later. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:50, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
    • The regime still has no context in the Mission section. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 13:10, 26 February 2022 (UTC)
      • Better? -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 01:02, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
        • Check my copy-edit is all good. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 02:00, 27 February 2022 (UTC)
• In the intro and body, you introduce the Lioaoin cruiser before introducing the Lioaoin Regime, which bears enough significance to be introduced simultaneously. I think you should introduce them as "cruisers of the Lioaoin Regime" to convey that better.
  • I rechecked the chapter. I didn't actually see confirmation that the Lioaoi ships were Lioaoin cruisers, so I removed it. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:50, 25 February 2022 (UTC)
• Aftermath section is a bit large to just be one paragraph. Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 20:47, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
  • Addressed this. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:03, 21 February 2022 (UTC)

CC-8

• I'm counting 1079 words Commander Code-8 ^{Hello There!} 05:27, 29 March 2022 (UTC)

Comments

• For the quotetrans speak things (I don't know what you call them), there's specific code for them like with the ellipses and dashes (pretend there's a ; at the end of each because nowiki doesn't work) &raquo (») and &laquo («). Braha'tok enthusiast ^{Hello there} 20:47, 15 February 2022 (UTC)
  • Ah cool, thanks. I've got quite a few articles I can update with these codes. -- YakovChaimTzvi (he/him/his) (talk) 00:03, 21 February 2022 (UTC)