- The following discussion is preserved as an archive of a good article nomination that was successful. Please do not modify it.
Contents
Komm Karsh
- Nominated by: Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:26, May 29, 2010 (UTC)
- Nomination comments: I didn't wrote this guy, but after some rephrasing and other things I present you Supreme Commander Komm Karsh, the only strategic reserve of the Yuuzhan Vong Empire
(3 ACs/3 Users/6 Total)
Support
- Thefourdotelipsis 10:46, June 12, 2010 (UTC)
CC7567 (talk) 21:06, June 12, 2010 (UTC)- --TK-299 (Click Here)
06:11, June 13, 2010 (UTC)
- Menkooroo 17:59, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
Chack Jadson (Talk) 22:22, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
JangFett (Talk) 22:40, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
Object
Xd
No Personality and traits section? -- 1358 (Talk) 06:58, May 30, 2010 (UTC)- Nope he never appears personnally and there is no info for a P&T. Clone Commander Lee Talk 11:50, May 30, 2010 (UTC)
Dot to the Four
"By the time Supreme Overlord Shimrra Jamaane was in power, the Yuuzhan Vong invaded the galaxy and Karsh was the commander of the Yuuzhan Vong's only strategic buffer." - Eh, what's a strategic buffer? Could this be explained a bit?- Not much said about it in the novel, but I hope it is clearer now.
- I've reworded it again, and I hope it still works. "For an extreme case," doesn't quite gel in the greater context of the sentence, but hopefully what's there now will do.
- Not much said about it in the novel, but I hope it is clearer now.
You flip between capitalizing "the Supreme Commander" and not doing so. At this point, I don't mind which one you pick, but pick one for consistency.- Used "Supreme Commander".
You've pipelinked to laser when the Ksstarr opens fire, but I didn't think the Vong used lasers...?- Removed.
- Solid work otherwise. Good job. Thefourdotelipsis 04:03, June 12, 2010 (UTC)
- Thank you. Clone Commander Lee Talk 10:41, June 12, 2010 (UTC)
Chack J
You suddenly introduce the war-coordinator "had found the planet's war-coordinator." This needs context.- Fixed.
Also, does Refugee explicitly say that his sibling has been promoted to his rank (though it's really only commander)? I assume it does, but if it merely says that he's been escalated to commander, then obviously there's no contradiction.- Yep, it's stated.
- Good work otherwise. Chack Jadson (Talk) 23:47, June 16, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:47, June 17, 2010 (UTC)
Fett
In both the intro and bio, you keep switching between "In 28 BBY" and "Around 28 BBY." Which one is correct?- Fixed.
"and Karsh was the commander of the Yuuzhan Vong's only strategic buffer in case of a major enemy reprisal" I thought he was Supreme Commander?- His rank was Supreme Commander, but he was commander of the task force.
- From what I'm seeing, it doesn't make any sense by saying he was a Supreme Commander and then saying he's a commander. Possibly if you say he led the task force it would avoid any confusion.
- Fixed.
- From what I'm seeing, it doesn't make any sense by saying he was a Supreme Commander and then saying he's a commander. Possibly if you say he led the task force it would avoid any confusion.
- His rank was Supreme Commander, but he was commander of the task force.
"His death, and the loss of his fleet, destabilized the Yuuzhan Vong Empire." Let's reword this sentence. Right now, I don't know why it specifically destabilized the entire Vong Empire. Could you elaborate a little more, and perhaps begin the sentence with "As a result of his death..." I'll leave it up to you.- Reworded.
- Why was it destabilized as a result of his death and loss of his fleet?
- Fixed.
- Why was it destabilized as a result of his death and loss of his fleet?
- Reworded.
Context on Harrar and Tla.- I believ Commander and Priest are enough contect.
- I don't understand what you mean by "of the" Do you mean Vong forces were led by Harrar and Tla?
- Fixed.
- I don't understand what you mean by "of the" Do you mean Vong forces were led by Harrar and Tla?
- I believ Commander and Priest are enough contect.
Who captured the library? Perhaps after you added context on Harrar and Tla, this would take care of it. As it stands, it's quite confusing.- Added context.
- See objection above
- Added context.
"[...]which emerged" Emerged where?- Clarified.
"Karsh reverted his fleet to space over the planet" "Reverted" doesn't work here, as it means he once had his fleet over the planet at some point, and you failed to mention this in the bio. Also, where was his fleet? It sounds like his fleet was on the planet, as you say "he went back to space and over the planet."- Fixed.
Context on yammosk-- Adressed.
- I'll give it another look. JangFett (Talk) 15:27, June 18, 2010 (UTC)
- Thanks. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:36, June 18, 2010 (UTC)
Karsh-mallow
Can you give a little bit of context on Wraith Squadron and the Jedi? The former does come right after you say "New Republic Forces", but the way it's written still kinda seems like they've already been introduced. The Jedi task force kinda comes out of nowhere --- who are the Jedi allied with?Menkooroo 05:04, June 19, 2010 (UTC)- Fixed. Thanks. Clone Commander Lee Talk 17:41, June 19, 2010 (UTC)
Comments
Approved as a Good article by AgriCorps 22:39, June 19, 2010 (UTC)