Wookieepedia:Good article nominations/Lasavvou

< Wookieepedia:Good article nominations
The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.

Lasavvou

  • Nominated by: NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 08:05, 2 August 2009 (UTC)
  • Nomination comments: None

(3 ACs/2 Users/5 Total)

Support

  1. Inqvote Would've supported on FAN if it had stayed over 1000 words. IFYLOFD (You will pay the price for your lack of vision!) 02:56, 3 August 2009 (UTC)
  2. Nice work NayayenOld Republic military symboltalk 08:07, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
  3. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 13:40, 9 August 2009 (UTC)
  4. ACvote CC7567 (talk) 02:24, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
  5. ACvote Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:32, September 1, 2009 (UTC)

Object

  2. Nayayen
    • "a branch of the crime syndicate the Exchange." This sounds a little odd, surely just "the Exchange crime sydicate"?
      • It is not the Exchange but rather a different, side company that is covertly owned by the Exchange.
        • Nevermind, I realized what you ment after posting that. Fixed. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 17:26, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
    • You also don't mention that the docking authority was owned by the Exchange in the body of the article.
      • I thought I'd remedied that already.
    • Link to CUSWE entry?
      • It says nothing but "He was stranded and got saved." It doesn't really help the article.
    • "...Kahranna, as well as her family, with him off the planet." Nar Shaddaa is a moon.
      • Fixed.
    • Same planet/moon issue near the end of the P&T and Bts.
      • Fixed.
    • Other than that, looks good Naru. NayayenOld Republic military symboltalk 09:36, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
    • You'll need to take care of that redlink now that Rule 8 has been tweaked to have none in the intro.NayayenOld Republic military symboltalk 17:36, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
      • It was a non-article that I'd forgotten was deleted or moved or what-have-you. The link has been removed. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 05:23, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
  3. QGJ
      • I think you should use the {{GameLS}} template in the bio.
        • Added.
      • The mention of the Jedi Civil War is unique to the intro.
        • Added.
      • You use the "with what credits he had" construction twice. Try to vary it a bit.
        • Fixed.
      • Bts. "If the Exile follows the dark path when the Ithorian asks if she is part of the dock authority, if the player says that she is and that they can negotiate a lower price, he will pay her 200 credits to get more time to pay the fee but never talk to her again." Three "if"s in the same sentence doesn't quite work. Reword.
        • How's this? NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 05:23, 5 August 2009 (UTC)
          • You haven't touched this sentence at all. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 12:43, 6 August 2009 (UTC)
            • Sorry. Fixed.
      • Good job otherwise. QuiGonJinn Senate seal(Talk) 21:02, 4 August 2009 (UTC)
  4. One thing:
    • "The Ithorian shipped deliveries around the galaxy and was in the middle of such a shipment in 3,951 BBY, taking a large shipment of cryogenic power cells to a contact that was supposed to meet him on the moon." Too many ship/shipments. All I got for you. Chack Jadson (Talk) 23:58, 22 August 2009 (UTC)
  5. Attack of the Clone
    • "a group with an unknown purpose": I seriously do not want to see that ever again. If your context is going to make use of the IU-banned "unknowns", then reword it or don't put it in.
      • Sorry, I forgot to change that ;) NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 02:07, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
    • If there's enough info, please link his contact.
      • There is not. He was supposed to pick up a load of the cells from Lasavvou but did not show up. NaruHina Talk Anakinsolo 02:07, 31 August 2009 (UTC)
    • Please vary "successful".
    • Please do something about the clashing tenses in the Bts. Pick one tense and stick with it. CC7567 (talk) 19:26, 30 August 2009 (UTC)

Comments

Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 23:36, September 1, 2009 (UTC)