- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Mikka Reekeene
- Nominated by: Skippy Farlstendoiro 14:31, November 26, 2009 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: Bearded guy in background of obscure webcomic. Like everyone else in Star Wars, he has a detailed history.
(3 ACs/4 Users/7 Total)
Support
- SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 10:08, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
- LtNOWIS 17:02, December 20, 2009 (UTC)
- Roughnecks for president. ~ SavageBob 22:58, December 28, 2009 (UTC)
Chack Jadson (Talk) 01:45, January 1, 2010 (UTC)- Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 16:28, January 1, 2010 (UTC)
- —Jawaman No, I did NOT steal your droid! 16:44, January 7, 2010
- Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:16, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
Object
Before I take a detailed look, you need to make your paragraphs larger in size. ATM, your average para length is 2 sentences, making the article seem like a list of trivia items or something.SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 07:56, November 30, 2009 (UTC)- Done for Mikka; tried for the others but it's not easy to increase the avg over 2.3 sentences/paragraph with the existing information. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 09:17, November 30, 2009 (UTC)
- Soresu's full review
Mikka Reekeene had been arrested by the Galactic Empire. This seems awkwardly thrown in. Could you provide some timeframe for this?- Not done bc: OS does not give that information; you know as much as I do.
- Then give some sort of reason why he goes to jail. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 22:25, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
- Done.
- Then give some sort of reason why he goes to jail. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 22:25, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
- Not done bc: OS does not give that information; you know as much as I do.
There is no mention of his birthdate anywhere but in the infobox.- Added.
You switch between lens' and lens's- Good one. Catched.
Keep the intro in chronology. In the first sentence, you basically summarise everything he was during his lifetime. You should only state what he was before what happens in the next sentence (before he goes to jail).- Have a look.
the maximum leader of the Rougnecks Redundant. You've already said Lens was first in command of the Roughnecks.- Ok, but I specify that as a General she's still in charge.
she discovered that most of her previous men What previous men? From where?I thought "mercenary leader" gave that info, but: modified.
Check for underlinking.- Have a look.
Context on the Satran Corporation- Not done bc: Again, this is all we know about Sartran.
- Oops sorry. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 22:25, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
- Not done bc: Again, this is all we know about Sartran.
In the bio you say he uses his empathy and caution. There should be ention of this in the P&T.SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 00:22, December 2, 2009 (UTC)- Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:30, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
- Merge some of the paragraphs. They're becoming too small again. I understand that they may not be completely related to each other, but it keeps it organized and uniform. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 22:25, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
- Done.
- Merge some of the paragraphs. They're becoming too small again. I understand that they may not be completely related to each other, but it keeps it organized and uniform. SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is the truth) 22:25, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
- Added. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:30, December 3, 2009 (UTC)
As the co-leader of the Roughnecks, As the chief engineer of the Roughnecks a bit repititice.SoresuMakashi(Everything I tell you is a lie) 22:44, December 3, 2009 (UTC)- Done. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 07:33, December 4, 2009 (UTC)
- Prepare to be savaged...
Can you delink the names of folks in quotes who already appear linked in the main article?- Done.
The first sentence is confusing, as it makes it sound like he stopped being a male, Human, and/or mechanic when the Empire caught him. Otherwise, this is quite good. ~ SavageBob 16:15, December 23, 2009 (UTC)- Changed.Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:47, December 25, 2009 (UTC)
"He commonly dressed in overalls and carried tools and switches which he sometimes forgot wherever he went." This reads rather awkwardly. Could it be tweaked, and the meaning clarified? Basically what it says right now is that he sometimes lost things everywhere he went.Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 03:31, January 1, 2010 (UTC)- Changed.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:47, January 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Eh, that doesn't fix the problem. The problem is that you basically say that he sometimes does something all the time. Well, did he sometimes do it or did he always do it? Perhaps this could be fixed by saying something like: "He commonly dressed in overalls and carried tools and switches which he sometimes forgot while traveling." Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 16:13, January 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Let's try this wording; point is: He usually dressed in overalls; he usually carried tools; he sometimes lost tools. As far as I know, he never lost his overalls. --Skippy Farlstendoiro 16:25, January 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Eh, that doesn't fix the problem. The problem is that you basically say that he sometimes does something all the time. Well, did he sometimes do it or did he always do it? Perhaps this could be fixed by saying something like: "He commonly dressed in overalls and carried tools and switches which he sometimes forgot while traveling." Jonjedigrandmaster (Jedi Beacon) 16:13, January 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Changed.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 15:47, January 1, 2010 (UTC)
- Toprawa:
Something needs to be rearranged regarding the Appearances and Sources section. You include the {{1st}} tag in the Sources list next to the first release of The Long Shot Campaign, but the First Appearance tag should never be in the Sources list. The whole point of the First Appearance tag is to show a subject's "first appearance," and items in the Source list are not "appearances." The two The Long Shot Campaign items should either be moved into the Appearances section, if that is indeed appropriate, or {{1st}} should be replaced with {{1stm}}. And in that case, the {{1st}} tag should then be applied to the first item in the "Appearances" list.Toprawa and Ralltiir 04:51, January 9, 2010 (UTC)- Have a look.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:58, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
- The Long Shot Campaign is not written from an IU perspective, then? Because if so, then those two Source list items should actually be in the Appearances section. Toprawa and Ralltiir 09:03, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
- As the campaign progresses, introduce gamemaster characters from the ship to the player characters (...) That's OOU, thus TLSC is a Source, thus no change needed, true? Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:18, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
- Definitely sounds OOU to me. You're more familiar with the source than I am, so I'll trust your judgment. Toprawa and Ralltiir 21:16, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
- As the campaign progresses, introduce gamemaster characters from the ship to the player characters (...) That's OOU, thus TLSC is a Source, thus no change needed, true? Skippy Farlstendoiro 10:18, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
- The Long Shot Campaign is not written from an IU perspective, then? Because if so, then those two Source list items should actually be in the Appearances section. Toprawa and Ralltiir 09:03, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
- Have a look.--Skippy Farlstendoiro 08:58, January 9, 2010 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 21:16, January 9, 2010 (UTC)