Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Liberation of Camp Four

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The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Liberation of Camp Four

(4 ACs/1 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. ACvote IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 03:22, December 27, 2012 (UTC)
  2. Mattjorgdbb (talk) 04:48, January 8, 2013 (UTC)
  3. ACvote Cavalier OneFarStar(Squadron channel) 11:09, January 9, 2013 (UTC)
  4. ACvote Final product looks very good. BTW, I take it your nomination comment is a reference to Medal of Honor. :P —Cal JediInfinite Empire (Personal Comm Channel) 22:58, January 11, 2013 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:45, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Object

Floyd
  • The first section of "The valley" reads very choppily.
  • I've seen you use abbreviations such as "didn't", which isn't very encyclopedic terminology. Try to avoid this.
  • Some of the description of the battle is kinda play-by-play: for instance, "Once inside the block, the prisoners called to him. He told them to stand back so he could blow the door. The prisoners ran to nearby civilian speeders, and he escorted them uphill to the next set of cell blocks, destroying turrets and droids. They hid behind a security hangar while Sykes switched to a Gian speeder."
  • Article for this "advanced laser technology"?
  • "With the camp liberated, the resistance gained new recruits, including several seasoned officers." Such as? IFYLOFD (Floyd's crib) 05:29, December 26, 2012 (UTC)
Cav
Toprawa
  • Can we pipelink to a specific speeder model here? "Lieutenant Gavyn Sykes stole a Federation speeder"
  • I'm confused about the mention of troop carriers. The infobox's linking suggests the Federation's troop carriers are Platoon Attack Craft, but the article pipelinks to Trade Federation Troop Transport. It's either one or the other, I'm guessing.
  • In the infobox it's "Gian Speeder," but in the article it's "Gian speeder." Please make uniform.
  • This is a dangling modifier, as it is not clear who "he" is referring to. Please replace "he" with either "Sykes" or "Hollis," whichever is correct: "As he escorted the prisoners downhill into the last group of cell blocks, they were ambushed and trapped by more tanks and fighters."
  • The camp's "Barracks," which is listed in the infobox, is never mentioned by name in the article itself, so if it is being referred to at some point, the reference is not clear. I would recommend mentioning these barracks at some point in the article's text.
  • The "Aftermath" section pipelinks to the "Naboo Underground," but from reading that article myself, it does not seem to apply correctly to what the article is attempting to reference. I think the "Naboo Resistance" proper is more appropriate, which has already been linked to. I would probably recommend removing this "Underground" pipelink.
  • It has become customary to use the CSWE citation template when using that source in referencing. Please apply this to reference 6. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 18:59, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
    • I've heard the opposite, but added. Corellian PremierJedi symbolThe Force will be with you always 20:24, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
      • Thank you for adding it. Whoever told you that would be mistaken. The whole point of the CSWE citation template, naturally, is to use it with citations. :P Using it in the Sources list is another matter that has met with contention. I'd be happy to discuss this more with you on IRC if you want. In the meantime, I added in the remainder of the fields of the template. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 21:45, January 24, 2013 (UTC)
  • I leave this as a recommendation rather than a formal objection, but it seems like the article could definitely find some more images to illustrate the battle. Toprawa and Ralltiir (talk) 19:05, January 24, 2013 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 21:45, January 24, 2013 (UTC)


  1. WP:VG. Thanks to Cal Jedi for the pre-nom review. Corellian PremierJedi symbolThe Force will be with you always 22:57, December 21, 2012 (UTC)